Aug 11, 2008
Our audiences know something about us that we don’t.
When we communicate with others, there’s one thing about us that they’ll always understand better than we do:
How we come across.
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[...] by dh in Uncategorized. trackback I thought this was very well said by Abraham Piper on his blog 22words: When we communicate with others, there’s one thing about us that they’ll always understand [...]
Since ‘how we come across’ is defined as ‘find or uncover’, communication also depends on the readers attention, education, comprehension, and compassion.
I wonder what communication without a sinful nature would look like. Emily has a good point. God speaks perfectly–we don’t hear perfectly. People hear God telling them all sorts of things. There is perfect communication in the Trinity. I look forward to hearing God without my sinful nature messing things up.
On the flip side, I guess God always hears perfectly. We have the Holy Spirit and Christ interceding on our behalf. Sometimes, garbage in, words fit for the presence of God out.
btw, I’d love to hear any objections to what I posted–I don’t want to be thinking wrongly on this.
This “how we come across” part is HUGE. I’ve learned this well from my bride over the years. While my focus is on the “truth” coming out of my mouth, I’m not always well attuned to the tone of my message.
Sometimes people aren’t rejecting your truths, they’re rejecting your tone. That’s why speaking the truth IN LOVE is so important…
And why an outside perspective is vital — helping point out the planks in our own eyes that we just can’t see.
Excellent point.
I used to respond with heavy artillery to negative commenters on my blog, until another (mildly negative) commenter pointed out how I was coming across.
I’ve since tried to respond to attackers with more wisdom and good nature, while still addressing the issues honestly and directly.
Tony, I agree on your first point it will be wonderful to have clear communication… without sinful intent.
On the garbage in part…Not sure what you mean…two interpretations come to mind, both of which I think would apply…
1. Garbage in (pretty much all there is outside the Living Word of God)…cleaned up and sent back out to God (by the Holy Spirit) as our real hearts cry…or
2, Garbage in – Garbage out…maybe God isn’t in there…*: )
This is an excellent point. Many, many times in my life I have been shocked by what was behind that other set of eyes looking at me.
There are certainly paths to greater self-awareness, disciplines that can overcome the worst dimensions of this blindness. Really listening to others and watching their verbal and non-verbal cues. Asking good friends (if you’ve got the guts). Keeping track of interpersonal blow ups and going back to analyze them with one’s self and not the other person “in the dock.” Those can help.
But I always wonder just how much we can accomplish in this area.
Nancy-
#1 is what I was thinking. I think I know what you mean by #2. Got an example?
Perhaps this Implies that as a human I am not as “in control” in delivering the key message as I imagine? Wondering if from time to time there are other pieces of my narration that others will grasp more fully than me?
I think this is exactly what Paul’s getting at in Eph 4:17. You gotta speak the truth IN LOVE.
No ones telling how they found Abraham ;) …hehehe i found this blog via Google :P hehe…
Tony…While the axiom is “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”… Most of us would also agree that out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks…. Of course during the mind renewal phase of our lives…. this should always be a judgement of degrees… for we are being changed day by day… So when garbage comes out… possibly a change of input is in order…or maybe not only input… but a complete change of heart…
This is a lesson I learned back in college from a jock: if you really care about what you’re doing you have to record it and watch the game tapes.
This is true in radio broadcasting, and it is true in all other places where you are communicating to other people. This is why on’e own typos are so obvious after one has hit the publish button.