Dec 10, 2010
How to Speak Christianese
This video just really spoke to my need for growth in several areas of linguistic struggle…
But, seriously, folks. Some of you are actually like this and you have no idea that the rest of us are laughing at you.
* * * * *
Guilty, guilty, guilty. I often reflect on conversations and wonder if people think I’m Christian enough by the use of my terminology.
Yeah, I’ve been to a number of churches where they spoke nothing but Christianese. I still don’t know what “praying in the spirit” means!
Based on the fact that she had a ziploc bag of Cheetos labeled with a magic marker (when everyone knows what Cheetos look like), I suspect the film’s producers are actually suggesting that these ways of expressing oneself are actually not all that difficult to understand.
Deep.
Probably too deep…but deep.
http://twentytwowords.com/2010/12/06/thats-what-she-said-the-book/
“Learn why other Christians do such things as…refuse to laugh” HAHAHAHA
Christianese “favorite” that makes me cringe: “I COVET your prayers.” That doesn’t even make sense. Why not just say, “I need prayer for ____________”.
This is also my favorite! It implies, “I need your prayers so bad I’m willing to SIN to get them.” haha
Oh, I hate that phrase about “coveting prayers” (no offense intended to anyone here who says it) Sometimes I think it’s better to say things in a simpler way, like “Please pray for me.”
The above post was mine, and I just realized there are a few other Lauras here. Whoops. (Or to get us back on topic: I just feel convicted in my spirit about having taken the name of other Christian sisters in vain. *lol*)
The only thing that wouldn have made this funnier is if they’d begun every sentence with the word, “friend.”
I love that they threw in a “narthex” at the end.
What’s narthex?
Guess you’ll have to purchase the tapes to find out!
The narthex is kind like…the front hall area. You can hang your coats there, find general information, there are usually greeters there to help you find where you’re supposed to be. Most of the time there are also doors that go into the sanctuary. ;)
I used to think that word was “northex” and meant the north end of the building!
I love the use of the scripture verse. Genius.
Shout offerings!? Oh I thought I was the only one who grew up with that.
It’s funny because it’s sold as cassette tapes.
It cracks me up when someone goes from speaking in modern-day English to praying in King James Old English. As if God only understands you when you use “Thee,” “Thou,” and end every other word in “-eth.”
I always called those King James prayers.
And by the way what are ‘traveling mercies’? Did Paul and Barnabas pray for those some where and I missed it?
Why do we only pray to bless the hands that prepared the meals? What about the rest of the person?
And what about the hands that clean it up?
And what about praying for a hedge of protection? The imagery is really something.
I never felt that protected by hedges.
I totally forgot about the hedge of protection! An old new world has been opened to me again… and it’s so scary I think I need a hedge.
Seriously, what’s wrong with a big fat brick wall? Or what about guard dogs or snipers or at least something formidable?? A hedge can be taken out by a good pair of garden shears.
See Job 1:10
seriously though, at least we think BIG enough of God to ask him to use the fried chicken to the nourishment of our bodies. He’s a God who works miracles, brothers! AMEN? …
Who needs real miracles when you’ve got fried chicken?!
you’d need a miracle for fried chicken to do your body any good lol
Not sure which this is, edification, encouragement or comfort. But, it really ministers to my heart.
Amen brother. Your commented ministered to me. I’m so thankful for you.
So… what has God been teaching you lately in His Word?
I think a lot of it has to do with insecurity. That deep fear of being a part of a group of people and not knowing what the heck you are talking about. So some people fake it in hopes that they can cover up the fact that they don’t know what they are doing. But usually, it just sounds like someone speaking Christianese in circles.
I have an unspoken.
hahahaha
I just prayer-journalled about it for you.
I always was confused by the unspoken prayer request. Does anybody ever pray for those?
The cassette tapes are hilarious.
I have a praise!
“Their language, it was new to me
Then Christianese got through to me
Now I can speak it fluently
I want to be a clone.” – Steve Taylor
Cloneliness is next to Godliness, right?
