alloween is right around the corner. You're running out of time and you need to figure out your costume like, yesterday. Luckily for you, we have the inside scoop on how costume companies make their most successful outfits every year. It's a very simple two-step process.
Step one: Think of a noun. It can be anything. Animal, vegetable, mineral — you name it.
Step two: Put the word "sexy" before it.
Sexy Laundry! Sexy Tornado! Sexy Stapler! This is how you do Halloween!
Don't believe us? Then you clearly haven't seen the latest Halloween costume that's sweeping the Internet. Enter: the Sexy Goldfish.
We know what you’re thinking. This “Sexy Goldfish” costume is a merely a novelty item. It’s the only one of its kind in existence. We can all look at this picture, shudder, and then move on because there’s nothing else like it in the world.
Nope! Here's another Sexy Goldfish costume!
What’s sexy about a goldfish, you ask?
It doesn’t matter! It’s Halloween! Literally anything can (and should?) be sexy.
What's that? A Sexy Goldfish costume exists? You bet your pumpkin bucket of candy it does!
This one costs about $93.
Sure, you could just buy a regular dumb ol’ goldfish for about 10 cents. But it’s not a costume. And it’s not sexy.
This is what America is all about.
It’s in the Constitution*!
*It is not in the Constitution.
What are you dressing up as for Halloween this year?