t's been a long year already, and it's not even February, folks! That's right. We're merely one-twelfth of the way through 2018. We've got 11 more of these to go, and I honestly don't know if we're going to make it.
The ups and downs and mostly downs of January have been almost too much for us to handle, you know, as a country. It shows real strength and resilience that we're even attempting to enter February with our heads held high.
As a reminder, here are the craziest things that have gone down in all of our lifetimes. It just so happens that they all occurred in one month. January 2018 is certainly one for the history books.
January 30 — Donald Trump delivers his first (and hopefully last!) State of the Union address.
It may seem like eons ago that Donald Trump seemed to clap into a microphone for 70 straight minutes, but it was actually just last night! Boy how time flies when only evil monsters are having fun.
It seems disingenuous to write about all the things that happened in January when there are still around 15 hours left in the day. That’s enough time for a declaration of war, a few celebrity deaths, and a sexist comment from Sarah Huckabee Sanders. (Oh wait, that last one already happened this morning.)
January 29 — Trump says he won't impose new sanctions on Russia even though literally almost every person has said he should.
This is a really bad thing, guys!!! The president has caused a constitutional crisis, but it’s mostly flown under the radar because we’re so overwhelmed with news that we simply cannot be outraged by all of it.
FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe also stepped down on this day.
But truth be told, we were still reeling from Donald Trump attacking Jay-Z on the 28th and Steve Wynn stepping down due to allegations of sexual assault on the 27th.
January 25 — The New York Times reports that Donald Trump tried to fire special counsel Robert Mueller back in July.
The attempted firing of Robert Mueller consumed the news that day, and rightfully so, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t also include that this is the day married Congressman Patrick Meehan from Pennslyvania announced his retirement after it was revealed that he had settled a sexual harassment case. His accuser was a former (much younger) aide of his who he thought of as his “soul mate.” Whatta day!
People, we’re not even halfway through the month yet…