That Arie, he's a serious napper. And I fully support this.
How much do I love naps? Let’s just say that if it came down to a date with Jude Law (in full Young Pope gear — because yes, I’m oddly attracted to that getup) in exchange for NEVER taking another nap again — I’d have to cry Jude-less into my pillow. As I head straight into my second nap of the day.
Arie doesn't just play a rugged man on the racetrack. He plays one on scenic mountaintops too, guys!
Some might think Arie scores hotness points whenever he poses atop a rugged and slightly dangerous looking vehicle. But me? I must be missing those particular hot-guy-goggles. (What gives?! Do I need an intervention? Or hormone pellets?)
When I see this photo, my first thought is to wonder if the hair and makeup techs are out of frame, or if they’ve just thrown themselves off the damn cliff already. Death by cheesiness.
Arie likes pizza! And ironic statement t-shirts! And sunglasses selfies! This, my friends, is a problem.
Why is this a problem? Because every girl on Instagram trying to promote her “fun” and “quirky” side likes these things too. Including me. Now I’m officially repulsed by myself too. GREAT! #ThanksArie
But an ugly Christmas sweater is A-okay in my book!
Ugly Christmas sweaters with friends = cool. Using what suspiciously appears to be a selfie stick though? Well, that’s a different story. It’s okay, Arie. Imma give you a pass on this one, bro. You do you, boo. Happy belated holidays!
But the real reason I haven't gotten on the Arie bandwagon yet is this: HE KISSES ANYTHING THAT MOVES.
I’ve seen more of Arie’s tongue in the past two weeks than I see of my dog’s when he’s straight up licking my face at 6am. This is not endearing me to The Bachelor in his “deep search for love.”
Maybe production is to blame for the closeups of Arie’s incessant face-sucking? Maybe the women are SO irresistible that his instant “connection with their souls” unleashes the slobbering freshmen within?
Whatever the case may be, Arie needs to holster that thing back inside his jaw if he wants to be taken seriously. And if he doesn’t want to get strep. This is flu season, people.