I have a plethora of lists on Amazon, with titles ranging from “Kitchen Stuff” to “Tech Stuff” to the most important, which is “Stuff I Want But Don’t Have Yet Because I Don’t Really Need It Or I Can't Justify Replacing a Similar Thing I Already Have Or I Probably Shouldn't Spend Rent Money On Stuff Other Than Rent (Again).” This is where I put all the things that trip my trigger that I see on other searches, hear about from friends, read about in some rando article, or have actually always wanted and never bought.
And now you can take a little peek at 37 of those things, which barely scratches the surface of this folder, which currently holds links to over 200 doodads and whatchamacallits that I could have in two days or so should I ever decide that my wants are now synonymous with my needs. That is a day that Amazon is awaiting with the same eager anticipation as my spouse, except with my spouse “eager anticipation” would probably be replaced with “dread."
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Time To Upgrade To This Bluetooth Speaker
via: AmazonBecause my current workhorse is now so old that it’s really a long-in-the-bluetooth speaker. Because it’s so old now that it’s more of a BlueDenture speaker. Because it’s so old now that it’s closer to a BluehairTooth speaker. Okay. I’m done. Mostly. This little speaker from Cambridge Soundworks features crystal clear stereo sound, Rich Bass, 100ft wireless range, a microphone, and IPX5, which means it can resist a sustained, low-pressure water jet spray. Mine can’t even resist crying during Beaches. But don’t take my word for it, because I don’t yet own one. Take the word of 34,000 freakin’ satisfied customers and a 4.5 star average review.
Because Coffee, This Awesomely Elegant French Press
via: AmazonThe most Zen way to make a great cup of coffee, the French Press is an exercise in the art of the process. It doesn’t hurt that it’s beautiful to look at either. Why don’t I already own this thing? Good question. I’m too ensconced in my old ways and too space-poor to have more than one coffee maker. Time to upgrade the house, the kitchen, and the coffee.
This Dual Drive Is Hands Down The Handiest Mobile Accessory I’ve Seen
via: AmazonSo your phone doesn’t have an SD slot, you take a zillion pictures, and you don’t trust “The Cloud" because why should you? Every other day I read about tens of millions of people having their data hacked, and every connection you have to the great storage bin in the sky makes your exposure that much greater. This dual drive plugs directly into your phone’s micro USB port on the one side, and directly into a standard USB port on the other, making data transfer and viewing safe and easy. Great for mp3 listening and sharing as well.
I’m Tired Of Sleeping… In A Heavy-Ass Sleeping Bag In The Middle Of Summer
via: AmazonSo my husband is a (camping) nut, so we go camping a few times each year, and the summer outings are… well, summery. That means that when it’s time to sack down my choices are to leave myself open to the elements (bugs) or climb into my sleeping bag, which I believe is designed to keep me warm on Mount Everest. Oh, and I have to haul the dumb thing around, too. This tiny, lightweight summer sleeping bag is going to solve all those problems. Cough cough, gift idea, cough cough.
No Cell Service On That Hike? These Walkie Talkies Are The Answer To Your Walking And Talking Needs
via: AmazonAs I mentioned, my husband likes to camp. He also likes to hike, and the more desolate and remote the site the better - for him, anyway. The biggest problem we’ve run into on these jaunts is that we have no reliable means of communicating with each other should we become separated, and the same goes for contacting emergency services in the event of… an emergency. With a 36 mile range, multiple weather channels, and activity scan, these two-way radios are just what we need for a safer and more stress-free adventure.
This Sling Bag Is Way Better Than My Current Junky Backpack
via: AmazonFor one thing, my bag is not water resistant in any way, and this is. For another thing, my bag has dumb double straps and never sits right on my shoulder unless I put it all the way on both arms. For a third thing, this has a padded sleeve inside built especially to house my very-important-to-my-livelihood laptop, as well as a couple of external padded pockets for other whatnottery. And finally, this sling bag looks tight and sporty. My current one looks like someone killed an overweight Sneetch and inelegantly carved it up using lefty scissors, holding everything together with bits of chewing gum and staples.
