Before you head to the beach, it's important to make sure you have all the essentials. You need a beach towel. You need a swimsuit. You need sunscreen. And now, you apparently also need jewelry that hangs from your crotch.
We all know that the bikini has been around for awhile.
The two-piece swimsuit, also known as the “bikini,” first came on the scene in 1946. It’s been popular ever since, but we can all agree that something’s been missing, right?
Something that takes the bikini from blah to totally blingin’.
Enter: this fancy piece of hardware.
Finally! The Japanese company BoDivas has solved the issue by creating jewelry for crotches.
The idea is that the larger chain goes inside your bikini bottom so that the sparkly gems dangle between your legs. Because that’s something that everyone wants, right?
Here's a handy graphic so you can imagine exactly what it's supposed to look like.
It’s called a Beachtail, and as the company’s Instagram post is kind enough to point out, it’s perfect for both the beach and the bedroom.
Let’s just get this straight. It’s jewelry. For your crotch. And it’s called a “Beachtail.”
What a world.
That's going to be a "nope" from us.
Of all the things that don’t need to exist, crotch jewelry is definitely near the top of the list.
How did we get here, humanity? Where have we gone astray?