35 'Mens' Products That Deserve Every SINGLE Eyeroll | 22 Words

In case you missed it, gender has become super topical recently.

Explorations of the feminine, masculine, trans, and gender-queer perspectives have sparked heated debates all over the world. As certain voices (aka non-male voices) begin growing stronger, quintessential 1950s-esk conservative masculinity has started seemingly grasping at straws, desperately trying to maintain its steady bearings within popular culture.

Our proof? These thirty-five "mens" products that feel completely arbitrarily "mens."

However you identify, this list is seriously cray. I didn't want to keep reading, but also I seriously needed to know more.

Old Spice Swagger

via: Tumblr

Man sized swag. The size of men. Because men have their own size. DUH.

Prayers for Men

via: Tumblr

I hope these are mostly prayers for less B.O. I feel like less B.O. could really turn masculinity's endurance prospects around. You know, that, and also a complete revamp of what it means to be a man in modern society...but baby steps.

Man Chocolate

Trust us. You don't want to take this from us.

Hearty Man Salad

via: Tumblr

Also known as a heart attack salad. Also, what is "tasty cheese"?

Meggings

via: Tumblr

So, quick follow up question...when are we gonna start seeing all the body-shaming posts about men wearing their meggings in public and meggings not being pants? Never? Cool.

Mansize Kleenex

via: Tumblr

For the manliest sneezing ever. Jk. No need to lie to each other. We all know what these are for.

Manitizer

via: Twitter

For after you use those "Mansize Kleenex." *Facepalm*

Man Grenade Bath Blaster

Guys... Why?

Colgate Max White For Men

Because I want healthy white teeth... ...but also, I'm a man and STOP FORGETTING. (literally no one's forgetting)

Men's Bread

Super crumbly. Much like everything else on this whole freakin' list.

A Man's Daiquiri Has Its Limits

I'd like to submit a formal apology to all of the world's cups. You've done nothing but help us drink things and eat the occasional snack of cereal when all our bowls were dirty. You didn't deserve to get caught up in all this.

The Bronut

via: Bored Panda

Snack like a man. Or else.

Extreme Dude Drink

via: Bored Panda

This drink looks...weird. Men, y'all can have this one.

ManCandles

Man-dles. Aro-man-therapy. I mean, guys, if you really wanted to go there...go there.

Man Bowl: The Dog Bowl For Men

via: Bored Panda

Now men are closing in on dogs too?! It's happening. The Bropocalyse is upon us.

Men's Pocky

via: Tumblr

Nooooooooooooooooo! Not Pocky! I LOVE Pocky! Ugh.

This Bro Dog With Bows

via: Tumblr

People feel so heated about this! Guys, he feels fine. Cool it.

Q-Tips For Men

Jamming wax even further down mens' ear canals left and right. Maybe this is why they're never listening...

Radox For Men in Heroic and Strong

Official shampoo of Prince Charmings everywhere, guys. *Vomits*

Buddhism For Dudes

For dudes who are sick and tired of chicks with the nerve to seek Nirvana. Riiight?

Even Loofahs Have Become Gendered

Anyone who would rather use a "Men's Bath Sponge" over a "Cleansing Bath Pouf" is just lying to themselves. Case closed.

Big Brick of Men's Soap

Big like a brick, because... Women lifting bricks? Fugetaboutit!

The "Bros Gold" iPhone

via: Tumblr

You too, Apple? Geeeeeeez.

Earplug Battle of the Sexes

These boxes are just so telling. They hurt my heart.

Man Therapy

"No, not just the hippies." Where's the button to com-mute this psychobabble?

The Man Game

via: Tumblr

That warning. I can't.

The Ultimate Valentine For Men

via: Tumblr

A romantic gesture strong enough... ...to keep masculinity's crumbling infrastructure intact.

The Crochet Dude

A truthstorm is coming. Alright men, time to scarf up!

Boys' Fairy Tales

via: Tumblr

All the childhood stories you love... ...sans anything even remotely intersectional.

Man Sized Bag of Crushed Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips

via: Tumblr

Just big enough... ...to seriously salt any man's game.

Specialty Paper for Men

Paper. Super gendered.

Make-Up For Men

via: Tumblr

Now men are brutally criticizing their own bodies? C'mon guys, that was our thing!

One Store, Two Fronts

The adult version... ...of the "no girls allowed" treehouse.

Bounce For Men

Seriously? Seriously?

And Finally...Water For Men

via: Twitter

*Buys in bulk* *Hands out at any and all future women's marching events*