Feb 20, 2009
Isn’t being unbusy just as good a reason to not do something as being busy?
Like this post?
“I’m busy” is generally an acceptable excuse.
I think “I’m not busy and want to keep it that way” should be too.
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Amen to that. Of course, if your “yes” is “yes”, and your “no” is “no”, then you shouldn’t have to present any excuses.
I write BUSY on my calendar on several days out of the month. I don’t plan to do anything in particular, but then when people ask if I am free, I can legitimately say, “my calendar shows I am busy”. It is helpful when you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, but you need to carve out time to do nothing.
I think that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say in most cases. my husband and I use it as needed.
Absolutely! Yes! I agree 100% and that’s a lesson we can all take from Ecclesiastes. I blogged on this topic this week.
This gets a big AMEN from me. I need to now actually take it to heart and do it. :-)
Form a pastor who needs to learn to take a day off—–that’s a great idea. I’ll try that on the next little old lady and see how it works
I think we like to pretend that being busy = being productive. If only it were that easy…
[...] Isn’t being unbusy just as good a reason to not do something as being busy? [...]
yes!
Ha- what an excellent point!
Much agreed. We need to have seasons of being un-busy. It’s also helpful to notice that, sometimes, work creates more work. So even if you take on an unnecessary small thing during a season of trying to be un-busy, that can snowball to a bunch of other things and undo your aim.
definitely.
i think it can (however inappropriately) create more conflict than the “i’m busy” option, which is why people don’t use it as much.
we seem more apt to respect people’s boundaries if they are “busy” than if they are actively seeking rest…
I hate to be just another face in the crowd, but I can’t resist this post… I JUST came up with my ‘own quote’ that ‘Time is a Thief’… it steals us from the values we all respect but ignore.
I value downtime and boundaries but also see that we can easily fall into a trap of letting time hold ud hostage from the important things in life! same point… different angle, a little.
thank you for your post! cindy
I agree that is tends to create more conflict or hurt feelings to just say you want to stay unbusy. Unfortunate but I think it is a cultural value, that if you are not busy you have time for whoever asks. We generally ‘plan’ our time off that we want to have as family time, relaxing time, unbusy time. That way we can honestly tell people that we have ‘plans’, even if that plan is do nothing.
yes. especially when friends want to hang out/have play dates with my kids and/or me… we’re good with two or three “outings” each week. i’m not afraid to say,”no, but thanks for the invite. maybe another time.” i don’t necessarily let others know that we’re resting or trying to not fill up all of our days. there’s no conflict when they don’t know. :)
I agree it is a good reason! But I personally am working on not needing to defend my saying “no” to something. I think we can still honor that person by saying, “Not today; can we schedule another time?”
“Full” and “busy” are two different things…
I’m way into margin, so I give a hearty “yes” to your question.
I will often tell people that I just need some time to myself.
i heard the following exchange yesterday:
“hey, how are you?”
“oh, busy.”
“remarkably busy or just normal busy?”
it seems it’s the standard american answer. i used to LOVE being busy. now it seems so unnatural to me . . . anyway, good point!
I think so, too.
[...] Isn’t being unbusy just as good a reason to not do something as being busy? « 22 Words AMEN, Mr. Piper. (tags: cjh_comment) [...]
I find that people at first are put off my my wanting to have time by myself. It’s strange to tell people you are going hiking by yourself, and no, it’s not because I tried and couldn’t find someone to go with me.
But friends eventually honor it. And sort of like the idea themselves.
I think it depends a great deal upon what you’re being asked to do and what you’re really protecting by not doing it.
I regularly tell friends I’m busy when I’m taking time for myself. It’s not a lie. I’m busy, just not with other people. I still feel bad about it, though, like I am obligated to say yes to people’s invitations all the time. I usually offer an alternate time to meet though, so that they know it’s not that I don’t want to see them.
I agree with Myrddin. I think sometimes we can justify failing to serve others by saying we are busy or need downtime when really we just don’t “feel” like it. That is not to say we should ever sacrifice important family time or necessary rest time or must ALWAYS be serving others, but if we would give up that time for something more appealing, then maybe it is just an excuse.
un-busy = busy doing whatever I am not obligated to do.
Example:
Q. Wanna come over and watch a movie?
A. I’m busy.
Q. I thought you were off today?
A. I am, but I’ve made plans to watch a Seinfeld marathon then take a nap.
A. Oh.
But honestly, I have rarely been that honest with others.
Plus, I have three children and don’t envision watching a marathon of anything followed by a nap!
I’ve also found the phrase, “I have commitments that day” useful.
My commitment may be to read a book or count my fingernails.
Nevertheless, that IS my commitment.
My usual response to queries of my time: “I am always busy, but unfortunately there’s no direct correlation between business and productivity.”
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