We all go to Amazon at various times for a variety of reasons. Maybe you need the essentials: toilet paper, laundry detergent, giant bags of chocolate. Maybe you want to entertain yourself: books, movies, games. Perhaps it is time for you to indulge in a little bit of self-care: face masks, lotions, bath bombs, jewelry, string lights, scented candles, wine glasses, body massagers, pillows, blankets, tea... oh hi, there. Sorry. I got a little carried away.
But sometimes, you need something a little out there. Something a little out of the ordinary. A gift that will blow the socks off of your giftee. And believe it or not, Amazon is also the place for that! Whether you are partaking in a white elephant gift exchange or just have some strange family members, the weird items in this list make great (and hilarious) holiday gifts for the people in your life.
We hope you find these handy products as awesome as we do. Just an FYI: We participate in affiliate programs and may get a share of the revenue from your purchase.
This Portable Toilet
via: AmazonI don't know about you, but one of my biggest fears in life is being stuck somewhere without the ability to go to the bathroom. But with this nifty (and weird) disposable restroom poncho, that fear has disappeared! The kit comes with a privacy poncho, a pee bag with a unisex receiver cup, urine gels, and a zip-lock seal, and a poop bag with a harness catch system and leak-resistant disposal bag. It also comes with two moist wiping cloths, so with one of these, you can pretty much go anywhere at any time.
These Gel Foot Pads
via: AmazonIf you suffer from chronic foot pain, these gel pads might be the solution to all your problems. You get five pairs of these cushioned gel pads that protect the balls of your feet and slide over your toes to stay in place all day. They can be used under your socks and shoes too! They are perfect for athletes or people who work on their feet all day long.
via: AmazonPeople absolutely love the dramatic power of the Baby Foot Peel. About a week after one session of soaking your feet in the solution bags, dead skin will start falling off of your feet in chunks like you wouldn’t believe. I want that so bad. It’s almost like when you were little and would cover your fingers in glue and peel it off, but this time, it will be your skin.
This Candle for Lefties
via: AmazonI have seen a lot of strange scented candles in my life, but I have never seen a candle specifically made for lefties. As someone with a lot of lefties in my family, I know how difficult it can be. Although, none of my family members have ever had trouble lighting a candle... According to the product description, this candle is preschool paste scented and "smells like the weird scissors," so you know it will be totally nostalgic!
This Dad Belly Bag
via: AmazonIf you have a friend or a family member with a sense of humor, please buy this fanny pack for them this holiday season. It is such a hilarious gift that also happens to be kind of practical! And it comes in four different versions: This hairy dad bod, a tanned pack of abs, an extra hairy belly, and a weirdly soft and hairless belly that looks like a baby’s bald head.
These Teeth Whitening Sticks
via: AmazonOK, hear me out. Buy these little sticks that are totally natural, bite the end to fray the wood, and rub them on your teeth. I know. It sounds crazy, but I am not kidding when I say that these little sticks have crazy teeth whitening power. You don't need to use any water or toothpaste. Just the Miswak sticks. It is a totally natural toothbrush, and you can take it with you wherever because it comes with a convenient carrying case.
This Electronic Foot File
via: AmazonBuff away dead skin and calluses from your foot with this electronic foot file. If you have layers and layers of rough skin on your feet that need to come off, what are you going to do, sit there and scrub with a pumice stone or one of those cheese grater things until your arm falls off and you are sweating profusely? No. Treat yourself to this electronic device that will put in all the effort for you.
via: AmazonAll hail the Subtle Butt pads! If you are a big farter (just gotta come out and say it), these might come in handy for you. They are antimicrobial, activated charcoal pads that adhere right to your undergarments that filter out bad odors from your farts so you can toot without worrying about being the one caught when the people around you conduct their fart-vestigation.
via: AmazonFor how long have you been wishing and praying and hoping that one day you would be able to wear that stringy bathing suit from Borat? Well, ladies, that day has officially arrived, and we couldn't be more excited for you. And this one-piece swimsuit comes with the chest hair and all. Get ready to confuse everybody at the pool on your next vacation. It will be totally worth it.
