Ah, The Elf on the Shelf. This mischievous little fellow is now a time-honored holiday tradition, delighting children everywhere — and inspiring contempt in their parents.
While there are endless creative shelf-elf ideas out there, the internet has produced a few, shall we say, “adult” takes on this cute Christmas custom.
Warning: #19 is definitely not suitable for children.
So THAT’S how these are made.
Now we understand why these were always our least favorite Christmas cookies.
This is a far cry from the innocent games of Spin the Bottle we used to play as kids.
Although it’s nice to finally see those Disney princesses letting loose and actually having some fun for once.
Way to let your hair down, Rapunzel!
This disturbing sacrifice would look pretty out of place in Santa’s workshop.
…although we never realized how close the words “Santa” and “Satan” are…
We get it.
Eggnog goes right through us, too.
But he could have picked a less obvious spot.
He just narrowly missed that stocking!
That would have been quite the soggy Christmas surprise.
We’ve all been there, buddy.
Just have some “hair of the reindeer” and you’ll be feeling better in no time.
You too, Woody?!
This elf is clearly a bad influence.
Although based on Woody’s dead-eyed expression, he seems to have had no choice in the matter.
We’re guessing these little guys snapped after hearing one too many renditions of Elsa’s “Let It Go.”
And we can’t say we blame them.
These days, it’s getting harder and harder to scrape up enough money to get through the holidays.
No judgments here.
This is what you’re spending your money on right before Christmas, elf?
What would Mrs. Claus think?
Replacing toilet paper with duct tape?
This is grounds for a permanent spot on the “naughty” list.
Here’s a tip for all the siblings out there:
Your Elf on the Shelf is the perfect thing to frame all of your meanest pranks on.
He can’t defend himself, plus he constantly looks like he’s up to no good.
We’re all probably guilty of knocking back a couple of these once December rolls around.
They make Christmas shopping so much more enjoyable.
No good can come from two evil dolls coming to life and teaming up.
Poor Frosty. All he ever wanted was to be a real boy.
Or was that Pinocchio?
Now he’s getting the G.I. Joes in on his dirty deeds?
If they spend all 12 days of Christmas partying, they’ll be way too hungover to open their presents.
Okay, we get that the holidays are stressful, but this is getting ridiculous.
Unless those are actually just extra-strength candy canes.
Oh, the humanity!
This little guy’s eggnog addiction is really getting out of hand.
Here’s a reason to think twice about bringing your Elf on the Shelf into the office.
At least he kept his pants on, unlike Craig from accounting…
You don’t even want to know what he did to the toothpaste.
He’s either very committed to hygiene, or he’s just a jerk.
So THIS is what goes on in the Barbie Dream House.
We imagined more cupcake baking and less drunken nudity.
Merry Christmas, little guy.
You somehow still managed to make your way onto the “nice” list.