Cut to the two on one date, where the epic battle of good and evil would take place.
Krystal was ready for battle, practically cackling like Maleficent in Kendall’s face while reading the date card. She was born for this royal competition, you unwashed hordes!
Krystal also thinks she’s “wife material,” and by that she means, “future Dateline material” on wives who murder.
Because she had already blown her chances with Arie in Ft. Lauderdale, Krystal focused on taking down her enemy.
After telling Arie that Kendall just “wasn’t ready for love,” Krystal slinked back to join her nemesis, asking Kendall directly, “Why are you here?”
In some kind of reverse psychology or secret taxidermy voodoo move, Kendall used this opportunity to tell Krystal she had “deep empathy” for her because she is a person who struggles. With literally everyone on the planet.
Instead of punching Kendall in the throat, Krystal just croaked, “I have no words” while she sipped her wine and realized the masterful move being played on her.
In the end, Arie dumped Krystal, proving that sometimes good girls do win!
As they saw Krystal’s luggage being wheeled out of the hotel, the group rejoiced. On their date, Arie and Kendall clinked glasses and breathed a long overdue sigh of relief. The entire internet melted down in one long thankyoubabyjesus! tweet.
It was finished. The only thing left to do was send Arie off on his one on one date with Jacqueline. (And fit Krystal for a straight jacket that matches her yoga pants.)
Jacqueline is too smart for Arie, but he'd like her intelligence to rub off on him. So she stays.
Jacqueline (much like Lauren) finally showed up for the first time this week as a three-dimensional person, complete with plans of earning a 6-year degree in a PhD program.
Arie practically wet himself when she talked about pursuing a formal education that goes about 13 years beyond his, but he gave her the rose anyway. Because, gosh darn it! She’s nice.
It's nearly-mute Lauren who changed the game for everyone though.
Despite her late entry into the competition, Arie’s chemistry with Lauren is undeniable. He likes the thrill of the chase, and this girl is gonna make him work for it.
Arie’s finally moving past the 22-year old nannies and Krazy Koach Krystals, ready to lock down a girl he can actually take back to Scottsdale. You know – one who probably likes cardigans and warm milk? Yeah, that’s definitely Lauren. Watch out: She’s in the game now. We’re not in Ft. Lauderdale anymore.
Also sent home this week: Chelsea and Jenna.
Next week: Tuscany!