This Pizza Pouch
via: AmazonOK, I for sure need at least one of these. The pizza pouch may seem like a silly, frivolous gift, but I do not see it that way. I need a way to transport my pizza hands-free, and this is it! Honestly, I would be such an embarrassment if someone bought this for me because I would actually use it like crazy, and no one would want to be seen in public with me. Their loss. I'll be the one with the pizza necklace.
This Anti-Chafe Balm
via: AmazonIf you apply some of this stuff on any area of your body that normally chafes, it won't! Your thighs, your arms, your neck, the back of your knees...whatever! It is made with natural, plant-based ingredients, and people totally swear by its effects. The reviews for this stuff are off the charts. Almost everyone has to deal with chafing on some area of their body. This is your solution.
These Toe Stretchers
via: AmazonSure, they might make you look weird, but YogaToes stretches and separates your toes to keep your feet healthy and strong. If you suffer from bunions or other foot pain like I do, these are for you. My sister has them and she totally swears by them, so I figure it’s time for me to get a pair of my own. You know…my birthday’s coming up!
via: AmazonLook, I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but if you live in a suburban town or relatively wooded area that attracts squirrels, you absolutely should invest in one of these squirrel feeders. You see, it is a good idea because then you can put it in your backyard and look at squirrels while they are eating out of it. And it's hilarious because the horse head looks like it's on the squirrel's head. It's called comedy. Learn it.
This Yodeling Pickle
via: AmazonThere is very little to say about this object other than that it is a yodeling pickle. I don't know what else to tell you. It is a pickle that yodels when you press the button that is on it. That is its only function. It does not even twist open into a pen or anything. It is just a pickle that yodels. And you know what? That should be enough.
These Lobster Claws
via: AmazonHaven't you ever wanted to pretend that you were a lobster? Well, now is your chance. These are large latex lobster claws that you can fit over your hands and pretend you are a lobster. The product description is brilliant and perfect and it sums up these lobster claws quite nicely: "These 14.5" long latex claws slip on over your hands like gloves and instantly make you more lobstery."
This Tiny Violin
via: AmazonIf you are someone who gets complained to a lot (maybe you are a department head, maybe you are the oldest sibling...), you would totally benefit from owning this tiny violin. When someone comes into your office and starts spouting nonsense, you can hold up your finger, take out this case, dramatically remove this tiny violin, and then start playing it for your petty friend.
This Abe Lincoln Chia Pet
via: AmazonChia pets are an underrated gag gift. They really are pretty hilarious! And what better famous personality to grow tiny greenery on the head of than Abraham Lincoln? I think this is the perfect way to respectfully honor the memory of this great figure in American history, the 16th President of the United States. Plus, he looks good with a bright green 'fro! It only takes 1-2 weeks to go out, too!
This Wine Glass That Holds a Whole Bottle
via: AmazonOh hell yes, I want this giant wine glass that holds an entire bottle. Sometimes you just have nights like that, and it can be embarrassing to go back and continue pouring. This thing solves that problem and more. It is actual glass, so you don't have to sacrifice an ounce of class when you finish off that bottle. This huge wine glass could also be great to use for homemade scorpion bowls (if you're in the mood to share).
via: AmazonI love a good stress-relief toy, and these little human heads are really something else. You get four in a pack, and they all have different expressions. I cannot for the life of me tell if these are supposed to be the faces of old men or small babies, but does it really matter? No! What matters is that they are cute and creepy and squishy and feel great to squeeze.
via: AmazonThis is a gift for the tea lover in your life who has a wicked sense of humor. The Teabagger Tea Infuser is a literal teabag, but it is also a teabag...if you catch my drift. If the fleshy color is a little too much for you, it comes in a "Blue Balls Edition" and a "Chocolate Lovers Edition." I particularly love claim in the product description: "This infuser is not just a gag gift; it actually makes tea." You heard it here first, folks.
via: AmazonSure, you could pay hundreds of dollars for a doctor to tell you that you have an ingrown toenail, or you can take the matter into your own hands (which you should only do if you sort of know what you are doing). This little metal tool sure is effective, though, and don't you worry. It comes with instructions. The people in the reviews who have done it says it's like a miracle worker for their painful ingrown toenails, and I believe it!
