10 Dad Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Despite Trying Not To

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It’s the roundup you never knew you always wanted. You may not want to laugh, but you will. These aren’t just any dad jokes, they’re the best (worst?) dad jokes, and they’re ultimately irresistible.

The set up: a simple question about simple, every day things. You know the answer will be punny and a little stupid, and you wish you knew it before being told. But you don’t. It’s just out of reach. The punch line: so punny. So bad it’s good. Best when told by a middle aged man who is laughing at his own joke before he can even finish it.

You may wish you didn’t find them funny. What noise does a 747 make when in bounces? But you do. Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

It’s a dad’s right, nay, job to deliver these jokes. And as unfunny as they might be, the more often they are delivered, the funnier they become. Make me a sandwich. Of course he said, “Abracadabra, you are a sandwich.”

You know you’re a dad if you can’t resist pretending your hand is getting chopped up in the disposal. You may be a dad if you reach into dark spaces and then pretend your hand is being attacked by an animal. And you definitely have dad tendencies if you take the time to pretend you are getting electrocuted while you are helping children escape from freaking dinosaurs.

This year I’m celebrating my birthday for half a minute. You know the answer is going to be punny, but you still don’t know what it’s going to be. It’s my 32nd birthday. Ah! There it is!

Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships? Hmmm, is it something derogatory about Norway? We want to know the answer ahead of time, but we don’t. OK. WHY? So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. Of course.

The rare combination of punny dad joke with a heavy hand of tea drinkers’ snobbery. Why did Karl Marx refuse to drink Earl Grey, Darjeeling and Orange Pekoe and only want to drink Rooibos? Because all proper tea is theft.  (Give it a second.)

But in the end… What does a house wear? You will laugh despite yourself. Address.

They’re so silly and simple, and they only get funnier when you put a bunch together. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Oh, boy. Here we go again. What’s it going to be? OK, I’ll bite. No, Dad, I have not heard about the restaurant on the moon. …Great food, no atmosphere. You can practically hear the rim shot.

And all dad jokes are followed by the dad’s self satisfied laughter. He looks around and makes sure everyone gets it. He knows he’s the dad. Everyone knows he’s the dad.