Out of all of the advancements we have made over the past century, I have to say that online shopping is easily one of my favorites. It’s super easy, super convenient, and, if I’m being totally honest, also a lot of fun! (Who hasn’t spent a little bit of time scrolling around Amazon and crafting a wish list of what you want to buy when you have a little extra cash to spend?)
But there’s another reason online shopping is the best thing ever. It gives you the ability to order embarrassing products without having to go out in public and interact with other humans. Not only that, but the embarrassing products arrive right outside your door in an inconspicuous brown box and no one is the wiser. As far as I’m concerned, ordering embarrassing stuff is basically the reason the Internet was invented. Here are a bunch of embarrassing products you can buy straight from Amazon. Lucky you!
The Belly Bandit Will Put an End to Embarrassing Boob Sweat
OK, we need to talk about boob sweat for a sec. It’s a fact of life, and it’s super annoying. We all know how frustrating, uncomfortable, and embarrassing it can be to look in the mirror and see a little sweat puddle right smack dab in the middle of your chest. That won’t happen if you have one of these things.
All you have to do is place one of these bra liners directly under your bra, and it will wick away the sweat before it gets to your shirt. It’s super discreet and made from ultra-soft bamboo fibers that won’t irritate sensitive skin.
This Toilet Plunger Is Actually a Huge Sticker
You may have had a sticker collection when you were growing up, but I’m betting you never had anything as useful as the Acogedor Sticker Plunger.
Next time your toilet is clogged, use one of these stickers instead of a traditional plunger. The sticker creates an airtight seal around the toilet bowl, allowing you to plunge with more pressure and easily unclog your toilet.
Sweaty Hands? Try This Lotion
This antiperspirant hand lotion was specifically designed to put an end to sweaty, clammy hands. If you tend to avoid handshakes like the plague, this lotion may just put an end to that. All you have to do is rub a pea-sized amount of the lotion into your hands and voila! Sweatiness and clamminess will disappear! The lotion isn’t greasy at all, and will even moisturize your hands!
This Foot Spray Will Stop the Stink
Some people just have smelly feet. Those people need Elite Foot Spray. It doesn’t just cover up the odor; it actually kills the bacteria that are responsible for the smell. The mix of seven essential oils and 11 herbs and botanicals work together to create some fresh-smelling tootsies that won’t offend the noses of everyone around you. The spray also moisturizes and repairs dry, cracked feet!
You can even spray your shoes to eliminate smelliness. Or…
…You Can Use These Air Purifying Bags Instead!
They’re filled with activated bamboo charcoal which absorbs all kinds of funky smells and leaves the air smelling fresh. Stick them in your shoes, hang them in your closet, or leave one in your car — any place that tends to get a little musty will be freshened up in no time! They don’t contain any fragrance themselves; they just make it easier than ever to maintain a fresh, dry, odorless environment.
This Wand Massager
Look, you can use this to massage your neck or your back or whatever, but we all know that this is a vibrator, built for lady pleasure, and you obviously need one. It is wireless, rechargeable, has 20 different vibration patterns and speeds, and is totally water resistant. I think this one line review from a guy named Tim says it all: “My wife no longer needs me.”
This Lotion Is Made for Your Boobs!
Know what’s annoying and painful? Going for a run and experiencing chafing from your sports bra. Seriously, why is that even a thing?!
Luckily, this lotion can help. When applied, it’s a soothing cream. It then dries into a cooling, silky powder that protects you from painful chafing. It also prevents sweating, which is an excellent bonus! The lotion is talc-free, paraben-free, and aluminum-free, and it’s not tested on animals.
And for the fellas…
There’s Also This Lotion for Your Groin Area
Everything that last lotion accomplishes for the boob area is also accomplished by this stuff for your, um, downstairs bits. Once again, it’s free of talc, parabens, and aluminum. It goes on as a soothing cream and dries into a cooling, silky powder that eliminates uncomfortable chafing and prevents any…swampiness. If this isn’t the perfect example of something that’s better to buy from the comfort and discretion of your own home, then I don’t know what is.
The BakBlade 2.0 Is a Great Option for Your Manscaping Needs
The BakBlade is a revolutionary product that lets you shave your own back without dislocating your shoulder or asking someone else for help.
It features a 4.5-inch-wide blade to help you shave your entire back in just a matter of minutes. The blade also detaches, meaning you can use it on your arms and shoulders, too. It also features DRYGLIDE technology that lets you shave wet or dry!
