We all do things we regret. It’s a part of life and something that makes all of us human. Anybody who goes through life without making a single mistake is most definitely not a real person. Maybe a robot? Which, in 2018, is a little scary since that doesn’t feel too far off.
I digress. The point here is that we all mess up and the only way we can get over it is to share with the internet where it shall live on eternally!
Here are 15 people who live with absolutely hilarious regret.
“So I recently got my hair done after letting it get away from me for the past 3 years. I felt amazing and sexy and the compliments from my husband was the cherry on top. Feeling all the excitement and the new found self-esteem, I figured why not get my caterpillar eyebrows up to speed,” Reddit user lucky_lola wrote.
But she wasn’t that lucky…
“I always use my little hair trimmer when shaping my brows, but it seems to have disappeared in the recent move. Then I get the brilliant idea to use my husband’s beard trimmer. I put the smallest attachment on and run it over one eyebrow…. looks perfect. I move onto the next eyebrow and the attachment falls off as I am running it through. No biggie. I put it back on and return to the eyebrow, only to find my poor eyebrow is gone. Just like that. That little second of trimming took it away in one sweep.
“Mortified, I panic. I quickly attempt to draw it back on. The difference is undeniable. I begin to freak even more. What if I trim my existent eyebrow with scissors? Nope. Looks even worse. With my anxiety and mind running rapidly, I give in and just shave the other off.”
“Ran the robot vacuum cleaner and it cleaned the floors with dog feces for a nice scented house to come home to after work,” Reddit user Erik5858 wrote.
Yikes. That is not something you want to come home to.
This one is honestly my worst nightmare.
“I’m currently a postgrad on the ol’ job hunt, and in mid-December I found a job I really really liked the look of in my field. Also, it didn’t require a million years experience and it was part-time. It even had an application form which I was really excited about because I find cover letters more stressful in terms of tailoring it to the job spec.
“So I download the application form, make a copy to put in the ‘job hunting’ document file, and spend hours perfecting my answer in each box. It took the whole day and the deadline was at midnight so I was feeling the pressure because I really liked the look of the job, and I caught it just in time,” wrote werthersun0riginal.
Sounds like a pretty good story so far, right? Well, just wait ’til you read what happened next…
“Send it off along with my CV, they say they’ve received it. In early January I ask if they’ve let people know because I hadn’t heard anything, and they said they’d let everyone know by the end of the month, even if they weren’t successful – there had been a delay because of personal matters, hence the long wait.
“Well I’ll tell you now reader — I was not one of the shortlisted applicants. I was royally gutted because I thought I’d really nailed the form – so I thought if they won’t even interview me, then I’ve got no chance with other jobs.
“But in the interests of keeping going and being resilient and all that — I e-mailed the person and asked for feedback so that I might be more successful in the future.
“Bless her patience, because there’s no wonder I wasn’t considered — I sent them the empty application form, which I had just put my name and degree on, but with all of the answers blank. So I missed out on an opportunity because I didn’t double-check the attachments I’d sent.”
“I didn’t ask an unsaved number who they were, had a conversation and then the person purchased me a concert ticket thinking I was somebody else. After I explained the miscommunication, the person still expects me to go to the concert.”
This is an actual nightmare, but also if it was Beyoncé, then it was totally worth it.
Which, yes, is not something you would think you would need to know. But heed this person’s warning!
“This happened when I was in the 3rd grade, I was around 8 years old at the time.
“After school, there would be this program that would be held in the Cafeteria after school. You would go there, do your homework, they would give you a snack and hold an activity or something.
“Anyways, one day, I went up to the main coordinator, asking her to check my work (they would often help you with homework) and as she was checking it I started to get chatty with her. I liked talking to the coordinators a lot. I don’t know how or why I said this, but something slipped out of my mouth. This was around the time ‘Peanut Butter Jelly Time’ was popular with kids at my school, and since I wasn’t 100% perfect with interpreting lyrics, I thought the line ‘Peanut Butter Jelly with a baseball bat’ was actually ‘He hit me in the belly with a baseball bat’.”
