Your rank order as a wife in a plural marriage doesn’t mean jack squat.
In ancient polygamist cultures, having the status of “first wife” meant you ruled the roost and could lord your power over every other hussy added to your husband’s harem. But like most of modern culture, newer is better now.
First wives can even be divorced (as in the Browns’ case) to make room for legal unions with a more – ahem – updated model. Ouch.
In a polygamous family, you can marry your sister. By accident.
Wait – what? The children of polygamous unions are all considered siblings, whether half, full, or step. So when Kody’s father and one of his multiple wives’ mothers ALSO married each other, they suddenly became siblings “in the eyes of God.”
Which adds a whole new meaning to the term “Sister Wife.” <shudder>
When finding a new wife, the entire polygamous family must “date” her.
As we’ve learned on Seeking Sister Wife, proposing to that special second, third, or fourth girlfriend isn’t just up to the dude. Nope. The newbie must be “courted” by everyone – I’m talking previous wives, children, and possibly even postal carriers/lawn service personnel/tax preparers.
Think about the dating process like this: It’s The Bachelor meets Survivor meets Supermarket Sweep. In other words, it is almost as stressful as Bumble.
Please cover your arms, thanks.
Traditional FLDS families practice modesty in their attire, which mostly means keeping yourself covered. In Kody’s case, it apparently also means growing a killer mullet.
But whatever you do - don’t wear the color red!
The Browns don’t seem to practice this little known and totally arbitrary tradition, but many FLDS members do. In 2008, controversial leader Warren Jeffs forbid his female followers from wearing red. The reason? It’s too “sensual.”
Interesting point, considering that Jeffs himself owned a red sports car – and was driving it when the Feds arrested him! Oops.