These Armpit Sweat Pads Are Another Option for Sweaty People
This roll of sweat-absorbing material can be easily trimmed to size and used to stop embarrassing sweat stains from ruining your clothes. Simply trim a piece of the material, peel off the backing, and stick the completely transparent pad directly to your armpit. It’s also stretchy, meaning it moves with your body in order to provide the most comfortable sweat-blocking barrier.
This Odor-Removing Gel Works Like a Charm
My husband and I recently adopted a puppy and we were very concerned with trying to keep our home from smelling like dog all the time. No joke: one jar of this stuff set on top of a bookshelf completely eliminates all of the doggy smell for a couple of months. The magical gel has a very subtle scent of its own that disappears after about an hour, then you completely forget about it. It’s also totally non-toxic and safe to use around pets and kids. Seriously. I cannot recommend this gel highly enough!
Get Your Toilet *Extra* Clean with Pumie
Sometimes it seems that no matter how hard you scrub your toilet bowl, you’re still left with a ring around the water line. Pumie is a tool made for the job of removing that ring. The pumice stone is safe to use around children and pets, which is a great bonus. Another bonus? The built-in handle that allows you to scrub the ring off without getting your hands dirty.
This Mouth Rinse Eliminates Bad Breath
If you’ve noticed people standing farther away from you when you talk…it might be time to consider using a mouthwash. This one is specially formulated to prevent bad breath.
It neutralizes sulfur-producing bacteria and destroys morning breath — clinical studies have shown that it can eliminate odor for up to 24 hours! And it doesn’t burn your mouth to bits, either.
This Tongue Scraper Is Another Tool for Eliminating Bad Breath
You can brush your teeth all you want (and you should!), but your tongue is actually a main source of bacteria that causes bad breath. Using your toothbrush on your tongue is a good start, but if you really wanna get that stinky gunk out of your mouth, you should opt for a tongue scraper like this one. With just a few scrapes, your tongue will be clean and your breath will be fresh!
This Root Cover-Up Spray Is Kind of Like Spray Paint for Your Hair
If your roots are due for a touch up but you can’t get to a salon (or you just don’t feel like it), this spray has got you covered. Literally. Just shake it, hold it about 6 inches from your scalp and spray the gray away! It won’t leave behind any residue or stickiness and it lasts until your next shampoo. This spray can be used on all hair types and textures. Pretty genius, right?
This Synthetic Bun Hair Extension Is Pretty Sneaky!
I am a 28-year-old woman who still has not really perfected the messy bun look. (I mean, I can make a messy bun, but not one that looks presentable). If you feel like wearing a bun but don’t have the hair or the know-how to make it happen, then this fake bun extension is for you! It comes in 32 different colors so you’re sure to find one that matches your own hair color. Easily add some volume to your look!
This Hair Powder Can Help Disguise Balding and Thinning!
If you’ve noticed your hair is thinning and you want to do something about it, you totally can. This powder can be applied to fill in any thinning areas or bald spots without looking super obvious. You can also use it to cover gray hair (either on your scalp or in your beard or mustache). It won’t rub off or stain your clothing, but it is easily removed with shampoo!
Got Warts? Try This Wart Remover!
It has pretty great reviews and a dedicated following of people who swear by the stuff. This liquid wart remover comes in a bottle with a dropper that lets you apply the treatment directly at the source. It instantly begins attacking the wart minutes after application, and most warts will begin to die after 3 to 5 days of the initial application.
This Foot File Is for Heavy Duty Jobs
OK, I know what you’re thinking. You’ve seen plenty of foot files in the world and were all like, “Bah! That little thing might work for normal-footed people, but I’ve got calluses on my heels that could drive in a nail!”
Don’t you worry. You can take care of them in about 5 minutes. This foot file has a huge surface area and it literally shaves calluses and dead skin from your feet with a basic back-and-forth motion (much like you’d use to, ah, grate a hard cheese). If you’re still not convinced, read through the glowing reviews.
Use This Tonsil Stone Remover to Get Rid of Those Pesky Stones!
If you’ve never had a tonsil stone, go ahead and count your lucky stars. They’re the pits.
If you have had a tonsil stone, you know how annoying it can be to remove them without gagging and feeling awful. This tool comes with a built-in LED light to help you see exactly where the tonsil stone is. It also has a soft silicone cap for added comfort. Next time you find one of those pesky crags, you’ll be glad to have this tool in your medicine cabinet.
This Earwax Removal Tool Is Seriously the Bee’s Knees
If you’re still using a Q-tip to clean the wax from your ears, it’s time for an upgrade (also, you’re not supposed to use Q-tips for that! It’s dangerous!).
