In a year marked by everything being pretty flippin' terrible, last night was a total triumph. Doug Jones beat child molester Roy Moore in the run for the Alabama Senate seat and a flicker of hope renewed the hearts of many of us watching the results and fearing for the country. Thank you, Alabama! Thank you for making the right choice and saving us from having (another) sexual predator in office.
It was a close race, but Doug Jones eked out a win for the Alabama Senate.
…And for the rest of the country.
It’s good to live in a country that didn’t elect a child molester to the Senate, right? Here are some of the best reactions to last night’s election:
Before the results finally rolled in, people were on the edge of their seats.
Which is pretty nuts when you think about it. We were so close to having an actual child molester in the actual U.S. Senate! Things are already pretty bad, but that would have been unconscionably bad!
Comedian Bess Kalb warned Roy Moore what would happen if he won:
And it does not sound too pleasant for ol’ Roy, not least of all because banshees are usually above the age of consent in Alabama.
Some people (not from Alabama) commented on the fact that Alabama had never seemed quite so relevant in their personal lives.
But after the year we’ve had, we were all ready for a win. It was a stressful night watching the results pour in and desperately wishing that the world wouldn’t spontaneously combust.
And then, IT HAPPENED! Roy Moore lost and Doug Jones won!
We’d be remiss if we didn’t point out that last night was actually the first night of Chanukah, so it was actually probably a Chanukah miracle. That being said, we’ll take literally any kind of miracle at this point.
Colbert wasn’t the only late-night host with a great response to the election…