For The Woman Who Has Everything, Including Caveperson Feet, This Electric Callous Remover
via: AmazonCallouses. That’s what two or three decades (who’s counting?) of bipedal living will do to your formerly baby-soft feeties. With this zippy little tool I could have my feet feeling like new again in no time. Runs for 40 minutes on an 8 hour charge, so you can take it anywhere, like outside, so you don’t have a pile of foot dust to clean up afterwards. Now If I can just get someone to pamper my peds for me like the dude in the picture.
I’ve Got To Get A New Notebook, And This Bullet Journal Set Is Calling My Name
via: AmazonIt’s got everything, and as a former school supply junkie, I can say with confidence that everything is what I want from my notebooks. With 15 colored fineliner pens for easy categorization and list making (my favorite passtime), reusable stencils, sticker sheets, washi tape, glue tape, and a black gel writing pen, what more could you ask for? An actual notebook journal you say? Fortunately this journal set comes with a journal too. A dotted, hardcover premium thick paper bullet journal, to be exact.
I’m Going To Need This Security/Pet Camera Pretty Much Right Now
via: AmazonThis camera looks amazing, and gets reviews to match. These days it’s almost a necessity to have a camera or ten trained on various areas of your home and property, and this is a great choice for security and peace of mind. But I’ve got to be honest: I need this so I can yell at my cats when they get on my dining room table, which I can do with the motion detection/night vision couple with the two-way audio feature. Meow we’re talking.
I’m Fresh Out Of Youth Serum, But Luckily Amazon Has This Almond Oil
via: AmazonIt’s so un-PC for the woke to bathe in the blood of the innocent these days, so what’s a slightly older than 29 girl to do? Clearly just letting nature take its course would be the easiest thing... but vanity. So, along came this almond oil with its plethora of essential vitamins and said “Take me, my Queen" and I was all, “Okay. Let me work you into my budget."
And How Will I Really Feel Like I’m At The Spa Without A Stupid-Comfy Bath Robe ?
via: AmazonAll-season fleece, a hood and pockets mean I could just wear this sweet robe everywhere, right? It’s gorgeous, soft, fuzzy, warm, and it comes in three colors. But why choose? I should have one for every occasion, and for when one is in the wash, right? You say wrong, but what do you know, you bathrobe-less neanderthal? And it’s from Kemusi’s new spa collection, which is way newer than their old spa collection.
Because Summer Movie Night Will Be So Much Better If I Have This Projection Screen
via: AmazonThis screen is 100 real live inches from corner to corner, not 100 m.i. (man inches), ahem. It’s portable, wrinkle and mildew resistant, and it’s easy to clean. Sign me up. Big enough to charge admission to that late night screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, or whatever the kids are watching these days. Don’t forget the rice and water pistols.
I Need These Solar Torches Because My Old Ones Are Lame By Comparison
via: AmazonBecause these are solar TORCH lights, not just regular old LEDs like the ones lining our patio. You know - the ones from the garage sale down the street that've lasted plenty long enough to justify buying these very sweet ones that have the ability to charge from a power source on cloudy days. These ones that look like they house a real flame, and give off enough light to actually navigate a path by. These ones that have three modes of operation, rather than just one half-baked sort-of light mode. Not that I’ve got any complaints about the ones I have.
There’s Nothing Like The Tactile Sensation Of A Physical Keyboard, And So… This Keyboard Case For My iPad Would Be Nice
via: AmazonBecause the onscreen keyboard is lame and should go back to the scalding nether pits from whence it came. Everyone knows this, but they all try to act like it’s fine, and it isn’t. If you need more convincing, this keyboard has seven different backlight colors and three brightness options, plus it’s a case as well. Two birds with one stone and all that.
