Oct 30, 2008
We should value that others value what we don’t.
Why are we so critical of people who value different things than us?
Imagine everyone sharing my particular priorities—society would disintegrate.
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Great thought!
Its similar to the husband/wife thing i heard… God will send a wife/husband that does not value what you value most so that you might love like Jesus did…. unconditionally.
Wonder if this statement hold up with respect to the One who is Supremely Valuable?
It saddens me that the lost don’t value God. I “get” why they don’t, but I don’t value/treasure/cherish/think-it’s-good that they don’t.
What about people who value grammar books?
for example???
because my thoughts echo scott’s
I think people are critical of others’ values because they may interpret all ones that are different from their own to be an actual devaluing of their values.
How legitimate is that interpretation, though? Do some values undermine/devalue other values?
because we confuse unity with uniformity
I think your question betrays a bias which you should at least analyze if not reform: that somehow criticism is a bad thing.
The real value of having people who hold values other than our own in close cultural proximity is the insight they bring to our own foibles. In that, we should (as Mark Driscoll said at the DG2008 National Conference, though I would have framed it differently) receive criticism — even lousy criticism — with some measure of self awareness.
There are people who, frankly, hate me. They hate what I stand for, and they hate it that they care enough about what I have said and done to expend that kind of energy on me. And when I get entangled in their spheres of influence, my first reaction to them is always, “wow — can that actually be true? How did they arrive at that conclusion?”
Even if my ultimate conclusion about their criticism is, “apparently, if logic were a pair of pant and perception was a nice suit, they’d wear the pants backwards on their heads and use the suit to sweep the floor,” criticism is good for me.
And it is also good for you.
What David wrote.
I think it’s possible to value that there is a difference in priorities while at the same time thinking your priorities are better.
However
This will not usually be the case, because most differences in values are between 2 benign things.
How to school kids might be a good example. Whether you’ve come down as a public-schooler or a home-schooler, odds are–and perhaps it’s subconscious–you think that’s the best way for everyone, not just your family. (At least I know I’m this way.)
My point is that if everyone had the same set of values, such that they always came to the same conclusions, the world wouldn’t work.
Even if God were everybody’s top priority this would still be true. There is still plenty to disagree about after we’ve all agreed that God is supreme.
Great post again!
Nobody can value everything that there is to value; through other people we can see things God has made valuable though we don’t have the same kind of access.
The credits role of every good movie is a reflection that so many people with different values have an impact on what we call “a good movie.” For example, the guy who values the impact of *sound* will bring something different to the table than the one who values the effect of *music*, as well as the one who values the beauty of *lighting*. Each of these will likely view the other’s roles as not as important as theirs.
My brother is a staunch Obama supporter. I value him, as he does me and we call a truce on all political talk.
Abraham –
I would agree with you that there’s a difference between being contentious and offering legitimate criticism.
I would also like to endorse your example specifically as one in which people make something into a morally-charged imperative when in fact it’s a matter of preference, priorities, and frankly pay checks — and to overlook those issues for some sort of contrived “family values” or “God-honoring family” thing … I see exactly what you’re saying.
So mark it down: we agree.
:-)
Right on Abraham. I’m just glad someone is willing to admit that if everyone shared your exact priorities that society would disintegrate.
I routinely marvel that there are people out there who WANT to do taxes and accounting, or programming and the other tech related stuff behind computers.
Praise God for them, because I would HATE my whole life if I had to do that kind of stuff.
I think christians are more prone to this because of what Frank said–we tend to moralize issues. I decide such-n-such is best, and being a christian, I’m thinking biblically, so my decision is the right one, being it was based on moral absolutes. Anyone who thinks differently is wrong.
btw…M.Taylor, you’d HATE my life : )
Your example about schooling is a good one. I have felt that tension when people ask why we homeschool, there are about 5 reasons, and as I’m explaining them, I’m trying not to come off as if I think that if you’re not homeschooling, your not getting all these benefits. I know there are trade offs, and I think it’s all a matter of where God calls you to be–homeschool, public school, or private school of some kind–but it can be hard to explain.
