May 7, 2009
A trick (I haven’t tried) for dealing with panhandlers and small-time con artists.
It’s obvious when someone on the street is gonna ask for money.
So try defusing the situation by just asking them first.
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© 2012 Abuyo. All rights reserved.
awesome, I would totally try that.
One thing that I do with beggars is ask their name and give them mine. That makes both of us real people. Then I tell them whether I think my Father is leading me to give them something or not.
Actually, this works brilliantly for us here in W. Africa, where we are asked for money every time we go outside. It is great to watch their confused expression.
It’s imperative to be quick though, because if we aren’t the first to ask, then they say, “I asked you first.” But when we do ask first, then we can say to them, “I asked you first,” and then they just laugh and we slap hands and walk away.
But one time it backfired, and I had a little kid give me his money, about 20 cents. He just walked away, and I felt like a schmuck.
This is simply amazing! I would love to see this happen.
It’s bad because I usually whip out and pretend to talk on my cell phone if I can in time.
I did that once in downtown Chicago. The man became very angry. Looking back, it was an unloving thing for me to have done that. I wouldn’t do it again.
I was lost once and asked a panhandler directions before she could get into her “my car just broke down.” She broke character completely and (un)lovingly told me where to go. Although I don’t remember parking in hell.
Interesting–
I interpreted the “ask them first” to mean: ask them first if you can *give* them some money, vs. ask them *for* some money.
Both can diffuse! In different ways.
Also, I wonder what prompted this idea?
[www.constantrecourse.com]
Oh my… that is genius!
My wife would freak out.
my friend and i did this to the kids in haiti. it worked.
I’m a bit shocked to read that this was tried on kids in a country of extreme poverty such as Haiti. I mean, I know many might be “con artists”…but to try to discern that for oneself could have dire consequences. I guess I read too much and know too much about all the possibilities–what if they’re “working” for an adult and if they don’t bring home their quota and they get a severe beating? Or if they’re not under someone else’s control, I would guess that even if they’re not starving and have enough food, their idea of “enough” food for the day is far below ours.
I think of John P’s sermon about being “smart” in regards to beggars–knowing who’s really in need and who’s just trying to scam you. Sorry, don’t know a title off the top of my head.
Is Christ going to be so proud of us that we were smart enough not to get scammed? Or is He going to be pleased that we gave willingly and generously and were broken for these people?
This is all to say that we don’t have to flippantly throw out money to someone who we think might use it for less than honorable purposes–there are other ways to help. But still, who are we to decide who will or won’t *probably* use it improperly?
Sorry to get a little heated….but when we’re talking about CHILDREN in a country like Haiti…
Err on the safe side, please.
“When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap your field right up to its edge, neither shall you gather the gleanings after your harvest. And you shall not strip your vineyard bare, neither shall you gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard. You shall leave them for the poor and for the sojourner”
Kendra,
I assume Danielle and friend were in Haiti to serve these kids, so it’s not like they were simply avoiding having to help them.
My guess is they had to make a decision in the moment about what would be most helpful. Apparently, in at least one case, they decided giving money wasn’t the right choice.
That’s OK, don’t you think?
Coffee almost came out of my nose while reading this post this morning. Ok, outside of the “seriousness” and Biblical mandate of helping someone in need…. this is worth a giggle.
The fact that I can totally envision Mike doing that in Chicago, even makes it MORE hysterical.
Thanks for the laugh this morning, Abraham!
Yes, Abraham….that would be a whole ‘nother story. I don’t know the story, I was responding to the short sentence she left.
FWIW — My reaction was similar to Kendra’s to the whole idea. I think there’s a very dangerous line here. I know panhandlers lie. I know they’ve got con games. I know that’s not virtuous. I know I can’t go handing out a five spot to everyone who asks me for one.
But … wow. I don’t know. Enough said.
Abraham, Can I have $5 then?
Cara got here first and made my comment! :)
When we’re talking about children in W. Africa, often it’s not even about the money. It’s about making a relationship, a connection… and reversing it makes the same connection with some laughter as well.
I’m in South Africa. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t walk around here in Pretoria and get asked, “Hey boss….” and then I get a story about how someone needs money because their wife is pregnant in the broken down car across town (gotten this at least twice). I also got panhandled by the same college student with the same story in one weekend.
Christians are supposed to take care of the poor. No doubt. But is there ever a statement in the Bible about shelling out cash to strangers on the street? I haven’t found one yet. Give water, give food, give shelter, give medicine, give clothing, share a conversation. Do justice and love mercy, but don’t be foolish.
Thanks for the post Abraham. I laughed. I might try this tomorrow.
Nothing irks me more than hearing the standard, “My wife is pregnant at the hospital and I need bus fare” or “my car broke down and I need gas money” stories. C’mon panhandlers, come up with something original!
Two years of walking from S Mpls into the city for work made me pretty jaded.
I’m thinking it must be increasingly difficult to panhandle given that fewer and fewer people carry cash or coins.
Why are we so irritated by this?
Sure, be smart. Be wise. But for God’s sake … literally … each of these people bears the image likeness of God. What’s it hurt you that they lie to you everyday? Heck, I lie to myself every day.
And as one post recently reminded us: they are known by the Alpha and Omega, whose son, one might remember, did not come for the healthy but for the sick.
I’ve used a similar method in stores. If I just want to browse in peace and a clerk is heading toward me I ask them how I can help them. The look of shock is priceless.
