Mar 11, 2009
How far will you go to disagree with someone you don’t like (even if they’re right)?
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Sometimes I’d rather be wrong than agree with people I find distasteful, as if I could rearrange reality simply to avoid them.
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I get very untrusting of myself as soon as I sense feelings of “not liking” someone. I’ve found, at least for myself, nothing good ever comes from that. Not liking them becomes the first thing in my mind when I think of them. That completely taints all interactions with that person.
Thank God He likes me.
I feel like this all the time. No examples without perjoring myself.
Fine just one. Rush Limbaugh.
probably wouldn’t debate. i might just say, “i don’t like you”.
I am like that myself. I am pretty sure it is a character flaw and I am working on it. :-)
i find myself not even talking to people I don’t like, but maybe that’s “a whole nother” topic.
I don’t know how far, but any conservative (or liberal, I suppose) talk-radio host would fall into this category for me.
Or the alternative: agreeing with someone you do like. I’ve found recently that I tend to adjust my opinions sometimes based on a friend’s that I really respect. “Oh you feel that way about that situation… maybe I should too…” This can be a character flaw too… sometimes a good thing to put things in perspective, sometimes a bad thing when I don’t trust my own instincts/thoughts.
So many times I find that I can agree with a statement, but absolutely disagree with their motive for the statement or their attitude in making the statement.
As a whole, I’m not above agreement with someone I don’t like or disagreeing with someone I do like – if I’m seeking and upholding truth, then truth IS truth: regardless of my opinion of the truth-teller.
I trend the other way; I come to dislike someone I disagree with and look for personality flaws to dismiss their opinions.
I’m a big fan of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater, so I always strive to be open to recognizing truth, whoever it comes from. Mostly this comes into play for me studying theology. There are a few theologians I love, but still disagree with on points; there are some theologians that really bother me overall, but I will find from time to time they have insightful, biblical things to say.
I find it very hard not to like people, no matter what they’re like, or have done, or are doing. I also find it hard to disagree with someone I think is righter than I am. I’m sure the things are linked. Different wiring, I suppose.
I find it hard to give into people I don’t like. Cause I just don’t want them to have one up on me. Could this be sinful behavior?
I’m always reminded in such tight spots of the verse, “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked” and find that I can only make a clear decision if I absolutely “grab myself by the neck” and CHOOSE to be honest, speak if I must and remove myself physically from the situation if I can!!!…..
because I really HATE having to pretend that something’s not bothering me when it is!
I just deal with it as quickly and cleanly as possible. I would NOT rather be wrong than agree…because I know from much sad experience with my flesh that to let my flesh dictate how I behave and speak in such a situation will make things much, much worse for me. Recognizable sin (fear, pride, determined to be “right”) actually does scare me.
I can empathize with the emotion, but you never know when you’re going to be on “the same side of the table” with people you’re not now.
On the other hand, you can being a discussion showing where you have a basis of agreement before winding up for the big knockout punch of disagreement.
(Just realized I never exactly addressed the question. Maybe I should go into politics. Now if you’d asked it the other way around: How many people are simply ‘default’ programmed to disagree with you because they don’t like you?)
I just tell him he is uglier than I am. On a serious note, I try to be a charitable listener.
I think if he/she is really right.. then I’ll just say, “ok, fine. you’re right… but still, I don’t like you!” then I’ll turn my back and walk away.
No, I can’t do that. I won’t be able to face the person I don’t like.. I’d rather avoid that person and let him/her get all the credits..
i think i am probably as “liberal” as i am (which is really not very) partly as a reaction to the fundamentalism/ists i grew up around and still see a lot of. i can tell because sometimes when i find out some opinion a fundamentalist has on a topic i’ve never given much thought to, i automatically become a semi-fervent champion of the opposing view. i guess it’s like devil’s advocate gone overboard.
however, this article often hovers around in my mind at such times, so’s i don’t get too crazy. :]