The Ototek loop has a guard on it that keeps you from reaching too deep into your ear canal. But the tiny loop on the end is brilliant when it comes to scraping out earwax.
The Squatty Potty Will Make Your Poops Better
If you haven’t tried a Squatty Potty yet, it’s time to catch up with the rest of the world. Humans are meant to squat while pooping. Once you do, well, you’ll never want to go back to the old way. The Squatty Potty is a plastic stepstool made expressly for the purpose of propping your legs up into a squat while you take care of business.
Everybody Poops. Ergo, Everybody Should Have Some Poo-Pourri at Their Disposal
Comedic name aside, this stuff is basically manna from heaven…if manna was a toilet spray specially formulated to make your trips to the bathroom less stinky.
Simply spritz the stuff in the toilet before you go, and it creates a film on the surface of the toilet water that traps scents within the toilet. No more smelly candles. No more “lighting a match.” Just spritz, poo, and enjoy your life.
This Hair Trimmer Is Battery-Free
Yep, you read that right. You just insert the trimmer into your nose (or ear!) and spin the bottom half, quickly and painlessly trimming hair. It doesn’t yank the hairs out, so it’s also totally pain-free.
Put an end to those errant hairs poking out of your nostrils or ear canals without having a buzzing monstrosity all up in your business. This trimmer also comes with a limited lifetime guarantee, so you’ll only have to buy it once.
Every Dude Needs Some Dude Wipes
(Although they also work great for dudettes!)
Sometimes, toilet paper just doesn’t cut it. I mean, you’d never rub your hands with dry paper and call them clean, would you? Of course not. There are some experiences that call for a wet wipe. Dude Wipes are 100 percent flushable. They’re also 25 percent larger than the average flushable wipe. They’re unscented and contain naturally soothing aloe vera and vitamin E to leave you feeling fresh and clean.
Gotta Go? Then You’re Gonna Need a Travel John
This travel kit is ideal for times when you have to “go” but don’t have access to a restroom. Like when you’re camping, at a music festival, or on a road trip with no access to facilities.
Each pack comes with a unisex pee bag containing all that you need for an emergency pit stop.
Need Some Practice with Your Times Tables? Grab Some Flash Cards!
I know most of these products are for embarrassing body-related issues, but the truth is that not knowing simple multiplication facts can also land you in some embarrassing situations!
These good old-fashioned flash cards are self-checking (meaning you can easily see whether your answer is correct) and they cover all your multiplication tables up to 12×12. It’s time to get those times tables memorized for good!
These Kegel Weights Will Change Your Life
When’s the last time you did some kegel exercises? If the answer isn’t “5 minutes ago,” then you should probably start right now.
This kegel exercise system comes with six different weights that will help you strengthen your pelvic muscles for better bladder control, labor recovery, and confidence. Since this probably isn’t the kind of thing you want to waltz into a store and ask for, Amazon is here to help!
Keep Your Tush Protected with These Toilet Seat Covers
You never know when you’re going to wind up in a bathroom that doesn’t have toilet seat covers, and that’s not exactly the kind of thing you want to go without (although it’s definitely better than not having toilet paper!). This listing is for a pack of 60 sheets, which are split into packs of 20 sheets. Each package is just about the size of a wallet, so it’s easily slipped into your pocket or purse.
These Hand Soap Sheets Are Another Great Thing to Keep in Your Purse
You also don’t want to stuck in a bathroom without soap, but having these soap sheets on hand will save you next time you are! Just remove a single sheet from the pack (using a dry hand) and wash your hand with it (it dissolves in water). Another great bonus is that this pack of soap sheets is carry-on compliant, so if you’re a frequent traveler, it’s definitely worth it to pick up!
Relieve Hemorrhoid Symptoms with This Sitz Bath Soak
Hey, hemorrhoids sure do suck! The only thing that sucks more is having to go to a store and announce to everyone around you that you need hemorrhoid relief! That’s why we recommend just getting this bath soak online. It contains Epsom salt, juniper essential oil, and Niaouli essential oil to reduce pain and tension and increase blood flow.
The Magic Gel Wedge Is Also Great for Hemorrhoid Sufferers
Its unique, wedge-shaped design allows you to put it…exactly where you want to, if you know what I mean.
Store the Magic Gel ice pack in the freezer so it’s ready to use whenever you need it. This listing is for a pack of two wedges, meaning you can always have one prepped and ready to go. They also come with a storage case to keep everything as hygienic as possible.