In a recent Reddit post, "Never gamble what you aren't willing to lose," parents shared the deals they've made with their kids in desperate yet mostly failed attempts to keep some small semblance of their sanity. Call it what you want; bargaining, negotiating, bribery or just flat out lie to yourself and call it a "reward system," but at the end of the day, one fact remains. A deal is a deal and you better deliver.
I myself have been known to offer a serving or two of rainbow sherbet ice cream (*cough*) before noon, in attempts to appease certain challenging and disgruntled customers, ages 2 and 4.
We're not perfect. We're desperate, tired, and there's an 85% chance that we are in need of a shower. We do what we gotta do. Don't judge us. OR actually, go ahead. But perhaps a scoop of sherbet would temporarily quiet your criticisms? Hmm?
Take comfort in these deals that parents made with their kids, and know that you are not alone in your daily parenting bribery tactics nor are you the only parent who totally sucks at the fine art of negotiation.
Just today I negotiated a deal with my four-year-old. Nothing fancy, just a good old-fashioned bribe to get him the hell out of my car. The terms were simple enough. If he went to preschool, then we would stop by grandma’s house afterward.
Why did I do such a thing? Well, like I said, he’s four, you see, and his tiny knees have yet to be worn down from carrying the heavy burdens of life. When in the car, the tiny evil genius extends his legs and presses his feet against the back of my driver’s seat in protest, locking his small yet sturdy knees like the jaws of life.
After this tired, desperate, and disheveled mom had tried everything short of a public-middle-of-the-street-mother-son-wrestling-match, I caved. Of course, he insisted on a brief verbal confirmation from grandma via FaceTime before agreeing to the terms.
I wiped the sweat from my brow and my son’s tiny locked knees instantaneously released and off he went with a taunting skip in his step.
What can I say? I’m just a mom, standing in front of a little boy, begging him to go away so she can be alone for four glorious hours. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently, I’m also a mom who is going to have to take my son to visit grandma every day after school for the foreseeable future.
"Never gamble what you aren't willing to lose."
I know it’s tempting but you shouldn’t offer your kids sweet things to complete tasks.
The little monster immediately cleaned his room and I had to share my cake with him.
Parents, be prepared to pay the piper.
Ya I bribed my toddler with “candy” (fruit snacks) to take her antibiotics, and for dayyyyyys after she was done with the meds, she’d come up to me and say “mecine?”
I asked her if she had an owie and she says “no, candy” HAHA
Whatever it takes.
I’m potty training my kid with Hershey kisses. DONT JUDGE ME, he’s my fourth and he’s three and I’m done with fuc*ing diapers already.
NO judgment here. I hear you. I feel your pain. Just get through the day mama, one Hershey’s Kiss at a time.
We're all in this together.
Man, I’m using lollipops. I am just done with poop everywhere. Haha, good luck mama.
This next mama really set herself up with this potty training bribe…