A few years ago, I took a single step from inside my house to my porch and immediately crumpled to the ground because I had broken a bone in my food. By walking down a single stair. I've lived my life since then assuming two things. One: that stairs are not to be trusted, and two: That I suffered the lamest injury of all time.
And then I came across this Twitter thread...
Twitter user Anthony F. Irwin asked the Internet to share their own pitiful injury stories.
via: TwitterAnd people had so many great answers. As it turns out, there's virtually no limit to the ridiculous ways the human body can be injured. Isn't that a pleasant thought?
via: TwitterNever insult a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. But before you do that, make sure you both wear the same size. Otherwise, you're gonna be in some real pain.
via: TwitterYour first mistake was deciding to exercise in the first place. No exercise, no sports bra. No sports bra, no injury.
via: TwitterImagine calling into work after this happened. How does that conversation go, exactly?
via: TwitterYou know that this was probably the cat's plan all along, right? This next one may actually be my favorite. If you like Harry Potter, you'll understand...
via: TwitterThere are fans of Harry Potter, and then there are people who throw their neck out because they heard the Harry Potter theme song. (Hopefully you had some Skele-Gro handy!)
via: TwitterMy siblings and I always used to fight over who got to press the elevator button. I feel like if I had known this was a possibility, I never would have wanted to ride the elevator again.
via: TwitterI cannot even imagine the gymnastics involved here. Maybe this one was actually a very athletic injury, it's just that sport of fingernail clipping hasn't quite been invented yet.
via: TwitterThose soda bottles can definitely be tricky to open, but this is definitely on another level. Maybe this is why nutritionists want people to drink more water.
via: TwitterIf you do choose to drink more water, don't use a straw! Man. Consuming beverages is way more dangerous than I ever realized. As it turns out, food can be pretty dangerous, too...
via: TwitterThis is a very unathletic injury, but your friend should be proud of their ability to throw a cabbage so accurately. When Cabbage Throwing becomes an official sport (probably around the same time as fingernail clipping), they'll be in luck!
via: TwitterThings I'm never going to do again after reading about this injury: Watch a Fun Run. Wear jewelry. Clap.
via: TwitterThis one really takes the cake. Or the gingerbread house. It takes both of them.
via: TwitterYou may laugh, but a guy recently blew a hole in his throat while sneezing. Although the fact that this person apparently has multiple sneezing injuries is absolutely bananas.
via: TwitterThis one might win the whole enchilada. Have any of your own unathletic injuries to share? Post 'em in the comments! And be careful out there!