We’ve all been there: Your best friend calls you up, all excited — and you know it’s a big deal, because who actually talks on the phone anymore? They tell you that they’ve met someone really special, and they want you to meet them.
The next thing you know, they’re always together, even when you’re supposed to be hanging out one-on-one for some bestie time.
So what can you do? Well, one guy seems to have decided that he’s better off embracing his role as a third wheel…
Meet Peter Alden, a 29-year-old single guy who lives in New York City (that’s him in the ocean).
Dating is hard. Theoretically online dating should make things easier (you don’t even have to leave the house to try and find a date) but in reality, not so much. It’s shocking, but people can actually exaggerate their profiles online. I know. Outrageous.
That’s where Tinder comes in. If you’re not familiar, the app forces users to make impulse decisions based on physical appearances to engage in a conversation. If you like what you see and read, you swipe right to chat. If you don’t like what you see, swipe left.
Easy enough and, after all, what quality relationship doesn’t start with physical appearances and phones?
I don’t think I’ve ever experienced having to sit on hold with customer service and having patience at the same time. I understand it’s a very difficult job and they deal with a bunch of, shall we say, “difficult” people, but see previous sentence. People don’t generally call them because they’re so happy.
With that said, there is a parody Facebook customer service page — WeHopeThatHelps.com — that responds to customer complaints on brand pages. Even though they don’t represent the company getting complaints, their comments are rarely deleted.
The only explanation is that they’re hilarious and they’re also saying what real customer service people wish they could say but that they can’t because it wouldn’t be professional.
And let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to say this?
For those of you who are unfamiliar with “Siri,” it’s basically a virtual personal assistant that resides on an iPhone. Siri responds to the words you speak rather than requests you type, so just as you can talk to your iPhone to perform a range of tasks (employing speech-to-text translation), you can also hear Siri’s human-like voice talk back at you (text-to-speech technology).
And while things are getting more advanced, it also appears that they might be getting a little bit more sarcastic.
People recently went crazy when they found out asking Siri, “What is 0 ÷ 0?” resulted in, “Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends.”
With that said, here are more of Siri’s best replies.