Oh My Goodness This Rainshower Showerhead Is My Heart’s Second Desire
via: AmazonBecause first place is already taken by the frozen drink maker that’s coming up in this list. Sorry to the love of my life, but this is a list of stuff I want that I DON’T already have. This one is pretty straightforward. It’s a rainshower in your shower that you shower under like you were out in a concentrated and bathwater warm rainshower of shower proportions. Tool-free installation, easy to change water pressure to go green or to go spa (that’s decidedly less eco-friendly), and it’s got self-cleaning nozzles. Bam.
I’d Like This Compact Dehumidifier To Dry Some Stuff Out Around Here Already
via: AmazonFor real, this miniscule dehumidifier is perfect for closets where you keep wet weather gear such as raincoats, boots, snowpants and so forth, but it’s also great for boats, gun safes, or any other smaller area that you need to keep dry. It comes in four sizes, covering up to 100 cubic feet, and it also comes with a LIFETIME warranty.
This LED Kit Would Really Bring My Kitchen Into The 20th Century
via: AmazonYes, I know this is the 21st century, but I’m still playing a bit of catch up. You see, or rather you don’t see because it’s too dark, my kitchen was designed by someone who hated light. Two ceiling lights, that’s it. Wellllllll, that sucks. These lights come in warm or daylight color temperatures, they’re linkable, they have motion sensing capabilities for those late night snack runs, and they use next to no electricity.
Because I Don’t Always Think Ahead, I Would Like This (Nearly) Instant Beverage Chiller, Thank You Very Much
via: AmazonI enjoy drinks of nearly every sort, but I have a serious pet peeve about under-chilled libations, which this HyperChiller will take care of. From iced coffee to beer to (gasp) wine, I like my liquids ice-fricking-cold. No, I don’t care if red wine is supposed to be served at room temperature. No I don’t care if the Europeans drink beer at 53 degrees or whatever. THAT’S TOO WARM. What are we, animals???
I Love Me Some Pasta, And I’d Love Me This Pasta Maker
via: AmazonIt’s made in Italy, which I hear is the birthplace of pasta. It’s beautiful, like Italy. It’s got Old World charm, a hand crank, a pasta cutter, and instructions. So you and I both are just shipping time away from making honest-to-goodness homemade spaghetti with our own dang pasta maker. Mamma mia, that sounds delightful.
It’s Going To Be Summer Someday And I Am Going To Need Frozen Margaritas
via: AmazonI got to try one of these margarita makers at a friend’s last year and have wanted one ever since. Those frozen concoctions that help me hang on are so much easier to make with this machine doing all the heavy lifting. As a bonus, the drinks this thing makes are so cold that I can’t really drink them too fast lest I risk the dreaded brain freeze. For your convenience it’s got a mixing tool that makes it EVEN EASIER to make pina coladas, daiquiris, and margaritas. Don’t forget to tip your bartender.
Keep Things Cool With This Patio Table Cooler Combo
via: AmazonI love things that have more than one purpose for existing, and this table is a perfect example of the kind of dual purpose ingenuity that brought us out of the dark ages. Imagine a time when you couldn’t just reach into a table (yes, I said INTO A TABLE) and grab an ice cold beverage. Awful, I know, but don’t worry because this stylish little number has you covered. Comes in four colors and two styles, and as if you needed more incentive imagine not having to ask that lazy chump (I think he’s a friend of the neighbors) to get his butt off the damn cooler already.
When I Pimp My Patio I’ll Want/Need This Misting Fan
via: AmazonIt’s just so hot out there in the dead of summer, but we love hanging out on the porch and the patio. What’s a person who doesn’t like melting in the sun to do? Get yourself one of these awesome misting fans, that’s what. It’s got several speeds for fine tuning your breeze experience, and the mist feature can reduce the ambient temperature by 25 degrees. That’s a significant number. Imagine 100 feeling like 75 and you’re in the ballpark, because maths.