@The Lord Your God
The use of your biblical reference is both manipulative and wrong.
The reference assumes that the individual is 1) in need 2) willing to work and 3) wants things necessary for sustainability.
With regards to panhandlers these things are almost never true.
Moreover, “if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either.” (2Thessalonians 3:10 NAS95S)
It is (almost) never smart or loving to offer someone money for their next joint, beer or hit. A more consistent biblical mandate is to love your neighbor. I isn’t loving to feed the very problems that entrap people. Money is rarely ever the problem.
A better solution is to offer someone work in exchange for a larger sum of money than what they would have received for doing nothing. When they refuse you’ll expose the heart.
Panhandlers aren’t naive to Christians’ eagerness to give out money. After all, do you really think they write “God Bless” on their cardboard signs out of piety?
i saw a fellow missionary here in west africa do the following: a man came to her door asking for clothes in order to find work. he was dressed poorly (had arrived from the village) and his story was credible. my friend had some of her husband’s clothes she was willing to give away. she told him she would give them to him under one condition. she would pray for him, asking the Lord to bless him and provide for him IF he was telling the truth. but if he was lying, she would pray that the Lord take away from him what little he had. she said she’s actually seen people refuse the offer and walk away – people believe in the the power of prayer and may mess with another white man, but not with God!. but those sincerely in need gladly accepted the prayer and the gift.
I try to carry around $1 McDonalds coupons or new socks or a granola bar when I go into the city. If someone asks me for money, I am prepared to give one of those items instead.
*sigh*… some of these posts… yikes… I think there are a few people on here that need to understand something, let me illustrate it with a personal story.
My former employer fired me when they found out I had stolen $6800 over the course of a few months to help fund a cocaine addiction. A senior manager told me, “If you had told us about this problem earlier, [the company] would have been more than happy to help. We could have worked something out and maybe paid for some treatment.” My point is, it was good that they fired me. It was good that they cut me loose. What did I do? I went home and drank for two weeks before getting a last chance scenario from my parents and checked into rehab.
God has drenched my life in Grace… I understand that… however, there is a Common Grace that is available to people via certain organizations and ministries in the Minneapolis area (I cannot speak for any other cities, for lack of knowledge).
Addiction is a downward spiral that tugs at about the same force of a black hole. Throwing your change at these people is more likely hurting than helping.
With all that said… I give them money about 50% of the time… that’s how the Spirit has lead me. I’ve been meaning to buy 50 or so dollars worth of fast food coupons, that way I could just give them a five dollar coupon to McDonalds so they could get a hot meal… but let me tell you something from being on the inside, they’re probably going to sell the $5 coupon to someone else for $4 cash. It doesn’t make sense to a non-addict but it’s more than logical to an addict.
It comes down to where your heart is at in each situation. Only you know and God knows what’s going on in your heart.
I don’t think sin comes into the interaction via the decision to give or not to give. I believe that it could be glorifying to God to give and also glorifying not to give. Sin manifests itself in the situation in your own heart. If you’re abiding in Him and He in you… you’ll be able to hear the Spirit more clearly… telling you what to do, case by case.
I don’t know if this made much sense but this is an issue that drives me crazy. I know this is a long post… one more story…
One time I gave a guy five bucks as I was heading into a bar. Less than an hour or so later I walked down the block to get some pizza. Same guy asks me for money. I said, “You don’t remember me? I gave you five bucks and I know that’s more than you usually get… and you don’t even remember me?” He apologized and then asked me for more money. I put my arm around him and told him that I didn’t think any amount of money could solve his problem. I told him, “Your problem is spiritual, not financial.” Then he started crying, right there on the street, I directed him to the nearest church and went on my way.
If you really want an interesting experience, tell them their problem is spiritual and direct them where they might find help.
This is great.
“Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
Luke 6:29
I don’t think asking someone for money first is the correct response. It seems unloving and selfish to me, done only to avoid an awkward situation, instead of addressing the person’s needs. There’s always something to give, even if it’s just time.
I love this suggestion!
Oops, sorry, I forgot what site I was on. I should have said:
Abraham, this is a very very bad thing to recommend. You should be ashamed of yourself. Jesus said to give all you have to the poor, and now you want people to ask the poor for money? For shame! Repent!
BTW, you can diffuse worse situations with techniques like this.
For instance, if someone threatens you, you can say something like: “Excuse me, but my fence is not 4 feet high.”
It creates cognitive dissonance and can break the person out of their aggression.
I still think “NO” is the most direct and honest response if I already know I’m not going to give them anything.
Playing any kind of angle can be a little dicey if you have no way of knowing what level of aggression they might be willing to use.
When we relocated here from Southern California in 1993, I was disturbed and surprised to observe that longtime/lifetime Minnesota residents are often completely clueless regarding potentially violent situations. So often they seem to proceed on the assumption that “as long as they mean well, everything will be ok.” Not true.
I read this earlier this morning and am now drawn to it again. All I know is that the whole idea is troubling to me. It doesn’t strike me as funny or clever, but rather a form of emotional ‘gotcha’. Not cool. A kind word just doesn’t seem too much to ask.
wow, people sure do get heated up. I read the entry as just a thought exercise, not something to actually do, and now scripture is being quoted all over the place. Hey, if you do do this, at least you’re interacting with the beggar. It’s okay to not give them money. It’s not okay to pretend they don’t exist.
I work for a gas station and i am going to use this one on the lot. thanks for this.