It's no secret Hollywood takes creative license during the movies, but certain things should stay sacrosanct – by certain things, we mean sex. How many times have you watched a movie and mid sultry sex scene, you see something so totally asinine and unrealistic, your eyes are rolling all the way back into your brain. "It literally doesn't work that way!" you want to yell at the screen, but you don't because then you'd startle your dog – (we're assuming you have a dog, or cat – maybe a pet chicken?). Hollywood's unrealistic depictions of human sexuality are especially alarming because studies show that 80% of teens get their sex education from the movies and other forms of media. It's not a stretch to say that how teens approach sex is determined by what they see and hear in the media around them, which is why Hollywood needs to do better. Here are the worst offenders.
10. Most Hollywood sex scenes look absolutely gorgeous.
Well lit, beautifully bronzed, physically taut people thrust themselves at each other in what amounts to an operatic show of physical passion.
It's all very impressive and all, but there's one huge problem – real sex is messy and awkward. It's fumbling around trying to figure out where to place what and whose what is which.
It’s damn sure not an opera, and Hollywood needs to stop selling a myth that makes the rest of us feel awkward for not reaching the splendorous heights of movie bliss.
9. People in movie sex scenes rarely seem to communicate with each other.
Either there’s rapturous background music, or a Sade soundtrack (it’s almost always a Sade soundtrack – just who exactly decided her voice symbolized sex?), or people are moaning their very loud enjoyment.
Every once in a while – if the movie is meant to be realistic, or the characters are meant to be despised – you get grunts and groans or a squeaky bed. Very rarely do you get actual communication.
And yet, sex, like most things is a series of communications: When last did you get tested? Are you on birth control? Get the condom. Where’s the lube? Wait – slower – no, faster – OMG, that doesn’t go there! A little bit more to the left!
Sex is a push and pull, a meeting of two minds and bodies. People should definitely talk waay more.
8. Movie sex usually goes on for hours.
When last did you have sex all night? Think about it. Really think hard and deep… When last did you engage in coitus, one act after another from sun up till sundown?