Call Me The Cake Boss With This Set Of Springform Baking Pans
via: AmazonMost of my cake baking adventures with my daughter are exercises in trial and error. I’ve found that my biggest complaint has been trying to clean my old round pans that have the whatsitcalled that spins around to free the cake. It’s impossible to clean under that thing, and those pans are all the same size, so our ventures have been stymied by a lack of variety. Not so with these springform pans, which are very reasonably priced and why don’t I already have them?? Because honestly, I DO have them but I realized last weekend that I need another set because THAT is how awesome they are. Comes with three pan sizes, two icing spatulas and three icing texturizer/smoothers.
We’re Back Out On The Patio Again, But Now It’s Cold And I Need This Heater
via: AmazonIt’s a 46,000 BTU patio heater, to take the edge off those chilly autumn evenings. Heck, these days any evening any day of the year could be heater worthy, depending on what mood the jetstream is in. Around here we like to take full advantage of every opportunity to spend time outdoors, and sometimes that means braving the cold. This industrial but attractive hunk of metal really cranks out the warmth, meaning I don’t have to crank out the scarves, and it runs on the same propane tanks as our gas grill. Score.
Still On The Patio With This Offset Umbrella - I Sense A Theme
via: AmazonSo I guess I’ve got a pretty robust patio-related wishlist right now. This umbrella would be a nice upgrade from the super annoying one that currently resides in the middle of our outdoor table. Come to think of it, I should find a new patio table on Amazon too. But I digress. This umbrella is a cinch to open and close, and a ten foot diameter means that you can cover the whole crew in sun-shielding bliss at your next summer brunch.
To Assuage My Paranoia I’d Like This Magnetic Stash Box Safe Thing
via: AmazonI have a number of phobias, like of drowning, crisping up in a fire, and of dying in a tragic vending machine accident. Another slightly less macabre one is getting locked out of my car in a strange city and having to wait for however long it takes for someone to bring me a spare key already. This rad little waterproof case is made with super strong magnets so you can put your keys, emergency cash, medications, or whatever in it and just slap it under your car. Hopefully I’ll never need it, but if I do I hope I’ve bought one by then.
Because Playing Drunk, Stoned Or Stupid Sounds Like Fun
via: AmazonI guess I’ll leave the “stupid" part to someone else, but this party game based on the hit Most Likely To is a surefire way to spice up that ten year reunion, or even your weekly book club. In it you decide which of the situational cards apply most to whom, and the loser is the chump (or chumpette) who ends up tagged with the most cards. I especially love the disclaimer about how you shouldn’t play if your feelings are easily hurt - like if you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, for instance.
Okay, I’m Capitulating And Adding The Dang Nintendo Switch To My Want List
via: AmazonI’ve seen this thing in action too many times not to want one for myself… err, for the kids I mean. I’m sure I’m the last person on the planet to realize how awesome the Switch is, but I was sold on it the minute I saw my kids and their cousins quietly amusing themselves at a restaurant with the portable handheld mode. It’s like we’re living in the future. Or rather, it’s like I’ve put living in the future on my Amazon wishlist.
Now That I’m Adulting I’d Like These Grown-Up Art Markers Please
via: AmazonThe kids and I watch a lot of animators on the YouTube these days, and one thing I’m always pining for at the end of a video is a set of the badazz markers that professional illustrators use. This set scratches that itch, on much more budget friendly terms, and it does so with 72 double tipped markers. Okay, 71 and a colorless blending marker. That would assuage me long enough to remind me that I’m not a professional artist by any stretch of my very stretchy imagination. Or maybe I am and I just don’t know it yet.
Speaking Of Art, I’d Like To Carve Out My Own Niche With These Sculpting Tools
via: AmazonI bought a block of sculpting clay from Amazon a year ago, and it’s still sitting in my basement waiting to be transformed into the modern Venus de Milo or whatever. Why? Because I realized that I had no tools with which to sculpt other than an old butter knife and a two-tined fork. This kit o' sculpting tools would remove all excuses from the equation and allow that clay to fulfill its destiny… of being an ashtray. Or a change bowl. Either should be easy with these 42 precision tipped cleaning, smoothing, shaping and carving tools.
