Comments on: 12 ways to love your wayward children. What would you add to the list?

By: Debbie

Debbie — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:45:28 +0000

Thank you for your insight. This was a great article. Very helpful. I wish more returning prodigals would give us their wisdom. I still don’t understand when you write at the end Only His grace can draw them …and bind them safely to Himself ; “He will do this for many.” I guess you mean he will not draw all. It’s inconceivable to me that God would tell us to be fruitful and multiply and then only draw a few but consign the other “many” to hell – so if you have five maybe He’ll draw three and the others are damned. but that’s a whole other issue.

By: ruthie

ruthie — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:45:07 +0000

I read your list a few months ago and found it a great encouragement. One of the points that particularly hit home was the one about how others in the church view you, your child, your faith, your family’s faith when you have a child who is not in Christ. One woman at our church actually said to me, “Were you not Christians when your daughter was young.” At that point I remembered a sermon of your Dad’s about the Unbelief of Bitterness (I think that was the title.) and with God’s grace chose to forgive. It was her world view and no matter her view I will love and pray for my daughter until God chooses to make his call irresistable. Thanks for your list.

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 23:52:58 +0000

I stumbled upon your article by accident at a time when my 20 year old was recently arrested (for the second time) and left home the next day. We have not seen him in a month, he hasn’t talked to his dad and I’ve only had a brief text conversation with him. We are devastated beyond words. We are holding on to the truth that God loves him even more than we do and are trusting Him with whatever He chooses for our son, but it is still very hard– this doesn’t fit into what we thought or hoped for and it’s hard for us to see good come from it…. but His plans are not ours and our faith must be in the person of Jesus Christ and not our situation.

By: Donna

Donna — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:24:59 +0000

Thank you for this very insightful article that has helped to refocus on what truly matters. In the midst of the pain and tears we must not lose sight of the goodness of God. In the struggle with a prodigal there is the reminder of our own sinfulness when we sin in our anger- we recognize our spiritual povert y. And we become desperate for God, knowing that we can rely only on Him for true and lasting change These are two very precious gifts from Him. I will plead more rather than rebuke!

By: david

david — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:25:29 +0000

i would strongly recommend getting john macarthur’s newest book, “a tale of two sons: the inside story of a father, his sons, and a shocking murder.” it is the most comprehensive look at this incredible parable i have ever read. and i think the extensive treatment of this, jesus’ longest parable, would help “set the record straight” in terms of the exchanges between abraham and frank over whether or not the father “enabled” his son’s prodigal living (abraham) or he just gave his son what he rightfully could demand (frank). i would argue both views are way too simplified and really do not give fair treatment to this amazing parable. more later.

http://www.amazon.com/Tale-Two-Sons-Inside-Shocking/dp/0785262687

By: Paul

Paul — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:15:03 +0000

Thank you, Abraham, for your reality-based, hope-filled, and Christ-centered thoughts.

By: Frank Turk

Frank Turk — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:43:41 +0000

that smilie, btw, is an accident of the comments here and not intended.

By: Frank Turk

Frank Turk — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:42:41 +0000

That’s a great question, Abraham.

I don’t think the father “enabled” the prodigal son. The son demanded his inheritance, (it was due to him in some respect) and the father gave him what was due to him as an inheritance. When that was all spent, all gone, the son didn’t write home and say, “Hey Dad: you could bail me out if you sent Eliezar with a sack of Denari and a nice coat. Don’t wreck my life by cutting me off.”

When the PS spent all the money, it was gone — he knew there wasn’t any more where that came from with which to do what he was doing. His thoughts on that matter are clear: “I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”

It’s a somewhat looney American idea that somehow parents should simply bleed themselves to death financially for their kids — no matter how bad those kids are. Are they welcome home? Of course they are. Are they still family? We should wait for them — as you and I have discussed before — from a long way off, eager to see them return.

But to say that we should give them a second inheritance after they have spent the first — or worse, not to set the boundary of “inheritance” and leave the matter open-ended as if money is somehow not a consequence of something else (as in, “if you don’t work, you don’t eat”) — is enablement, and overlooks many, many other places where Scripture teaches us how to be good parents.

Boundaries are good things. One can’t live them if one hasn’t learned them.

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:23:29 +0000

I would also be interested in the “side bar story” that was mentioned. And can you give real concrete examples of showing Jesus to my almost 13 year old who already battles pronography. Thank you for the encouragement.

By: Jake

Jake — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:19:14 +0000

Excellent. I'm especially encouraged to read #3. One of the many benefits to drinking in moderation. (Plus Matt 18:15-17 would probably apply to the use of Miller High Life.)