Last night, a historic election took place in Alabama. Doug Jones ran for Alabama's Senate seat against child molester Roy Moore and won, making it the first time a Democrat was elected as Alabama Senator since 1992. Donald Trump, as he is wont to do, has somehow managed to try and take credit for the whole thing.
Yesterday (before the election results rolled in), Trump was urging the citizens of Alabama to vote for Roy Moore.
Roy Moore, as you’ll remember, is a child molester. But that didn’t stop Trump from fully endorsing him. After all, having a child molester in Congress is bad (like, really bad), but having a Democrat in Congress (according to Trump), is much worse.
And if being a child molester isn’t enough reason not to keep a man out of Congress (and it totally is), consider the fact that in addition to dating and having sex with underage girls, Roy Moore is also anti-Semitic, homophobic, and thinks America was better when slavery was around.
AND he rode a horse to the polls which is just plain bizarre.
Anyway, Trump's endorsement clearly wasn't enough to get a child molester elected because Roy Moore lost last night.
And we finally, finally breathed the smallest sigh of relief. Maybe our country isn’t totally and completely screwed after all.
It’s still pretty screwed, but not as screwed as it would have been if Moore had been elected. *Shudder*
Once it became clear that Moore had lost the election, Trump offered the following almost congratulatory message to Doug Jones:
Considering the fact that he was likely mid-tantrum while composing this tweet, we’re almost impressed. He spelled all the words correctly, refrained from using ALL CAPS, and managed to use only one exclamation mark. PRTTY IMPRSIVE!
But that wasn’t Trump’s only tweet about the election. (If you thought it was, you clearly haven’t been paying attention to how the man tweets.)
In his next tweet, he claimed that he knew all along that Roy Moore would lose…