Adam Zkt Eva (Adam & Eve) – The Netherlands
If no one wore clothes in Bachelor In Paradise, you’d get this show. Single contestants strip down to their birthday suits – just like Adam and Eve – to coexist on an island together with nothing but palm fronds to cover their naughty bits.
I vote we send Bachelor Arie here as punishment for a full six weeks. Now, who’s a badass without their cardigan? Hmmph!
Dragon’s Den – Britain
If The Apprentice and Shark Tank had a meaner, snarkier baby, you’d get Dragon’s Den. Would-be entrepreneurs present their (often crappy) ideas to a panel of judges that would make Simon Cowell blush.
It’s an epic dream-crushing snarkfest that only the Brits could pull off.
Don’t Scare The Hare – Britain
But those Brits know how to be silly too! Or in this case, maybe just extremely creepy. Contestants literally chase a tiny robotic rabbit around a series of obstacles, trying not to “upset” it. Although this LSD-inspired show only lasted three episodes, it lives on in YouTube infamy. Obviously.
The Great Game Of The Goose – Spain
Just a normal physical competition show. But with ACTUAL BOMBS. Yes, contestants were asked to disable live bombs before they detonated in order to “win.”
Suffice to say: Not everybody won. Which puts Spain at the top of the list of reality TV producers who are literally out to destroy people’s lives.
Terrace House: Boys and Girls in the City – Japan
This is Real World meets Bachelor in Paradise, except with very well behaved young adults who do not have sex in hot tubs under ANY circumstances. Instead of fighting and making out with each other, the cast of Terrace House actually has hours and hours…and hours of mundane conversations about life.
This passes for drama in Japan. This also makes us feel a little bit calmer about the other crazy shit going on over there on TV.