At my friend's church, the church cat has evicted the baby Jesus from the manger #JoyToTheWorld
This Christmas grinch needs no introduction – you already know the type. There he is, patrolling the cathedral pews, ensuring that naughty children are properly genuflecting, and trying his best to make sure the holy water is up to snuff (no tap water on his watch, in this church, it’s the blessed Evian or nothing).
And this whole phony Baby Jesus statue – definitely not good enough to adorn the cradle of his church, no sir. He requires a pure alabaster statue, carved in the forges of Mount Vesuvius and serenaded by a heavenly choir. He requires a–
Nap time! And yes, this cradle looks very comfortable indeed.
Off you go, Baby Jesus. Better luck next time.
And then the little baby Jesus was carried off by the Catosaurus. The end.
What’s this?! A veritable specter of horror peeking into the holy stable!
“I’ll save you,” cries brave Joseph, stepping up to the plate. “All I have is my rod and my staff, but it’s more than enough to battle you, you fiendishly feline foe!”
And then the Catosaurus snapped its big snappy jaws, and Joseph was never heard from again.
Feral cat manger
Dear friends, you may not recognize this, but Christmastime is actually a period of great horror, and *gasp* bodysnatching. Look at this picture. Look at it closely. Notice anything?