This Toilet Spray
via: AmazonWhile we are talking about gross stuff, get yourself a bottle of Poo-Pourri! You spray this stuff in the toilet bowl before you go number two, and no one will ever know that you dropped a big one. It is a blend of orange, lemon, bergamot, and lemongrass essential oils that will help stop bathroom odors before they even get started. This is an essential product.
This Tongue Cleaner
via: AmazonWe tend to forget that tongues need to be cleaned just like our teeth do. Well, with this tongue scraper, you will get down to the nitty-gritty of tongue cleaning. Dr. Tung's tongue cleaners are made out of stainless steel, so they'll last you a while. They are reusable, washable, and really effective. They will remove all the plaque and bacteria that build up on your tongue and contribute to your bad breath problems.
This Perky Wine Stopper
via: AmazonThis little guy is, uh, very excited to be your new wine stopper! I am very sorry to say this but his name is Sir Perky and there is nothing I can do to change that. The product description says Sir Perky is made out of "durable rock hard plastic" that "makes Happy Man ready for the job." If only all men were as happy to do their jobs as Sir Perky here *wink wink*.
This Book of Vegetables in Underwear
via: AmazonI do not understand why this book isn't a way bigger deal than it is. We must make this book a hit. It is literally a book full of illustrations of vegetables wearing underwear. It is not deeper than that. There is barely any text. Just a bunch of adorable anthropomorphic veggies in their skivvies. You have to see the potato. It has the cutest little butt.
This Pizza Beach Blanket
via: AmazonIf you learned anything from my pizza pouch rant, it is that I love pizza. And chances are you do too. Pizza is the best. And that is why you need this oversized pizza blanket to bring to the beach and make everyone jealous. It will fulfill your secret lifetime wish to become a pizza topping. If for some ungodly reason you're not a huge pizza fan, they have so many other adorable beach blankets, including an avocado, a rainbow, a pineapple, and a popsicle.
This Willy Warmer
via: AmazonThis is the Willy Warmer! Also known as a "heater for your peter." It is the perfect stocking stuffer or gag gift for the guy who has everything...but suffers from a slight chill down there. If you have some rather prudish family members, you can always claim that the Willy Warmer is actually a mitten for someone with a very large thumb. I don't know your family!
This Hair Removal Tool
via: AmazonMaybe you have a little more facial hair than you would like. Well, with this facial hair remover, you will be back to yourself in no time. this battery-powered miracle product is painless and instantly removes hair from your lips, chin, or cheeks. It is super gentle, which means no more red bumps or irritated skin from shaving. Its head spins super fast, cutting the hair painlessly and easily.
This Himalayan Salt Lamp
via: AmazonPeople swear by the healing and relaxing effects of Himalayan salt. Just having this lamp in your living space has a soothing and calming effect on anyone who happens to be around it. Seriously! Many have reported getting a better night's sleep once they have the Himayalan salt crystal lamp in their room. It also looks great and gives off such a soft and lovely glow.
This Carbonated Clay Mask
via: AmazonNot only will this carbonated clay mask make your skin feel smooth and fresh and healthy, but it is carbonated, so it will literally bubble on your skin and make you look like an adorable rock monster! I swear, you won’t be able to apply this to your face without giggling. And yes, it really works. People love this stuff, and not just because of the bubbles (although that is a big plus).
via: AmazonWhat if I told you this little chapstick looking thing could help you cure your migraines? I know, right? But it is true! This is a roll-on bottle of a natural mix of essential oils that are supposed to help with migraines. Peppermint, spearmint, and lavender oils combine with coconut oil to create a natural mixture that, when rubbed on your temples, forehead, and neck, will help stop migraines in their tracks.