n case you were somehow blissfully unaware, parenting is hard, y'all! (I know, I know. News of the century, right?)
Luckily for parents, there are a bunch of them in the world, and in an ideal society, they're all there to help each other when needed. After all, we're all on the same team, right? ('Cause you know kids are constantly plotting to take over the world.)
Our sister site Bad Parenting Moments has decided to take advantage of the great advice parents provide each other. Today's question comes from Annie (not her real name, BTW), whose husband has become a helicopter parent to their kids. Here's the best advice BPM's readers had for Annie:
Here's Annie's question:
“Hey, BPM! So, my husband’s parenting style is very different from mine—like, I feel like I’ll go nuts if I have to respond to every bump and holler that comes out of the kids’ rooms, whereas any time he so much as hears a peep he wants an explanation for exactly what happened and gives them a 20 minute lecture. He’s really overprotective, and while I’m SO glad he’s involved and cares, and I try to walk away and let him parent the way he feels like he needs to parent…it really bothers me that it means my more laid-back, ‘let them learn for themselves’ parenting style gets steamrollered like it doesn’t matter. Is there some way to balance things out?”
People were quick to offer their own advice for dealing with helicopter parenting. First up? Become the helicopter!
What if you give him a dose of his own medicine? Every time he does something, give him a 20-minute lecture and become really overprotective of him, etc. Not in a nasty way but just to show him what he’s like, he may not realize what he’s doing. Or, you know, just lay down some LEGO bricks for him to step on each time and use it as negative reinforcement. 😂 – Bekki Fountain
This one requires a field trip:
Take him to the park (minus the kid) and point out the 8-year-old that is whining and crying like a 1-year-old and asking the parent to do it all. Then look at hubby and ask him if he really wants his child to be like that.
Then point out the 4-year-old off having fun, using their imagination and investigating the world. When they call for mom or dad, it’s to show them some awesome thing they found. Then ask him if that is more what he wants his child to emulate. – AshleyHope Hudgins-Tarantino
Here's a crazy idea. How about communicating with each other?
Is he an anxious person, or authoritarian? Some lecturers are exerting their authority in a managerial way, which is annoying, but not harmful if it’s not aggressive. Time and coaxing can help back that type off a bit. Of course, aggressive/bully behavior should be nipped, but that doesn’t seem to be the issue. If he has anxieties and fears of injury and tragedy that lead him to lectures about caution and worry… that needs to be addressed. The kids will pick up those fearful tendencies, and his patrolling may get worse. You don’t want the whole situation to become neurotic. Bottom line, try to see where it’s coming from and assess the level of concern from there. – Charlene Silver
Remember: Toddlers gonna toddle.
I don’t know how it is at your home but similar things happen in my home. This is usually because the daddy comes back from work in the evening and spends lesser time than I am with the kids. So, I know she would not get hurt as she has climbed that chair 200 times since morning and has mastered it. And spilling water, putting food on the face, I have seen it all the whole day, but daddy hasn’t. So, I let daddy alone with Bubu on a weekend and took my time off, and then I started explaining that she is just being a toddler and it is important to let her be. Unless there is a danger. I think he got it. – Lavanya Athreya
But do you actually need to change this behavior? This next person’s advice says maybe not…