1. Understand the item’s value beforehand.

2. Gape at their price.

3. Lowball.

4. Hint that you want to buy, but your spouse won’t let you.

Update: $275!

* * * * *

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Last night Zach Nielsen tweeted,

One message and 45 minutes later they were at our kitchen table.

Twitter felt valuable right then.

* * * * *

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(1-4)

I don’t have money.
Can I still get on?
Just trying to syke you.
Move on back!

(5-9)

How tall are you?
5’11”
You should be a model.
You’re beautiful. Seriously.
Move on back!

(10-14)

He’s fine, too…Got the curls for the girls.
I’m diametrically opposed to that.
I’m going into academia.
I read math books all day.
Move on back!

(15-18)

My sister-in-law was a history major.
She’s unemployed.
Where are all these people going?
Move on back!

(19-22)

26th!
Excuse me…excuse me…excuse me.
Thanks for the ride.
Move on back!

* * * * *

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