Comments on: How do you civilly respond to racist remarks?

By: Krista

Krista — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 03:17:03 +0000

I just let their comment clunk to the ground. Conversation is like tennis: you have to have a back-and-forth in order for it to work. If I refuse, suddenly, to keep playing the conversation game, then it’s awkward and uncomfortable for the one making the racist remark. Then they have to flounder around trying to get the conversation going again. Meanwhile, I didn’t say a word to reveal their foolish and sinful prejudice.

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:56:23 +0000

Well then, I think that 2 things were accomplished. You now understand a bit more about the depth of racism that exists with that person…and you know better how to pray for them.

I think a polite response with a stranger-customer may be something like, “Hmmm…I guess I see it differently than you do.” Then the conversation could possibly proceed with them asking you about your views and your constructive, hopeful words could win the day. Or at least provide food for thought?

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:57:31 +0000

@Jeanie – What if that HAS been your experience?

This is the conundrum of these types of conversations. Racism is usually regarded as being something that is cultivated from individual to individual. Well, it doesn’t only have to be learned from another person – it could have been something that has grown out of personal experience.

5 years ago I didn’t have a racist bone in my body. No one has taught me to be racists. Yet, I can also feel those feelings stirring up in my heart the more experiences I have. Sometimes the weight of personal evidence and experience makes it hard to argue the opposite.

How do you deal with these realities:

1) Racism is evil.
2) Most of my experiences with some groups of the population is overwhelmingly bad.
3) My brain works in categorizations, generalizations, etc.
4) Regard for individuals (and not merely groups) is important.

The post on Jumble is very sterile. How horrible that someone else’s thrift store got a bit messy!

I’d be more interested in hearing responses to the following scenario:

A group of people (including YOU) meet together on a Monday evening to discuss the recent increase in neighborhood gang related activity. Houses have been broken in to. Fences, garages and even people’s front doors and houses have been spray painted repeatedly. Rocks have been thrown through windows. Garden furniture, plants and landscaping have been destroyed or stolen. Some of your kids’ toys have been stolen. The block club meeting is upset. The trouble has been caused by the same group of people who all share the same race.

Then, a participant blusters on about ….

By: KP

KP — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:39:14 +0000

Huh. My experience recently is mostly with chamblee and Carissa.

One reason posted about this was that I got myself into trouble doing number three. I did ask–and opened the door right up to long, detailed, uncensored testimonials about the child-rearing non-habits, lack of hygiene, gibberish talk, and “taking-over-our-community-ness” of those people.

These were the facts as she saw them, and I was the only one with a sense of discomfort or shame about the conversation.

With a friend, I’d go there again. With a stranger-customer, nope.

Thanks for your input, all. It’s instructive and helpful.

Cheers, KP

By: Elizabeth Esther

Elizabeth Esther — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:06:15 +0000

I love idea #3! I think it’s important not to change the topic or shy away when it comes to confronting racism. MLK Jr. said “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Asking for clarification allows them to walk into their own trap. Watching them fumble around, trying to excuse their own remarks is polite enlightenment.

By: carissa

carissa — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:01:09 +0000

i like what people have said here and at the Jumble blog. i’m just going to point out that in some cases, a person from culture X might in fact be more likely to be freer/less tidy/however you want to look at it with perusing merchandise in a store, for example, than a person from culture Y. just like a person from culture Y is more prone to be early to an appointment than a person from culture X. we don’t want to deny legitimate, often obvious differences. i think we want to acknowledge differences while attributing it to different cultural values or priorities, and NOT make value judgments and rude remarks (like “clog up” and “destroy”), especially over a petty case like this. and the vast majority of the time, it is petty.

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:54:51 +0000

I’ve found that it actually is a good thing to gently ask for clarification in a very sincere way. If the situation won’t allow for discussion at the time, I have often asked to continue the conversation with the person privately. I think we can always respectfully challenge ignorance and if I’m not willing to enter into dialogue to address racism, then I guess then I too am part of the problem.

By: chamblee54

chamblee54 — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:46:25 +0000

Don’t use option 3 unless you want to listen to a long obnoxious speech. A lot of patience will be needed.

By: Chris

Chris — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:19:46 +0000

Perhaps when they don’t realize they are being racist?

When the comment is made by a young child, or just an obvlivious person who doesn’t realize the impact of what they’re saying…

Or when the person is confusing race with politics. P For example, people can get frustrated about all of the jobs going to this or that country and get angry with the people there for taking their jobs, when the real focus of their frustration should possibly be government and business leaders who have made choices for their own gain that have hurt working families here. Or even in that case, they should consider the fact that God is working in all things for our good–even in politics and business matters that seem to be hurting them.

By: Brent Hobbs

Brent Hobbs — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:12:24 +0000

I like idea #3. I have been put in this situation before and would love to hear some more ideas. I’m usually so taken aback by comments like that that I tend to get pretty much speechless.

By: Jeanie

Jeanie — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:49:58 +0000

I’d just steer the conversation in the other direction “Oh, that hasn’t been my experience at ALL!” And be all super positive about it…and then change the subject.

By: Jesus Bayona

Jesus Bayona — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:59:28 +0000

Ahhh, racism provides an opportunity to give God glory. The answer is to be content. “For the sake of Christ then I am content in weaknesses, insults, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

By: finitethis

finitethis — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:44:57 +0000

The best advice I’ve heard for when someone makes a comment evoking a racial stereotype: tell the person you didn’t understand their comment and ask them to explain what it means.

Not quite applicable to the situation at hand, hopefully helpful nonetheless.

By: Matthew Johnson

Matthew Johnson — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:34:26 +0000

I liked the first comment over there. Maybe add, “And they don’t smell like lutefisk.” :-)

By: Craig T. Owens

Craig T. Owens — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:04:13 +0000

I’m always intrigued by the paradoxical advice of Solomon on this topic… “Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are. Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools, or they will become wise in their own estimation” (Proverbs 26:4-5, NLT).

I’m still working on this one: so help me, God.