t all started with a question about a snail.
The story you are about to read is almost like "Romeo and Juliet," except... well, it involves snails.
And when we said that it is almost like “Romeo and Juliet,” we meant that it literally has none of the plot points of “Romeo and Juliet” but all of the tragic dramatic emotion.
Meet your protagonist, Reddit user "possible spatula."
She posted a conversation that she had with one of her Tinder matches. The conversation has now gone viral. But at the time she posted the story, it was a much more melancholy situation.
Walker, her Tinder match, sent her this question.
He wrote, “You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What’s your plan?”
Our protagonist sent back a very detailed response.
She said, “First I move to Hawaii. Let’s say snails move on average 0.03 mph. To move 1 mile, it takes him 33.3 hours. I’d move to Maui, which is 3,815 miles away. He would have to travel for 127,167 hours to reach me, or about 14.5 years. 7 Years after moving to Maui, I would move to Rome to ensure that he’d either have to travel the entire Pacific Ocean or turn around and travel back through the Panama Canal. I would continue calculating how long it takes him to get halfway to where I move to, then I switch continents at the halfway point. This also prevents people from noticing me not aging or getting sick.”
Our protagonist continued, "Additionally, immediately invest 1/4 of the money, put 1/2 in savings/safe bonds with high interest rates, and use 1/4 to live of initially, thereafter living off dividends of my investments."
But then things took a turn for the worse. Her Tinder match unmatched her after her very detailed answer to his question.
She said, “He unmatched me after this. I was trying to be thorough????????”
However, their story was far from over.