In times of struggle and confusion, we can always hold one truth to be self evident: Bravo’s ex-Real Housewives are desperate to get back on the show that made them (semi) famous. Here’s a list of the top ten Bravolebrities who would sell a kidney to collect a full time reality TV paycheck again.
Jill Zarin: The ultimate scorned Housewife.
via: Getty Images
This is a tough one, but hear me out. Jill Zarin suffered the tragic loss of her husband, Bobby Zarin, just last week when he lost his battle with cancer at 71 years of age. Then she used his funeral as a Bravo filming opportunity. Yikes.
An original cast member of The Real Housewives of New York, Jill held the top spot among the cast of NY socialites for those early golden years of Housewives. Indeed, RHONY enjoyed its highest ratings during the seasons in which Jill appeared. But when her best friend (and struggling entrepreneur at the time) Bethenny Frankel started pulling ahead of Jill in viewer love, Jill got royally pissed.
Bethenny even alleged that Jill forbid other cast members from filming with her, which led to a spinoff for Bethenny – and a swift Buh-bye! to Jill on the show. Since then, Jill has been ranting, raving, scrambling, and scraping for her spot back in the limelight. She even invited Bravo cameras to film her public “making amends” scene with Bethenny at Bobby’s funeral this week. Claiming that Bobby would have wanted it that way, Jill has ignored the public outcry about this very controversial move. Was it a true reconciliation? Or was it just Jill’s thirstiest grab for a spot back on Housewives yet?
Gretchen Rossi: To quote NeNe Leakes, the thirst is REAL.
After Gretchen was given the boot from The Real Housewives of Orange County, she has been clawing her way back into the franchise by any means necessary – even showing up for a cameo last season to spread nasty rumors about her arch nemesis, Tamra Judge.
Now Gretchen is insinuating herself into photos like this one, which feature the rumored NEW OC Housewives who have been cast for next season. Will Gretchen join them? Oh, sweet Jesus. She sure hopes so. But remember: She comes as a package deal with Slade Smiley, so grab your anti-nausea pills, people.
Peggy Sulahian & Lydia McLaughlin: Ex-Housewives who like to play pretend.
Speaking of RHOC casting rumors, these two axed-Housewives made headlines recently when they posted this coy pic with the hashtags #killerseason13? #rhoc #watchout
Um. You be fired, ladies. We know it. You know it. My husband, who doesn’t even watch these damn shows, knows it. So please stop reaching for the shady spotlight. It’s moved on to orange-r pastures. Like Gretchen and her friends.
Kim Zolciak-Biermann: She’s mad as hell and she’s not gonna take it anymore!
Kim is back on The Real Housewives of Atlanta this season, and she’s coming in hot and ready like a $9.99 pizza. With a wig. Since her “friend of” the Housewives status doesn’t grant her a full time paycheck, Kim figures it’s time to start the drama – with literally everyone.
Evidence: She’s accusing Kenya Moore of having a fake husband, NeNe Leakes of being a drug addict, and Kandi Burruss of being a swinger who wanted to “lick her box” back in the day. Yup. Kim’s Don’t Be Tardy spinoff has been seeing declining ratings in the past year, so it’s no wonder the ex-full time Housewife is throwing nuclear bombs in every direction, hoping it scores her a peach. Even if it’s a rotten peach.
Phaedra Parks: Shady is as Shady does.
Oh, Shade-dra. How I miss your trifling ways on The Real Housewives of Atlanta! After accusing Kandi Burruss of rape last season (!!!), Phaedra tried to play victim by blaming it on rumors started by production. But Bravo was not having it. No, Sir-ree. They fired her, and she’s back to selling flat tummy tea on Instagram. Oh – and being a lawyer! Allegedly.
Rumor is that Phaedra may appear in a cameo this season to apologize to Porsha Williams for involving her in the mess. No doubt she wants back on the show in a bad way too. According to sources, it ain’t never gonna happen. In the timeless words of our girl Sheree Whitfield, Hell to the nah nah nah nah nah.