But when I first read this post, I was thinking more along this line. Some people highly value the arts; others devote themselves to scientific studies and careers. Some are very thoughtful and reflective–almost with their head in the clouds; others are more practical and less “dreamy.” My practical, though not uncreative, husband and children, keep me from forgetting to clean the house, do laundry, and all kind of things that I could easily neglect simply because along the way I picked up the idea that it’s not important to have a perfect house; the dust will always be there and cleaning should not take us away from more important things. (However, after two decades of that thinking, I have learned that if you think the dust will always be there, IT WILL always be there. The day for catching up will not come.)
So perhaps you will forgive me if I digress from the topic a bit to announce a 2nd goal (the first goal I announced on your post about motivation. If you want to get something done, tell everyone you’re going to do it. I cleaned up one junky room in the house every day this summer–sometimes more than one; some days none, and it worked!) Now that that is done, I’m planning to do NOTHING (except time along with God) each day until my daily chores and one weekly chore are finished–no e-mail, no blogging, no school work, no research, no studio work.
I love my new cleaning list. It’s adapted form How Clean Is Your House by Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie. Thanks for the motivation:)
I remember hearing someone (I can’t remember who) say that “if two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary.”
He then followed it up with “My wife and I are both very necessary.”
My mother, among her many wise sayings, would often say, ‘it’d be a pretty boring world if we all thought the same’ along with ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’.
On a more serious note. People make moral judgements of right vs wrong on too many issues where there is room for both sides. The example of home schooling is an excellent one. It is a personal, family decision not a decision of right vs wrong, good vs evil. When people make moral judgements of issues that have two sides they create walls that hinder communication and many times the Gospel.
I agree wholeheartedly, especially on many issues where I used to think it would be better if everyone did think the same way I do.
That said, I wish everyone would drive like I do.
JoeS, you might want to visit Chicago. My husband says people in Chicago know how to drive. Perhaps he was just there during a good midweek season…
This comment is pertaining to the title of this post. It depends on what they value. Example: I’m not going to value that someone else values abortion as being okay. I refuse to do that.
Amen Abraham.
Let me throw one out there for us.
In the Kingdom of God, if my priority is foreign missions, shouldn’t I also value those who place a higher or more immediate priority on economic justice, business culture, the arts, etc?
i like what myrddin wrote above. besides missions and ministry, i’m actually often really glad that not everybody does what i do (live in the ivory tower of academia). i’m glad there are people who share the “less learning, more earning” mantra of my parents.
i think it’s actually a little bit harder (for me) to appreciate these differences in the smaller, personal sphere. why doesn’t my roommate value a clean kitchen the same way i do? why doesn’t my boyfriend value going out and experiencing strange new things the way i do (and why don’t i value staying home and loving familiar things the same way he does)? can’t everybody be like me?
Quite right AP -
So many men, so many minds!
It takes all sorts.
It wouldn’t do if we were all the same, now, would it?
Variety is the spice of life.
No man is an island.
It’s all part of life’s rich tapestry…
There’s no accounting for tastes!
Different strokes for different folks!
One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
;O)
ED…
Conflict…not physical battle…means we are close enough to have an effect on one another…how sad if we are never close enough to someone to generate some measure of conflict…
Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose]. Proverbs 27:17 AMP
This post struck me in entirely different way, because of my growing desire to fight for the unborn. God is also giving me a desire to love the friends I have who are committed to the necessity of abortion (even though I am often tempted to think and say things much worse than Frank about them :). They value abortion, and value a society that legalizes it, subsidizes it, and punishes those that don’t support it.
I am thinking and praying through how I must consider what other values they have that lead them to value abortion. Most, I believe, are sinful. Most, also, are ones that I have had at times or even now battle to not have. And some are legitimate. But it’s hard to sort through which is which, and how to address them.
So true! If only my sinful nature didn’t rail against this practice. Great reminder. I needed to be reminded. It’s so easy to be insensitive to others and live in my own world. Thanks, Josh. Keep up the thought provoking posts.
My mother’s response – “That’s what makes horse races”.
ouch, that one hurt
I love God. I’m confident in my faith.
And I love listening to other people share their faith–not because I’m looking for some battle plan to convert them to my faith–but because I love to hear about a person’s passion.
Or we might say . . .
Why are we so critical of people who value different things than we?
oh. yeah. now i see what you’re getting at. i definitely agree. if everyone valued what *i* value, society would surely disintegrate.