o you remember Harry Potter? Those little novels about the bespectacled boy wizard who fought that big scary snake man monster? Broomsticks? Wands? Spells? Chocolate frogs? Heard of those books?
Of course you have. Everyone has. Harry Potter was a staple of all our childhoods and admittedly many of our adulthoods.
Well, Shelley Zhang's friend somehow missed the boat. He recently decided to join society and read the Harry Potter series for the first time. Or so he thought. He was actually unknowingly reading some pretty ridiculous HP fanfiction instead. Honestly, at this point, if you haven't read Harry Potter, you deserve to get fooled by fanfic.
Hop aboard the Hogwarts Express because this guy's texts with Shelley are chock full of funny.
"Friend is reading Harry Potter for the first time," Zhang's history-making tweet begins.
“He suddenly realizes he’s read a fanfiction Order of the Phoenix instead of the real one.”
Oh, this is going to be golden. Like snitch level golden.
The poor guy accidentally read a fan fiction version of book five. In it, Dudley commits suicide.
And don’t worry. This is just the first of many, many, many egregious changes to Harry Potter canon this fanfic author made, and similarly, just the first of many many false plot points this guy totally fell for.
He actually thinks Shelley is trolling him at first. Little does he know he's reading some of the most bizarre HP fanfic out there.
“Uh, I don’t know what you’re reading but it’s not the order of the phoenix” is not what you want to hear when you’ve just finished a 500+ page book about teenage wizards.
This guy fell victim to one very sly troll.
It seems like every book in the series he read was real except for the fifth one.
And the fifth one, as we’ll come to find out, was as fake as Donald Trump’s spray tan.
Yes, Harry Potter got "more mature and dark as it went on," but it never crossed the line into straight up wizard sex.
Somehow, some way, a fake rape scene is not the strangest part of the fake Order of the Phoenix.
It only gets crazier from here.