I’m In Love With This eTypewriter That Connects To A PC Or Tablet
via: AmazonThere’s something about an old fashioned manual typewriter that captures the romance of writing like nothing else. As a writer, I have a special place in my heart for the feel of those keys under my fingers and the sound of the letters striking their imprint onto the page. What I do not have is a fondness for trying to correct a typo with half-dried white-out, or that correction tape junk. I’d like to enjoy the best of both worlds, thank you, and this QwerkyWriter can help me achieve that goal.
I Crave Calmness But I Need A Zen Guide, And This Muse Headband Promises To Show Me The Way
via: AmazonIt’s a little hocus pocus, but the science behind it seems to be built on a sturdy foundation. This device goes on your head like some sort of Star Trek banana clip, and it reads your brain activity, or at least it measures the electrical activity in your head. It also monitors your heart rate and motion and gives you updates and suggestions for taking yourself to new levels of transcendence and placidity. If it works even half as well as they claim it’s worth it.
If That Meditation Band Doesn’t Work Then Screw Calmness And Give Me Noise Cancelling Headphones So I Can Work Out My Tensions The Old Fashioned Way
via: AmazonI guess I could use these active noise cancelling wireless headphones to listen to something new age-y, but I’m not looking to drive myself into an Enya-induced coma. Rather, I shall use them to kick out my jams, and whilst so doing I may even partake in some dancing, getting jiggy with it, or whatever. These come with the usual bells and whistles, from hands-free calling to deep bass, with 30 hours of playtime per charge I should have all the time I need to commune with my inner DJ.
I’m Gonna Need A New Exercise Mat And I’ve Got My Eye On This One
via: AmazonI’m not telling you what to do about your woefully inadequate exercise mat, but if I WERE telling you I’d tell you to get this nice, thick, juicy burger. Wait. No. Not a burger. This thick exercise mat that gives you a stable, no-slip, super-sized workout surface no matter what you’re into these days. Between P90X, TAM, Zumba, kickboxing, box kicking, and whatever the latest fad exercise is that I’ve probably not even heard of yet this baby has you covered. Or rather, it has the ground covered, protecting you from rug burn, road rash, or the slips.
After All That Exercise I’m Not Really Doing I’m Going To Need A Bath With A Fancy Bath Tray
via: AmazonHere’s something I can really get behind, or under, as I soak in a too-hot basin of salted relaxation otherwise known as a bath. The problem with baths is that the design of most tubs makes it difficult to truly get an epic lounge going. Problem solved with this luxury bamboo bath tray. It’s got it all: a cradle for your phone, a stand for your tablet or a book, a slot for your wine glass, and several areas for miscellaneous bath products, incense, candles, or anything else you want to burn while trying to relax in the tub. Comes with a bonus bamboo soap tray.
I Would Like To See What I Can See See See With This Compact But Powerful Telescope
via: AmazonI’ve always been fascinated by the stars, and I have a few apps that help with stargazing, but I’m tired of getting cheap seat views with my junky old binoculars. This beautiful piece of stargazing tech is small enough to fit in even the tiniest apartment, but strong enough to get you up close and personal with the moon and its celestial neighbors. My favorite feature is the bluetooth controlled camera remote and mount, which allows you to get Instagram worthy pictures of whatever you’re training your lens on.
Time To Clean This Pile Of Cat Hair We Call A House With This Lightweight Bagless Vacuum
via: AmazonFur real. There’s so much cat hair floating around this house that I could make a new cat out of the sweeper detritus. My biggest issue is the stairs, which my current vacuum does NOT do well at all. It’s too heavy, and the supposed pet hair attachment just throws little bits of debris right back in my face, thus ensuring that I never use it. Enter this relatively compact sweeper, weighing in at under 8 pounds it’s less than half as heavy as my current model, and it has the tools I need for crevice and stair cleaning, plus a washable filter to keep maintenance costs down.