What did parents even do before Twitter was around for them to commiserate about messy hair, messy cars, and messy rooms? (In case you weren't already aware, parenthood is filled with a lot of messes.)
Luckily for the parent of today — and for us! — Twitter exists and is the perfect place to document all the fails, successes, and everyday hilarity that comes along with having offspring.
Here are 20 of our favorite tweets all about the miracle that is bringing new life into the world (and then promptly second-guessing that decision approximately four times a day).
1. Kids are great, but food is also great. You shouldn't have to choose between the two.
It's amazing how much of parenthood is spent eating delicious things in secret.— Life at Tiffany’s (@Life at Tiffany’s)1509805274.0
2. Say goodbye to quiet drives forever.
Welcome to parenthood! I hope you enjoy driving people around to places they begged you to go, but then complained… https://t.co/RCFklKBg5C— Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe)1512705558.0
3. This is the real Neverending story:
I'm pretty sure putting kids to bed is the real Neverending story.— Meredith (@Meredith)1474335879.0
4. This is a brilliant idea!
There needs to be a Robin Hood like person, who steals energy from kids and gives it to their parents.— The Real American Dadass (@The Real American Dadass)1507913335.0
5. Sometimes, you just need a place to escape to.No matter how many times a day your kids make you smile, don't pretend that you wouldn't gladly escape to the land of missing socks and lost TV remotes for a solid 30 minutes if you got the chance.
6. Being a parent does something to you. Your brain, we mean.
Today I called the dishwasher the "washing machine for the dishes," in case you were wondering what Motherhood does to your brain cells,— the Mom TruthBomb (@the Mom TruthBomb)1481595768.0
7. We've all been there:
Ah. This sheet music must be for the parenting theme song. https://t.co/Xf3jNmiBFN— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad)1467064980.0
8. We were so quick to judge...
I’m sorry to all the moms I thought sounded mean before I had kids. I totally get it now.— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy)1512594699.0
9. The holidays are the perfect time for just the right amoung of subterfuge.
“Oh, gee. Ok. I mean TECHNICALLY you COULD ask for expensive toys...but that would make you greedy and you’d probab… https://t.co/VAEfiV3U97— Sara Says Stop (@Sara Says Stop)1512417098.0
10. As a parent, you always have to be ready to pick your battles.
Parenting is having to choose between telling your kids to stop doing something dangerous, and letting them keep do… https://t.co/BtOy4AAn7H— Kathleen Wear a Mask Brough (@Kathleen Wear a Mask Brough)1512744895.0
11. No matter how much your kids may bug you, the thought of them moving out still fills you with a little bit of dread.
Me: OMG, will these kids just leave me alone? Also me: *weeps at a commercial where kid leaves for college.— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue)1510109310.0
12. We could have sworn they were clean...once... Maybe?
Welcome to parenthood!!! The windows in your car will never be clean again.— TheUnspiration (@TheUnspiration)1512424677.0
13. Livin' the dream!
Let's get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning you can braid hair while I pack lunches and we can all be late.— Simon Holland (@Simon Holland)1477571213.0
14. Parenthood brings with it a brand new skill set.
“Still got it,” I whisper to myself as I detangle a Hot Wheel from my hair.— Ramblin Mama (@Ramblin Mama)1512757964.0
15. Parenthood can be explained in one simple metaphor:
When someone asks what it's like to be a mom I show them the magazine I've been carrying for 6mths,because dammit I'm gonna read it one day.— CurrentlyCaprece (@CurrentlyCaprece)1469132098.0
16. Parenthood often takes some very delicate math.
Planning a family outing is just deciding which activity will lead to the least amount of complaining from the least number of people.— Kate Hall (@Kate Hall)1472475170.0
17. You'll also gain a whole new library of things to scream.
DON’T RUN WITH CHEESE IN THE LIVING ROOM and other things I didn't think I'd yell until I became a parent.— Rodney Lacroix (@Rodney Lacroix)1512470961.0
18. Target is a haven for frazzled parents everywhere.
The best part of shopping at Target is the convenience. And that at least one mom always looks more frazzled than I do.— Jennifer S. White (@Jennifer S. White)1512404341.0
19. Heaven help the parent who doesn't properly separate all the food on your kids' plate.
It was all fun and games until two food groups on my son’s dinner plate decided to touch each other.— Unfiltered Mama (@Unfiltered Mama)1512701196.0
20. There are some questions you just don't ask.
As a parent, you slowly learn to stop asking questions like, "Why is there a plastic spoon behind the bed?"— the Mom TruthBomb (@the Mom TruthBomb)1504828721.0