Sometimes, we have to deal with embarrassing issues. But we would like to do that in the swiftest, most discreet way possible. That is why it is a miracle that we can buy things online and have them sent straight to our door in brown, cardboard boxes.
Amazon is pretty much packed with products of all kinds. Anything you might need to deal with any…issue you have, Amazon has it. I promise. And I am here to show you those products. I know, I’m pretty much like, your savior right now.
These products are the ones that you wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable looking a cashier in the eye and sliding toward them to scan. Not that you ever have to be embarrassed about the things you need to be healthy and happy, but there are just some things that you might not want to broadcast to the world. These are those products. Go ahead, order them. We won’t tell anyone.
These Nasal Strips
Are you a snorer? Do you think you don’t snore, but if you were to ask your partner if you snore, they would nod so vigorously their head would fall off? Then these Breathe Right Nasal Strips are for you! It’s a drug-free sleep aid to help you breathe better at night and therefore sleep better. They fit right above your nostrils, lifting your inflamed sinus passages.
This Boob Towel
Can you say “underboob sweat” without cringing? Yeah, neither can I. If you are a bustier person, you have no doubt dealt with all manner of sweat and grossness around your knockers. This towel is designed for those right-out-of-the-shower moments when you are most vulnerable. Does it look absolutely ridiculous? Sure. Is it going to matter when it does its job beautifully? Not at all.
This Ingrown Toenail Corrector
Sure, you could pay hundreds of dollars for a doctor to tell you that you have an ingrown toenail, or you can take the matter into your own hands (which you should only do if you sort of know what you are doing). This little metal tool sure is effective, though, and don’t you worry. It comes with instructions. The people in the reviews who have done it says it’s like a miracle worker for their painful ingrown toenails, and I believe it!
This Electronic Foot File
Buff away dead skin and calluses from your foot with this electronic foot file. If you have layers and layers of rough skin on your feet that need to come off, what are you going to do, sit there and scrub with a pumice stone or one of those cheese grater things until your arm falls off and you are sweating profusely? No. Treat yourself to this electronic device that will put in all the effort for you.
This Wand Massager
Look, you can use this to massage your neck or your back or whatever, but we all know that this is a vibrator, built for lady pleasure, and you obviously need one. It is wireless, rechargeable, has 20 different vibration patterns and speeds, and is totally water resistant. I think this one line review from a guy named Tim says it all: “My wife no longer needs me.”
This Dog Stroller
If you really want to be that person who pushes their four-legged pet down the street in a stroller like a human child, now is your chance to do it without getting laughed out of town. It is one thing if you have a sick or disabled dog who still wants to see the sights. But if your teacup chihuahua is perfectly capable of trotting down the sidewalk, let it be.
These Odor-Eating Sneaker Balls
We all have stinky feet at one point or another in our lives. Some shoes just retain that sweaty smell more than others. That is why you need this pack of three pairs of sneaker balls. These odor-eating balls will work in shoes, gym bags, lockers, closets… You name it! Simply twist them to release that fresh scent and leave them in your shoes for up to six months.
This Breath Spray
Even though halitosis is made up, bad breath is not. And if you suffer from it, it is beyond time to do something about it. Keep this tiny bottle of fresh breath spray with you at all times. it fits right in your pocket or your purse, and it kills 99.9 percent of germs that cause bad breath. This stuff will leave you minty fresh and ready to smooch in an instant.
These Underarm Sweat Pads
You get 24 pads in this pack of underarm sweat pads, and you cannot imagine how helpful these things can be. If you are a major sweater who deals with pit stains galore, these pads are for you. They absorb insane amounts of moisture and stop your sweat from ruining the pits of all your favorite shirts and dresses. They are super easy to apply. Just peel and stick right onto the armpit are of your shirt.
This Toilet Plunger
Sometimes that rinky-dinky red rubber plunger just is not good enough to get the job done. That is where this bad boy comes in. This plunger reaches all the way back to catch the stuff that stuck and jiggle it free. This is a plunger for serious business if you know what I mean. This thing is flexible and reusable and the handle is made of stainless steel, so in the battle for the toilet, this thing will win every time.
These Fart Catching Pads
All hail the Subtle Butt pads! If you are a big farter (just gotta come out and say it), these might come in handy for you. They are antimicrobial, activated charcoal pads that adhere right to your undergarments that filter out bad odors from your farts so you can toot without worrying about being the one caught when the people around you conduct their fart-vestigation.
These Adult Wet Wipes
Listen, it makes no sense that only babies get to use wet wipes. They just make sense for adults, and we should not feel ashamed about using them. These wet wipes from Cottonelle are totally flushable, and they are lightly and pleasantly scented. You get eight packs with 42 wipes each for $11. That is a steal, totally worth it, I tell ya. Don’t you want to feel the cleanest you can feel back there?
This Toilet Spray
While we are talking about butt stuff, get yourself a bottle of Poo-Pourri! You spray this stuff in the toilet bowl before you go number two, and no one will ever know that you dropped a big one. It is a blend of orange, lemon, bergamot, and lemongrass essential oils that will help stop bathroom odors before they even get started. This is an essential product.
This Smart Water Bottle
A smart water bottle? you may be asking. How is this humiliating? Um, do you think it is not embarrassing to need a reminder to drink water, one of the things that keeps you alive? OK, this may be one of the less embarrassing products on the list, but it is a cool one! I want a bottle that lights up when it’s time for me to take a drink. If you are not yet keeping track of your water consumption, now is the time to start.
This Back Shaver
For those out there who have a little more back hair or shoulder hair than they would like, this back shaver is for you! Now you can get the job done yourself, discreetly in your own shower. It has a curved handle for ease of use and is built for wet or dry use. And yes, it will adjust to a length long enough to reach those tough spots. You won’t have random tufts of hair here and there after shaving.
This Tongue Scraper
We tend to forget that tongues need to be cleaned just like our teeth do. Well, with this tongue scraper, you will get down to the nitty-gritty of tongue cleaning. You get a two-pack of these stainless steel bad boys for less than $10. They are reusable, washable, and really effective. They will remove all the plaque and bacteria that build up on your tongue and contribute to your bad breath problems.
This Antifungal Balm
If you suffer from eczema, ringworm, jock itch, athlete’s foot, or nail fungal infections, this is the best natural ointment to soothe your skin and help alleviate infection. It is made from a mixture of natural oils including lavender, eucalyptus, and tea tree. Simply apply the stuff liberally on your irritated skin and you will feel better in no time. I swear, this is the good stuff.
This Hemorrhoid Cushion
Maybe you have been dealing with painful hemorrhoids or a lower back injury, or maybe you are pregnant and uncomfortable all the time. Whatever your back issue is, this circular cushion provides relief by reducing pressure on your pelvic, coccyx, lower back, perineal, and anal regions. It is made of dense foam that will not flatten out no matter how much you use this thing, so go to town.
This Lice Removal Kit
Lice is no bueno, but if you live in a house with small children, chances are you will get it at some point. This lice removal kit includes a non-toxic gel formula, an applicator, and a comb, and it is such a more pleasant experience than putting mayonnaise on your head, which is what I see people do in movies and TV shows all the time. This gel smells like sweet pear blossom, so it is much better.