Uh-oh. This clearly isn’t going to go well…
“I was softly whispering the song to myself while I was sitting next to her, waiting for her to finish checking my work, and when I said that line, it was just loud enough for her to drop what she was doing and interrogate me. ‘Who did?’ and after that, I snapped back to reality and realized what I just said. I told her ‘nobody’ in a snappy response. She was not happy. She sternly said to me ‘Y’know, even if you’re playing around with me, I’m going to have to report that’. Me being a naive 8-year-old boy, I didn’t understand what that really meant, and I went along my business the rest of the day.
“The next day, I went home on the bus after school (they didn’t hold the program on Tuesdays and Thursdays) and I came home to my mom and my brother sitting on the couch waiting for me to get home.
“Needless to say, I found out that the lady actually went ahead and reported what I said, and that CPS was planning on scheduling an interview within the next week to see whether or not I should be removed from the household. We eventually managed to nullify this, proving that my family didn’t abuse me, but I was grounded for a month following this.”
“[I] thought it would be a fun idea to sneak into my school just out of curiosity…my mom ended up getting a call from the police and I now have to go in for an interview,” wrote tanuki-robot on Reddit.
So much for living on the edge!
Here’s a thought: Don’t ever try to prank your mom!
“A novelty scratch off made me curse my mom because there were apparently different versions of the fake winning lottery,” kaptinkracker wrote. This particular lottery card had a very crude message waiting for the person that received it.
This is a major “WHOOPS!”
“[I stored] my plastic Tupperware in my oven. My cat accidentally turned it on and the plastic caught on fire!”
Dang cats…always starting trouble.
“[I] stood in [the] sprinkler and didn’t notice then dropped [my] keys in a bin and dove after them.”
They prefaced the story with saying that it was early in the morning, but still.
“Told friend to throw a lime at me, it hit me in the eye and I needed surgery to fix it,” wrote awwman32.
There’s so much wrong with this scenario. Moral of the story: Don’t tell your friends to throw things at your eyeballs.
“Popped a squat to drink my coffee, lost my balance, spilled it all over myself and a strange piece of machinery while pulling a muscle in my shoulder.”
I’m all about multi-tasking but this is too much.
“[I] spilled laundry detergent on the floor, left it for 24 hours, and it ate the finish off the vinyl floor,” wrote blackdynomitesnewbag.
This could’ve been very avoidable. And yet here we are.
“Babysitting next door neighbors kids, decided to play fetch. Kids get on zip line [and] hit me in face. I lose a couple teeth.”
Basically the main thing you don’t want to happen when babysitting.
Hey, at least the guy knows that he was a complete idiot. Here it is:
“So about 2.5 years ago, junior year of college, I started to get into shape. I wanted to get into running and always found the hobby to be a cool idea. So I got into it and started running around my neighborhood and around my college. There are a lot of parks and trails in this area because of the location. I have never been good at keeping a pace I always go to hard to fast in the beginning and would tire myself out early on.
“Well one day I am in the park just starting to run when I see this person who happens to be female running ahead of me. I am ecstatic because her pace is exactly what I want. So I follow her. I figured if I kept up with her I could get used to a good pace. I was not thinking at all. It is approaching sunset and we are both deep into this park. It has been 15 or 10 minutes and she starts to take some weird routes, and I think, ‘WOW. This is cool I have never taken these trails before this is so cool.’ I am still right behind her.
“This goes on for another 5 minutes until she turned around and yelled ‘STOP FOLLOWING ME!’ Then she opens up her pepper spray and douses me in it. Boy did that hurt for what felt like ever. I never got to explain my self cause she ran off and I somehow, through a miracle, made it back to my apartment and took care of myself.
“I know I was an idiot looking back on it and I 100% deserved that.”
“I saw this bug on the wall that had been harassing me earlier as I was eating my tea. I decided that this bug needed to die for its crimes so I did a running jump and tried to squash it.
“I then landed on my right ankle and it bent completely sideways. I heard a loud cracking sound and then began swearing loudly. My mum came running in and blamed my stepdad who seemed to think I was faking it.
“Well I’m sitting at home now and I’m pretty sure I just fractured my ankle. My stepdad was trying to make me walk on it before I left and then I had to use it to drive home. Unless I pay for it- I’ll have to wait until morning to see my doctor.
“It hurts and I feel stupid. I didn’t even kill the bug,” Reddit user KitaShika recounted.
“Bug – 1. KitaShika – 0.”