Feb 4, 2009
How to deal with your irritation at others’ grammar quirks if you simply can’t forbear.
If it really bothers you, you can have a short conversation couched in terms of your needs, not their inadequacy.
(via Wes)
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© 2012 Abuyo. All rights reserved.
That is a good idea…although I can’t think of any grammar quirks that I would bother confronting anyone with right now.
Yet there is one that is looking me in the face every day lately. Our kids’ youth group has a theme for this year. It’s “Live Different.” Every time I look at the T-shirt or a document with the theme printed on it, I think: DifferentLY. It’s DifferentLY. Not Different. DifferentLY!
i just tried to call you through the ceiling but I do not think you heard me…
i will think about your post later.
The classic “It’s not you, it’s me.”
I know that confrontation over grammatical mistakes is fairly pointless, but it doesn’t seem to change the degree to which it irritates me.
That’s what I get for being an English major!
It’s really hard to listen to someone say, “My weekend went really good.”
I used to interject my snobby, unsolicited grammar corrections. Not worth it.
I limit myself to only correcting people on TV. That way, I get to let it out, and no one gets hurt.
I agree that it’s not worth it. I just cringe inside and move on.
Um…how EXACTLY does this work itself out. “Listen esteemed friend, it’s not you, but your use of the English language is killing me, so could you quite using “ain’t” for “isn’t.”
It seems to me that only the most tone deaf person would miss the implication…
So sorry, Abraham….it would be “quit” not “quite.” Hope you ain’t grinding your teeth.
If you have “grammar needs” then you need to talk to someone more professional than the guy who just split an infinitive.
And I agree that even were this bizarre scenario of grammar confrontation take place it would be a classic case of “It’s not you, it’s me.” Or, in other words, another instance of masked kindness.
I am the grammarian about whom your mother warned you. :-)
This is actually a great tactic in any conversation. It’s a huge leap forward if, for example, as a manager you phrase a concern in terms of what is needed or required rather than in terms of what a person lacks.
This is great advice!
But it’s like a fundie Christian asking another Christian not to drink alcohol because they are the weaker brother and can’t handle it, instead of saying because it’s sinful.
Great advice, but unlikely to be followed. :)
I never corrected until I moved to MN, and I was assaulted with, “Will you borrow that to me?” or “Feel free to set down where ever you want.” I began correcting without abandon. “It’s lend, not borrow. Will you lend that to me.” I alienated some, embarrassed others. It’s OK.
What bugs me most is when professional speakers (and especially preachers) use the pronoun, “I” when it should be “me.” Example- “Jesus died for you and I.”
Also, a good rule would be: never correct someone’s grammar if they’re older than you or if they’re older than 21 yrs of age.
I can correct my kiddos’ grammar, because theirs is just developing and need work. And, depending on your relationship with your spouse you might be able to correct his or hers (the “I feel” language might be helpful here, but might not).
Josh: exactly.
It might seem like false kindness, but it’s often true. The person speaking does not have the problem with the language–the listener does.
Many times the person using incorrect grammar is aware that it’s not exactly right, and it doesn’t bother her.
And many times the person listening should probably … OK … I’ll stop
I’m often at the receiving end of the criticism of pedants – sometimes I deliberately wind them up!
Some people who are sticklers for grammar care little for language, it more about maintaining their status. I’ve heard people say that if writing is grammatically correct then it is good writing, even if it is a just trite cliché!
I also find people who have English as a second language, or whose education is practical rather than academic have valid things to say. What a tragedy to miss out on just because of a few quirks of grammar.