“I’m glad that they got throught to me, Christianese was new to me, now I can speak it fluently!”
Amen friend, I feel so convicted. God’s really laying it on my heart to tell you what a blessing you are. (Mmm-hmm-hmm.)
Now if I can just stop saying “I struggle with dishonesty” instead of “I’m a liar”.
I am little disappointed that they left out 2 key elements of Christianese prayer language:
1) using the word “just” in every sentence, as in “I just want to pray for Debbie. She’s just a wonderful saint who just loves you, Lord. . .”
2) using the words “Lord”, “Jesus”, or “God” at least every other sentence in case God forgets that we are, in fact, sending this prayer his way.
These two are ridiculously common, often unnoticed, and quite unnecessary.
Oh gosh, I do this, and I even irritate myself. But I can’t seem to stop.
You’re absolutely right about “just”. I’ve been actively trying to eradicate the word from my lexicon.
I also noticed the absence of these very key elements.
grr the overuse of the word JUST is one of my pet peeves! But, you can’t criticize how other people pray lol
I’m surprised the acronym PTL (Praise the Lord!) wasn’t included.
Ooooh yes.. if you’re going to say Praise the Lord, do you not have the extra half second to type it out completely? I think some things should not be abbreviated. Such as ptL ….or Lw (Lord willing). I’ll see you tomorrow, Lw!!
I have “struggled with” feeling irritable towards excessive use of Christanese. At times it makes me question my salvation because I don’t talk that way. (i.e. is there something I’m missing?) I think we can speak in phrases found in scripture, like praying the psalms or praying God’s word back to Him, so there is SOME form of “Christian-ese”, but I do wonder why we feel the need to keep perpetuating the phrases. “Someone just needs to ~come alongside~ her”. I always picture a walking side-hug.
I thought that meant pass the loot.
Let’s just love on these people.
That always makes me picture a big, fluffy dog leaping on someone and love-attacking them with lots of slobbery kisses.
At least that’s a clean version. Other people I know think it’s something else…
Big time, Nate. You hit my #1.
1) “lovin on” someone. Lovin-on, with capital city Beirut.
2) “life on life” ministry
I do like using ‘led by the Spirit’ for confrontation though:
“I just really feel led by the Spirit to say that was a real jackass move you pulled, just now.”
AUGH NO!!! Love-on is the most aggravating of them all. I wasn’t aware that love needed to be applied to someone, like some creepy sunscreen or something.
I can see the love of Jesus dripping from your comment!
This is maybe one of the best things I’ve ever seen.
Shut up, Abraham! :)
I just love that it’s a “tape series.”
What a blessing. I can’t believe I’ve ignored this sin for so long… God is so gracious.
;P
So I grew up in several churches where many of these words were used, and I agree that at times it’s easy to adopt cliches meaninglessly. Of course, every group (work, government, sports, musicians) adopt their own jargon – that’s not too surprising. But the thing that strikes me is that people in the church who speak “Christianese” generally were very serious about their relationship with Christ, about knowing His word, and about applying it in all aspects of life. So it’s somewhat troubling that this production goes to such lengths to make fun of them.
I realize that this video may be so “over the top” that it’s just for fun and not vindictive – if so, I stand corrected. However, I find it ironic to note that we have trouble with people who are sincerely pursuing their faith in all aspects of their lives such that it affects their vocabulary, yet we have no concerns with many others embracing the world culture who seem to have adopted its vocabulary (including profanity), tastes (including entertainment glorifying what the Bible labels sin), interests, and reasoning, yet seem relatively ignorant of bringing every aspect of life into submission to Christ. I just wonder which is more of a real issue?
As I commented when I first saw this on YouTube: “Uh-huh” is considered Christianese? Why? Everyone says “uh-huh”…don’t they? (At this point, you’re all supposed to reply, “Uh-huh.”) ;D
I always hate it when someone says we need to be Jesus with skin on. Didn’t Jesus have skin?