Dec 8, 2008
7 phrases people use to keep from sounding as certain as they feel.
1. Yeah, but…
2. I think…
3. In my opinion…
4. I’d like to suggest that…
5. I guess…
6. What I’m saying is…
7. It seems to me…
Subscribe to 22 Words
Recent Comments
- Will on How to become a wine expert and other advice for inexperienced wine lovers
- Stephen May on It’s not a slide, it’s a proto-steampunk ghetto park bench for one.
- Stephen May on Who or whom? A clear, simple answer from a professional grammarian
- Stephen May on Elitists in Minnesota town Lino Lakes approve English-only resolution
- Will Adair on How to become a wine expert and other advice for inexperienced wine lovers
Sponsors
Categories
- Arts in General (24)
- Bible (66)
- Blogging (153)
- Brevity (25)
- Constructive Criticism (268)
- Faith (210)
- Food & Drink (54)
- Language (214)
- Literature (104)
- Love (86)
- Miscellanea (286)
- Movies (14)
- Music (155)
- parenting (153)
- Personal (182)
- Questions (255)
- Quotes (41)
- Recommendations (129)
- Sports (8)
- Uncategorized (8)
- Visual Art (27)
- Writing (56)
Archives
- July 2010 (107)
- June 2010 (79)
- May 2010 (89)
- April 2010 (62)
- March 2010 (21)
- February 2010 (25)
- January 2010 (32)
- December 2009 (47)
- November 2009 (63)
- October 2009 (45)
- September 2009 (40)
- August 2009 (40)
- July 2009 (40)
- June 2009 (37)
- May 2009 (47)
- April 2009 (51)
- March 2009 (40)
- February 2009 (31)
- January 2009 (44)
- December 2008 (47)
- November 2008 (54)
- October 2008 (50)
- September 2008 (41)
- August 2008 (45)
- July 2008 (51)
- June 2008 (51)
- May 2008 (66)
- April 2008 (74)
- March 2008 (71)
- February 2008 (19)
Reader Recommendations
Some of the books and music that you, the readers, have recommended here over time:
Twitter Recommendations
Theme based on Derek Punsalan's Grid Focus.
Read them all in a row like they’re the beginning of a single sentence and you have the most timid assertion ever.
“I might be wrong, but …”
Yeah but these softening statements may help to temper people like me, in my opinion. I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes my opinion my be stronger than a situation warrants. So it seems to me these phrases might be a grace to those of us with, “open mouth, insert foot” syndrome. But who knows for sure…
That’s true, Abigail.
No criticism intended of these kinds of phrases. They’re essential sometimes to grease relational gears.
Do gears need grease? I don’t know.
Yeah, but I think personalizing opinions using one of the phrases listed above can make for a more socially palatable verbal exchange. In my opinion, sometimes a message can be lost in the self-assured directness in which it’s delivered. I’d like to suggest that when making an assertion, especially assertions stemming from taste, preference or Christian liberty, acknowledging the possible disparity in opinion demonstrates maturity. I guess what I’m saying is that if someone says something like, “Restaurant X has the best X in town” my initial response is usually to counter their opinion with my own while, “I’ve found Restaurant X to have the best X in town” makes me want to learn more.
But that’s just my 2 cents ;-)
There is also that hypothetical conversation that you are actually having… you know when you start it by saying, “I would say…”
Sometimes the uncertainty of how I feel and how I want to communicate it need to match, so I use those. (this would be in line with your “timid assertion” statement)
You might add,
“What if…?”
“Is it possible…?”
And a slew of questions that lead to another angle.
All are useful.
“Don’t you think that…”
In sales we call it greasing the skids.
“Well…”
Gears do need grease. Or oil. Or lubricant of some sort.
there’s also “i feel like . . .” when you know perfectly well that what you’re saying is fact, not feeling. (as in, “actually, i feel like albany is the capital of new york.”)
it’s a polite way to contradict someone, but for some reason, it drives me crazy. (especially when i find myself saying it.)
Actually, most things people are “certain” of are really just our best guesses. So if you are not stating a fact, such as 2 + 2 = 4, then you probably should begin all of your theological comments with one of those precursors. To present your doctrinal belief as a fact would be quite arrogant, although many people do just that.
One of the less natural ones I’ve heard is
“I would submit …”
And I think it’s funny how most everyone used these in their posts. :-)
should you use such social tempering when speaking absolute truth even if the other party may not believe it?
“I was thinking…”
I often say I mean before I’m going to say something I think someone might disagree with or not want to hear. I don’t puposely do it- it’s a bad habit that I wish I didn’t do.
I guess that what I’m saying is, it seems to me that I am (in my opinion) one of the biggest culprits of this. :}
Our high school English teacher taught us to never say, “In my opinion.”
In his words, “If it wasn’t your opinion, you wouldn’t be saying it.”
These phrases make for terrible writing, but are often vital in speech.
I agree with Jesse. Sort of. To my mind, writing an essay requires more formality. But on comment threads, twitters, facebook, blogs, IMs and texts–these little phrases DO grease the conversational gears of “typed conversation” and help keep things friendly.
Know what I mean? :)
On the one hand, I’m very certain about things I assert. On the other hand, there’s always two sides to every story.
(a 22-word reply!)
With respect to the above captioned matter,
How can 22 Words…….
allow 23 Comments?…….
uh, Before me?
Truly, a miscarriage of justice.
Maybe it is time to base tomorrow’s post on today’s total comments. Hence, tomorrow is at LEAST “24 Words”, so far.
Of course, a day without comments could be the demise of the blog.
As Gilda Radner used to say on Saturday Night Live with her character, Emily Littela:
“Never mind”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3FnpaWQJO0&feature=related
I’m with Abigail on this. When I was little, my father told me I had to say “in my opinion” or “I think” because otherwise I came off as arrogant. To be honest, I still don’t like saying them, but I do it because it works.
…and one the best responses to a question people use to keep from sounding as certain as they feel: “Not really”.
One “sermon technique” that has always bugged me is: “I would suggest to you that…”
Not just “I suggest”…. but passive too!
My pastor uses this frequently… I guess it’s just one of his things…
If you are Mark Dever, the phrase is, “Brother…
+ I think these can help on sound a bit humble, too. As in, I’m not going to declare that my little opinion is completely correct, but I still want to state it.
+Kenneth Maresco at Covenant Life said often during Alpha “I submit that…” when asserting Gospel truth. Though we believe the truth is absolute, I find that “submitting” it is charitable and gives the listener an opportunity to consider it instead of telling him how it is.
+Actors, Artists and Movie directors often take this to an extreme by stating “it’s kind of…” Watch the making-of segments on any DVDs and you’ll hear the actors and directors use some form of this phrase
[...] Briscoe on his struggle with being the best… best video I’ve seen in a long, long time. Abraham Piper on 7 ways that people dull the intensity of how they really feel Miscommunication begins with the communicator Justin Wise has the weirdest post of the week… [...]
Almost every time I post here, I start some paragraph with “it seems to me”….and then get rid of it. Good exercise. Got something to say–go ahead and say it!
Pretty sure I’ve heard some people ACTUALLY say that all in a row before getting to their “point”.