Jul 30, 2010
Home security with an imaginary dog
Like this post?
I want to get beware-of-dog signs for my front and back gates. Only not ugly and utilitarian like this:
I want them to look nice—even cute—and to say,
Our dog is not friendly.
Trespass accordingly.
This is deceitful, yes, but strictly speaking, it’s 100% accurate. Our dog isn’t friendly because he doesn’t exist.
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You could just say “Beware of dogs”. Gives the impression that there are several to look out for, but also can just be the general warning that one should beware of dogs.
I believe the duty to protect your family trumps the duty to be truthful, so. . . go for it! :)
You should also put up a sign that says “BEWARE of LAND MINES and SHOTGUNS”
Sorry, Kendra, I can’t agree. A writer, of all people, could come up with a truthful sign that lacks nothing in defense of family. Our world lacks truthfulness and that’s a threat to Abraham’s family too. Mike’s suggestion fits the bill.
So…are you suggesting that being untruthful is wrong, but being deceitful is perfectly fine? But I am guessing that Abraham’s intent in this post was a little more light-hearted. And I love Zach’s suggestion. So post away, Abraham!
Surely the intent, rather than the wording is the issue with any discussion of lying. If you tell the police that you’ve not not robbed the leftorium and they miss your clever ploy and let you on your way, is that ok?
Mike’s suggestion is no better or worse than the original suggestion.
This reminds me of a good tip I heard one time, on how to install a redneck home security system:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: ‘Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls — they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.I don’t think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. PS – I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside.’
5. INSTALLATION COMPLETE!
Not sure if that’d work in Minnesota..
In Russia dog bewares of you!!…
In a Grove City, Pennsylvania cemetery there is a sign that reads “Patrolled by Inferred Cameras.” Really. You could do that.
I have a friend that was a thief in his pre-saved days. He was never concerned about “beware of dog” signs on houses, but he would never even consider burglarizing houses with the “forget dog, beware of owner!” signs: he knows that owners of firearms are serious about protecting their families!
In one of my criminal justice classes, the teacher told us a burglar could actually sue you and win if you had one of these signs and he/she was bitten while robbing you. Basically, you are admitting (I guess, falsely, in this case)you have a dangerous animal and are doing nothing to control it. To avoid the possibility of a lawsuit, try ‘Dog on Premises’.
we do have a beware of dog sticker on the top of the gate.
I know. But it’s too normal. Easy to ignore…
Could we use bears instead? They don’t have to know they stuffed.
LOL- I cannot stop laughing at this post! I need to come by here more often! ROFL- still.