Remember the good ol' days, when you could still judge other people's parenting with a straight face? The days of freedom, filled with delusions of perfect and pin-worthy parenting? You were so hopeful. You were so naive. You were also really judgey. But now, all of your previous plans to "do it better" serve as a constant reminder that you should never judge another parent until you've walked a mile in a pair of practical shoes you swore you'd never wear.
We're all guilty.
#Moms https://t.co/ZxveNBziWJ— MCH (@MCH)1507654695.0
1) TantrumsThis one is a classic. Even the most reasonable non-parents find themselves guilty of this pre-parenthood judgment. You gave the judgey looks and now you are destined a decade's worth in return. Karma's three-fold, and we all know she's a B.
2) Screen Time
But now you know.Screen time is sanity. All hail modern technology and doing whatever it takes to pee in peace or maybe even indulge in the luxurious privilege of a 4-minute shower.
3) Completely letting themselves go.No, you weren't going to forgo the self-care once you became a parent. You'd find time to stay on top those roots and get an occasional mani/pedi. Oh, the delusions of grandeur you once entertained. Now, shaving your legs is reserved for special occasions and your self-care routine consists of brushing your teeth.
4) Talking backYou're future perfect children we're never going to talk back to you. Your friend's child, who says "no way" and "never" constantly, was in serious need of a little tough love. You had yet to comprehend that children are not reasonable beings; they don't respond well, or sometimes at all, to direction.
5) Co-sleepingSo you thought you'd never co-sleep did you? All the controversy and concerns, you'd never get into that habit.
6) Table Manners
7) DrinkingRemember thinking how your friend with kids seemed to always go a little heavy on the wine at dinner? You thought that maybe she had a problem? Turns out she did, two of them. Now you each bring a bottle to girl's night.
8) Baby WeightYou knew before having kids that you were going to make getting back into shape a priority. What you didn't know is that you would be constantly exhausted, eating leftover mac and cheese for dinner at 11:00 pm, and would have no time to workout. It's the perfect combo for a muffin top, which, by the way, is totally the look we're all going for.
9) Marital Problems
10) AttireYou were never going to own a pair of mom jeans, sneakers, or wear nursing bras a year after stopping breastfeeding. But somehow, things don't fit the same. Priorities change. And you find yourself a walking, talking SNL skit.
11) Filthy Kids
via: Getty ImagesI remember being a new mom and seeing a child at the store with filthy hands and thinking, "When is the last time that kid got a bath?" Now I know, he could have bathed that morning. They find dirt. Dirt finds them. There is no keeping them clean. There is only dirt, dirt, and more dirt. Did I mention dirt?
via: Getty ImagesYou were so sure you'd have it all. You'd effortlessly juggle motherhood, a career, marriage, and friendships and have time left over for Pinterest projects. But you had to learn the hard way, as we all must, that, sometimes, something has got to give and it can't be sanity.