Kim Kardashian's perfume may have been inspired by her Paris robbery, but after reports of her day one profits, the whole thing is smelling like highway robbery to us. Then again, we definitely didn't realize how many people were willing and ready to shell out $35 and $60 a pop for a faux-crystal bottle filled with fragrances they haven't even smelled yet. The Kardashian effect, we guess? Anyhoo, here's how it all went down.
Last year, Kim got robbed in Paris.
It was a terrible, terrible event that left Kim extremely scared. She retreated from social media, stopped going to appearances, and stopped the filming of her show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
To cheer her up, her friends sent her healing crystals.
You know, the very Hollywood-shi-shi practice of using crystals to “open up your channels.” (Honestly, we don’t know why we just put “open up your channels” in quotation marks but it seemed like the thing to do.)
Apparently, all this crystal healing healed Kim K. (Or maybe it was the fact that she was losing $1 million in revenue PER MONTH from not going to appearances and such)
Nevertheless, Kim emerged from her fear like a butterfly emerges from its cocoon, fresh with a new idea – why not do a new perfume in the shape of a crystal?
Also, it may have been the fact that her little sister Kylie made $420 million in EIGHTEEN MONTHS selling lip kits – LIP KITS!!! – but nevertheless, Kim was determined to share her healing with the world.
So she made a limited edition trio of perfumes – Crystal Gardenia, Crystal Gardenia Oud and Crystal Gardenia Citrus – which she would sell only 300,000 bottles of, as part of her new KKW Beauty Brand.
Each perfume comes in a thin geometric bottle that looks very much like a crystal.
As to the smell of the fragrances, no one knows, but Kim K fans are going to have to trust that their goddess has excellent olfactory sensibilities. (We’ve always wanted to casually drop that phrase – “olfactory sensibilities”)
So… just how much did Kim’s fans drop on her perfume trio the very first day?
That's right, Kim K stans everywhere dropped a whopping TEN MILLION DOLLARS on a perfume they've never even smelled in ONE DAY. In fact, they made ONE MILLION in the first hour of sales.
The fragrances are actually on track to sell out by Thursday, so rush out and order it, if you haven’t already…
Or, you know, just wait and buy a perfume you actually like, because you’ve actually smelled it.
Either way, this definitively proves one thing.
Kim K is still and will always be the reigning queen of the Kardashian brand-empire-monotholith-dark-Sith-Lord-dynasty.