25 Depressingly Hilarious Reasons People Have Been Fired on the Spot

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If you’ve ever been a manager, you know it can be a pretty thankless job. A bunch of managers and supervisors took to Reddit to share times when they had to fire employees on the spot for unprofessional behavior. Beware: cringe-worthy stories ahead.

He slashed my tire after I told him to go work instead of sitting in the break room.” @SgtDefective2 Man, being a manager is riskier than we thought.

“I gave my secretary a document that I wanted incorporated into a letter I had written, and she hucked the document like a frisbee into her trashcan. It was literally my only copy so I had to walk over and fish it out. That was her last day.” @SandmanD2 That’s one way to communicate with your boss…

“I once had an employee snap chatting as he drove an ambulance with a crew member and patient in the back, through an intersection during a red light.” @kingforpres We’re crossing our fingers that this person isn’t driving an ambulance anymore!

“I had an employee who got drunk on her lunch break, flipped her car, went to jail, mugshot with our company logo on her shirt. Perfect.” @DrCubby07 Wow, and for us a memorable lunch break is going to Chipotle.

“I work in pizza delivery and we had a guy back in the day (fellow manager) who tried to shut down the store 5 hours before the time that corporate set for us to close. He clocked every person out and sent them home and then just refused to take the phone calls or anything like that.” @MAZ0N File this one under failed mutinies.

“Years back a co-worker got into some trouble for something and got called into the owner’s office. Few mins later you hear a huge thump, idiot broke his hand on the bosses desk during their disagreement. He got a police escort off the property.” @Makersacres Hopefully he found his way into anger management after this.

“My husband is a manager and his employee somehow had another employee’s ID and then stole that person’s check and cashed it. Caught it all on camera. She still denied it.” @Darksecretbox Yeah, we’d say that’s a fireable offense.

“I had an officer under me. He was reported in a tree. I went to investigate the last place he was seen. He was still there, attempting to pepper spray birds. I wish I could have made that up.” @SmokeyTFO But were the birds okay?

“Had a guy that would ring up dine in orders with 5 sodas (the amount that the people ordered), but then before they cashed out, he’d remove all but 1 or 2 and would pocket the difference. He would give them the first copy and since of course that’s what they ordered, they never said anything. When he realized they would be paying cash, he’d change it.” @DizzyedUpGirl Gaming the system on a whole new level.

“I was a blacksmith at a federal historical site and I used to make nails as a demonstration. I didn’t see this but another blacksmith was making nails and a lady remarked ‘They didn’t have nails back then!’ (17th century) to which the blacksmith replied ‘Right lady, they scotch taped Christ to the cross!’” @indrid_cold And they got fired? This blacksmith deserved a raise for that quip!

“Not a manager, but I had a teacher who was fired due to a spectacular display of poor judgement. I was in grade 5, so 9-10 year olds. The teacher decided to reward some good behaviour with a movie in class. We were given a choice between movie about a family in the mountains, and a movie about a ghost. We picked the family because we thought the ghost movie might be scary. It was The Shining. We watched it, unedited, in class. Some kids hid their faces through most of it. Most of us went home and had terrible nightmares, and the teacher was forcibly removed from class and fired the following morning.” @neverwasthedragon Sheesh, was Frozen not out yet?

“I wasn’t his manager, but at a company that I used to work for, they made the mistake of firing a system administrator before disabling his access. He apparently had known it was coming for quite a while because he had scripts written to change the local admin logins on a number of our servers and then promptly shut them down. We were able to get them back up and restore root access with domain admin credentials or snapshots, but imagine 76 mission-critical production servers going down at once on a Friday at 3PM. That was a really long weekend.” @GodMonster Hell hath no fury like an employee scorned.

“Had a girl call in and say she was terribly sick. She’s friends with me and the other two bosses on social media. An hour after calling out she posts pics of herself at a local pool.” @UnparallelDharma Pro tip: don’t friend your boss on social media.

“Setting a paper packing machine on fire because it got stuck.” @imonfiyar Well, we definitely haven’t heard this one before.

“I worked at a computer repair shop. This dude showed up to his first day of work, absolutely high as a kite, and wearing no shirt. He had no explanation for why he didn’t have a shirt. I told him to go home and not to come back. I wasn’t even technically a manager, I was just the only one working that day besides him. So technically I didn’t have the authority to fire him, but damned if I didn’t do it anyway. My theory is he thought his shirt smelled like weed so he threw it away on the way in.” @FF3LockeZ So much for first impressions.

“Wasn’t the manager, but worked at Walmart where I had a co-worker in another department show up, clock in, leave to his other job for the day, return after his shift at the other job was over, and then clock out. He got away with this for 2+ months. Needless to say, he AND his department manager were fired as soon as other management found out…” @Vocal_Ham We’ve got to give this person props for pulling off that long con.

My fiancé worked at a shady car dealership for a short time. He came home and told me this one car technician had ‘borrowed’ a high end sports car from the lot to take for a joy ride. He then proceeded to flip the car, totaling it and fled the scene leaving his three monster energy drinks behind in the mangled car. Turns out, he violated his probation by driving the vehicle and had to go back to jail.” @earthwormcalypso Yikes…

Not me, but someone I worked with had an employee throw a cup of tea in his face, in his office, sitting at his desk. He just looked at the dude, dripping tea, and said ‘get out.’” @CntrlF8 What a waste of tea, though!

One guy who was fired for calling in saying his mom was in the hospital. He posted on facebook that he was going to a golf tournament. My district manager was good friends with his mother. What a guy, eh?” @mrpew17 Moral of the story: don’t bring Mom into this.

Working at Pizza Hut, I had a new delivery driver out on a snowy day. Seemed to be doing fine. Then I get a call from one of his deliveries where he was supposed to deliver to the community center desk. What he did was call them from his car and tell them to come get their pizza, he didn’t even get out of his car to hand it to them.” @SweatpantsDV It’s safe to say he didn’t get any tips that day.

She left behind incredibly bad, incredibly X-rated, incest riddled Supernatural fan fiction on my computer desktop.” @skynolongerblue Oops! Hopefully she learned to save that stuff for her personal computer in the future.

Dude came in very late and very high. I told him to leave and come back tomorrow, early and sober. He didn’t like that idea so he took a swing at me. Fell down. Fired.” @swagmeister23 Mistakes on mistakes on mistakes…

Lead Therapist here. One of my therapists was caught texting while she was giving a massage.” @Prettyfloralb0nnet Don’t text and massage, folks.

“This happened to a friend of mine. He worked for a kitchen supplies company that sold large equipment for restaurants. He basically just checked out and didn’t feel like doing much of anything after a certain point. Anyway, he was in sales and part of his job requires him to fill out these reports when he made a sale or something like that. He realized pretty quickly that no one would ever check them, so he ended up filling them out exclusively with Grateful Dead lyrics. No one caught on for quite a while until he went up for a promotion. During the promo process, management checked all of his reports and noticed what was going on. They fired him on the spot.” @mediocrescottt If the manager was a Deadhead, maybe things would have gone differently.

My dad’s got a good story about getting fired. When he was in college he worked at a Sears, and was the guy who called over the PA system to let the customers know when the store was closing. So he’d decided he’d finally had enough of working at Sears, and on what he decided his last day was he called through ‘The store will be closing in five minutes, vacate the premises or we will release the hounds.’” @BourbonBaccarat Having a sense of humor can get you in trouble!