ot all heroes wear capes. Sometimes, they wear a red hat, blue overalls, and a stunningly impressive mustache.
And, well, if you're playing Super Mario World, sometimes they actually do wear a cape.
Yes, folks, we're talking about Mario, here. The hero of the Mushroom Kingdom and the greatest plumber the world has ever known.
But recent information has come to light about Mario's profession that may surprise you.
Look at this guy.
If you’re the oldest child in your family, you obviously recognize him as Mario.
If you’re the youngest, you might just call him “the character I never get to play because I’m always Luigi.”
Regardless, there’s one thing we’ve always known about Mario.
He’s a plumber.
Unfortunately, that is apparently no longer true.
According to Nintendo’s Japanese website, Mario is, in fact, not a plumber.
Is nothing sacred?
Needless to say, people are not taking the news well.
This is like when we found out Scar and Mufasa aren’t brothers.
Or when we found out that Hello Kitty isn’t a cat.
Not a plumber, Mario?! What’s up with all of the PIPES, then?!
When the news dropped, gamers from all around the world looked exactly like this.
What’s next? Are you gonna tell us that Luigi isn’t Mario’s brother?
That Peach isn’t a Princess?
That Super Mario 64 isn’t the best Nintendo game in history? (Don’t @ me.)
Look at him, that non-plumber. Look at how smug he is. Don't you just wanna bop his nose?
This is the same way it feels in Super Mario 64 when you’re running toward the stained glass window of Princess Peach and it turns into Bowser and you fall down a surprise trapdoor.
OK, so Mario’s apparently not a plumber. Then…what is he?