We all face the daily drama of work, family, and the Target express lane. But do we have the perfect phrase to handle those moments when we’re backed into a corner? Maybe not, but Bravo’s Real Housewives do!
Here’s a handy list of ten phrases our beloved Housewives have given us, ready to bust out on that special occasion when table flipping and wine throwing just aren’t enough.
When you have said all there is to say, and need to end things with one final burn. “Girl, bye” is your go-to clap back, and – not that I’ll admit to using it personally – you can be one hundred percent assured that it works like a charm every time.
One caveat: You might get punched in the face if you say it to the wrong person.
Kenya Moore danced her way out of an argument with this classic Housewives line, successfully confusing and shutting haters down in one fell swoop. After she turned her crazy line into an equally crazy song, the Atlanta Housewife even embraced her new nickname, “Twirl.”
Feel free to shout this at your awful blind date across the restaurant as you sashay out before drinks are served. *Best used when wearing a maxi dress.
Sheree Whitfield was asked to get herself in check, and this was her classic response. From t-shirts to comments sections, Who gon’ check me boo? has taken its place in Housewives history and in our common vernacular.
Best used when service personnel are trying to calm you down because you refuse to pay that fine. Trust me on this one. *Sunglasess optional, but highly recommended.
If you find yourself in Peurto Vallarta on Spring Break with your parents, this is a nifty phrase to keep handy. Also, if you’re a 50-something woman in a gated community in Orange County, it’s just as useful.
Vicki Gunvalson likes to shout it out at her OC cast mates at random moments, such as right before a girls’ night out or adult baptism ceremony. Please do the same.
Question: In Ramona Singer’s world, when is it not Turtle Time? Based on the bar Ramona found on an Island Vacation, turtle-themed partying was given a new name.
Best used when you’re standing on a pier at one am, precariously balanced on stilettos, giving zero f**ks.
The beauty of Dorinda Medley’s classic line is its virtuosity. I mean, can we even think of a situation to which this doesn’t apply? No, we cannot.
Bonus: You get to ask yourself a question, then immediately answer it – all while calling someone, somewhere a bitch. Who that person might be doesn’t matter! They’ve been served.
The former Countess never loses her cool, even while breaking out of handcuffs on Christmas Eve when running from cops in Palm Beach (google that mess – it’s amazing).
Adopt Luann De Lesseps’ advice as your advice: Never let them see you sweat. Also, wear a lot of robes.
Of all the Housewives who might be hiding a penis under their couture clothing, it’s probably Bethenny Frankel. Much like Kenya Moore, Bethenny doesn’t want you coming for her unless she sent for you.
Best used when Jill Zarin is getting up in your business or, more likely, when your boss wonders where your Tuesday report is.
Lisa Rinna is above it all, and she knows it.
Repeat this mantra all day, every day. No matter where you are. Obvi.
“YOU BEAST!” is the comeback that Kim Richards gifted us all, and we thank her for her service. Kim called on all of her dramatic powers to bust this line out soap opera star/cast mate Eileen Davidson during a Housewives fight in Amsterdam.
Paired with a pointed finger and super-close up camera shot, this line scares the pants off of regular humans. Try it on your spouse during your next argument. Then watch them back away slowly, confused about when you found time to take those improv classes.
Meghan King Edmonds was invited to play Bunco with her RHOC cast mates, but she didn’t quite know what she was getting into. All she knew was that Bunco was a weird game that involved “mature” ladies in cocktail dresses screaming at each other while throwing dice. Naturally.
Erika Jayne is a real life Pretty Woman. She went from small town waitress to Beverly Hills wife of a multi-millionaire and never looked back. Take a page from her book next time someone asks you why your Starbucks budget is infringing on your ability to pay rent.
Phaedra Parks taught us all that prayer circles and Real Housewives can coexist. Kinda. But even the Big Guy Upstairs couldn’t save Phaedra from getting fired on RHOA last year.
Oh well. We can still quote her call to Jesus if we find ourselves in the middle of a grown woman cat fight – because Andy Cohen certainly won’t fix it for you!
Kyle Richards screaming at her sister is nothing new. But when she finally bottomed lined her feelings on a RHOBH Reunion, Kyle gave us the line we can turn to when all else fails.
Try it out on that Sephora clerk who just told you’re your favorite lipstick shade was just discontinued.
You are a queen, dammit! So sip your tea and bask in the glow of simply being fabulous, just like Lisa Vanderpump.
Silent, shady, and savage. Boom.