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Childbirth or a kick to the testicles — A scientific look at which hurts more

Apr 29, 2013 By Abraham


  1. Commenter says:

    I love the “differences”.
    “One results in a newborn baby and the other possibly results in a decreased chance of having one.”
    Nice job!

  2. brooke says:

    lol … oh heavens … let’s see, one causes pain for, what, a couple minutes? The other lasts hours?

    :) I think the girls win.

  3. Deson says:

    Subjective or not – despite the stories (and experience) of hour long labour and the huge amount of pain it causes; a large majority of women will consider having a second [or more] child and going through the process again.

    No man will ever choose to get kicked in the balls again


    1. Beth says:

      Haha, that’s because those women have seen the end result of pregnancy and labor. I’m coming up to my fourth labor, and meeting my daughter will be worth whatever misery I have gone through this pregnancy (I HATE being pregnant) or any pain I may go through while giving birth.

      Getting kicked in the balls doesn’t result in a human life. It’s just pain with no purpose.

    2. Ribva says:

      Eh, believe me, most women straight off the labour ward say ‘NEVER AGAIN!’ LOL it’s only after a couple of years when the memory isn’t as strong that they go back to craving more kids. And it’s like Beth said – women don’t go through labour for the fun of it (except special cases, but then masochists aren’t unique to women) but because it gives them something wonderful and life-changing at the end of it. Many aren’t comfortable with C-sections or the risks of epidurals, or choose to do it naturally because it’s something they want to experience because historically it’s seen as a rite of passage and life experience. In a way that being kicked in the balls isn’t. Though maybe if it wasn’t something most boys were subjected to at school, it might have become one, who knows? I’m trying to say that comparing them whilst ignoring their contexts is not a logical argument for how painful they are.

      Also, birth isn’t always a happy time. I honestly cannot imagine the depth of pain for a woman who is miscarrying or having a stillborn baby – there must be few experiences more traumatising than birth gone wrong. :(

      Given what pain people inflict on themselves for boredom or entertainment (think Jackass), if there was actual benefit involved, I’m pretty sure plenty of guys would do it again.

      I think the two are probably equivalent in pain (as might be gallstone colic and kidney stones, heart attacks and dying of metastatic cancer can also come very close – turns out, there are lots of ways your body can be excruciatingly painful), but when we compare them both as physical experiences I think labour has the upper hand because it goes on for MUCH longer. It may be voluntarily entered into, but if you start both at the same time, 12 hours later when a kick in the balls is long forgotten, you might still be in labour.

  4. Mitch says:

    I’ll bet if women could choose 8 hours of labor vs a “kicked in the balls” experience, they’d go for the kick 100% of the time.

    1. Damaia says:

      Only if the “kicked in the balls” experience resulted in a child. To be fair…the agony of a particularly hard kick can last for days…but women also usually have to recover a minimum of six weeks before they can consider intimate activities again. Again, I’d have to say its pretty much a tie.

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