Professor lists all the excuses he will not accept

(via Reddit)

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Category: Funny, z - Featured

35 Responses

  1. nfn says:

    dating a kardashian should be valid.

    • sariemc says:

      dating a kardashian should be reason for exclusion from college

      • jay says:

        nobody with more than a high school education would date a kardashian.

        • kp says:

          Unless someone is paid Kardashian dollars for dating a Kardashian, it makes no sense to pin ones financial future on it.

      • Anna says:

        It would only last 73 days, and then you would be back out on the streets.

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  2. Jeff says:

    “paralysis of analysis”

    This professor is my hero

  3. Carr says:

    Note that the Spanish Inquisition was not listed. The professor was wise enough to know that nobody anticipates the Spanish Inquisition.

  4. All that work and the prof messed up.

    How can one anticipate an unanticipated appearance on Maury Povich?

    But I’d go with the spanish inquisition as commented by Carr. That was brilliant.

  5. Rob says:

    spelled beiber wrong

    • Josiah says:

      I think that that fact reflects well on the prof.

    • Carr says:

      I can’t believe I just looked that up. It’s Bieber. Now to wash my eyes out.

      http://www.justbie.com/justin-beiber-or-justin-bieber-which-one-is-correct/1336/

      • deb says:

        of course it’s “Bieber” – the ie/ei thing is simple – you say the name of the latter letter. ie = eeee and ei = eye. excepting exceptions. and there’s nothing exceptional about master Bieber, so ….

        • serendipity says:

          Names don’t follow spelling or pronunciation rules. Even if they did, you’d be wrong. “When two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking.”

          • Sal says:

            This pronunciation rule is from the German language, not the English language and the Germans follow their rules. The name Bieber is German and he is Canadian; they tend to follow the pronunciation rules of the language of origin, unlike Americans, who turn every name into the simplest pronunciation of whatever combination of letters meets their eye.

          • calilac says:

            I had to use the rhyme to remember that horrible rule.
            “I” before “e”
            Except after “c”,
            Unless it sounds like “ay”
            As in “neighbor” or “weigh”.

  6. Buno says:

    These all belong to stresses!!!!
    Certainly need attention and help, Professor we are all human.
    Do you remember you had that stresses when you were at that age?
    We need empathy and sympathy and kindness coz we are growing, developing and we are shaping by this educational restraints.
    I believe knowledge can be express in different forms not only in essay.
    Do you agree?

    • Francesca says:

      Hey – “the paralysis of analysis” really WAS the reason so many of my papers were late. And I DID start them early!

      As many other noted, best props go to whoever realized you’d never predict having to endure “THE COMFY CHAIR!!” Maybe *A* comfy chair in front of the TV is the reason so many papers are late, but you can bet I highly doubt it was by command of the dastardly hilarious Cardinal Richelieu.

      Buno, you’re either failing at being funny like Kaufman sometimes pulled off or really don’t get the joke. Sorry, pal -it’s “The Comfy Chair” for you!

      Rob, that was a cruelly irresponsible joke – making Carr look up “Bieber” that way! Carr – I can’t believe you gave the rest of us the website to look that up on – someone might go as far as to poke out their eyes out if they try to follow in your footsteps!

      As a T.A. I think I’d be lenient on the whole Kardashian thing too. I’d see that as MOTIVATION to spend as long a time buried in that essay as possible.

      What I wouldn’t allow is “getting caught up in the gripping coverage of the race for the Republican nomination” though I’d still give partial marks for “missing a nuclear strike by North Korea/ Iran/ Anybody Else because you weren’t closely reading the little news ticker at the bottom of CNN the day Whitney Houston died”.

      Sorry Whitney.

    • aihley says:

      He’s your prof, not your mom and certainly not your psychologist. Go get help if you need it so badly.

  7. Sarah says:

    That was amazing!

  8. John says:

    This is particularly relevant. I will start getting started on not procrastinating gaetting started on my essay started…SOON!

  9. serendipity says:

    “loss of hope in your audacity” (love)

  10. brand says:

    Th is is fascinating. Appears to be like some ripped graphics from the W isconsin logo.

  11. Kayla Gibbs says:

    That’s so messed up, I ended up on bedrest for 2 months on OxyContin because I had a bad reaction to a medicine and had a seizure breaking my shoulder in the process which they had to implant 5 lbs of metal to fix it which meant I had to learn to walk straight again and carry things on my shoulder. I agree with a lot of what he said but there are times when ppl need to withdrawal from classes or get extensions and the American disability administration backs us up on that. Not to mention he doesn’t accept an act of god or terrorist attack? I think having your legs blown off by the Boston bomber would warrant an extension on your homework. According to this guy there is no excuse to be in the hospital for months at a time??!! That makes no sense. Thank god we are protected by the disability departments at our colleges.

  12. Kayla Gibbs says:

    Think before you speak teachers, a terrorist attack is no joke and not something you can prepare for. Anyone who disagrees is an idiot and should speak to the survivors of the Boston marathon or 9/11. This pisses me off to no end.

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