Children are a blessing. They fill your home with love and laughter and turn you and your partner into a full-blown family.
They can also be really, really mean.
And while it may not be a barrel of laughs for their parents, hearing about their crushing insults makes us all feel a little bit better about our own encounters with sassy little ones.
Enjoy!
Toddlers have a flair for insults that no adult could ever top.
Toddler insults are somehow both hilarious and devastating, and being burned by a kid is 100 times more frustrating than being burned by an adult, because you can't throw an insult back. Well, you shouldn't, anyway. We're sure some parents have been pushed to the edge a few times.Angela Davis, aka @TheKitchenista, is mom to an adorable little one...
Toddler insults are just...whew. She hurts my feelings low key. 😂 Today's tantrum ended with "AND I DON'T LIKE YOUR BRAIDS!"— Angela (@Angela)1510806350.0
Ouch! This one had to have stung.
@TheKitchenista Me, while cooking: "Ugh! Curry get every dang where!" Nephew: Your shirt? Me: "looks at curry stain… https://t.co/VvhBGF5xcu— Kish Kringle (@Kish Kringle)1510841713.0
Nothing like being patronized by a 4-year-old.
Parenting experts claim that we should be nurturing our kids' self-esteem so they'll grow up to be confident, capable adults, but this kid seems like she could stand to be taken down a peg or two.And with one comment from a toddler, this man was forced to reevaluate his entire relationship.
We think this man is a hero for playing hide-and-seek for even a short amount of time. We all know it's the worst game ever invented.It'd be hard not to laugh at the "puffy butt" comment...
@TheKitchenista My three year old told me I had a puffy butt and will point out a blemish, every blemish, in a hot minute— Strong at the Broken Places (@Strong at the Broken Places)1510806731.0
This kid clearly doesn't realize the benefits of his aunt living closer to him.
@TheKitchenista @thetrudz I moved interstate to be closer to my family, and my nephew told me recently "Things were… https://t.co/mWPndoTeR0— climate stripes (@climate stripes)1510812432.0
First of all, rude.
Second of all, this is a great opportunity to teach this kid what is appropriate and what is not appropriate to say to someone right after they've given birth. "I'll watch the baby while you take a nap" is pretty much the only acceptable comment.Poor guy!
@TheKitchenista My husband told my niece to stop picking on her sister. She whispered in his ear "I don't love you.… https://t.co/Hvz9OyQXUc— Bridge (@Bridge)1510864359.0
Getting rejected by a toddler is a hard thing to bounce back from.
And the condescending tone of voice that he no doubt used when he said this must have been truly insulting. This kid can say kiss his free movies and snacks goodbye!What a cruel yet perceptive child.
@TheKitchenista A five year old I was babysitting once told me, “Nobody likes you and your whole life is weird” 😭… https://t.co/cEZ4bTZo4W— sk (@sk)1510900773.0
This kid has a future in creative writing.
@MaureenMatherne @bluetoototwo @fuggirls @callinlexie @chrissyteigen I made French toast for dinner once and my mid… https://t.co/m4paZqOJry— Mindy (@Mindy)1506204881.0
Isn't this exactly what you'd want to hear after a long and grueling flight?
That person you wished to be run over by a car just paid for your international flight, Dylan. You're going to miss that privilege once you're out in the REAL world.On the bright side, this mom would finally get a day off.
@chrissyteigen My 3yo just got right in my face and screamed, "You are over! Mommies are cancelled!"— Elizabeth (@Elizabeth)1506135162.0
The eye contact is what really makes this one cut deep.
@chrissyteigen My 13 month old says "dada" but every time I ask "can you say mama?" she looks me in the eyes, says… https://t.co/TsK7SvqU9L— Emma Span (@Emma Span)1506133833.0
Oh, snap!
@chrissyteigen my 6 year old wanted a toy at target. I told her" no I don't have money" she responded "maybe you should get a better job"— Jen (@Jen)1506960955.0
Merry Christmas!
This kid should certainly be on the "naughty" list. Here's hoping his stocking was full of coal that year.Considering many moms have perpetual "morning hair" from their insanely their busy lives, this one is actually pretty impressive.
@chrissyteigen A man complimented my hair. My son without missing a beat "sure it looks good now but you should see… https://t.co/EIZ5u3utDW— Iniko Blue (@Iniko Blue)1506224850.0
This is a new one.
How does one look like a rock, anyway? And what type of rock are we talking about? Sedimentary, metamorphic, or igneous?This little girl is on her way to being featured on a future episode of "Bridezillas."
At least this comment makes it seem like she thinks her mom currently looks good. It's important to hold on to the positives whenever possible as a parent.Well, there goes your stand-up career.
@chrissyteigen Last night: 3: are you funny mom? Me: yes. Very 3: no you’re not funny. You are not funny.— myra (@myra)1506133834.0