If you don't have Twitter, I can honestly tell you that you are missing out on some top-notch jokes and timeless, but incredibly odd, jokes. It's a very unique sense of humor and some strange memes that sometimes are best kept on Twitter. It's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure.
With so many meme trends changing so quickly, sometimes it's nice to just have tweets that will always be funny, no matter what the meme machine is curating nowadays. This kind of humor won't fade or go out of style, it's just ridiculously funny, all the time, no matter what.
If you are looking for some of these hilariously creative tweets, some relatable, others utterly absurd, then look no further. These jokes are sure to have you laughing out loud in your office and clicking retweet as fast as your fingers possibly can. There will be plenty to LOL about.
The creative liar.
wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] me: I'm having an affair— Josh (@Josh)1471527048.0
Just a passive-aggressive person.
ME:[defending myself] Oh yeah?? Well I got 5 words for you buddy: please be nice to me— Stopped the Steal (@Stopped the Steal)1460828995.0
The holiest tweet.
Jesus out here looking like a SNACK https://t.co/XrTQxOYzRb— SIMP for Jorgen Von Strangle (@SIMP for Jorgen Von Strangle)1519441072.0
Our dying wish.
coffins : the ultimate and final ravioli— egg d o g (@egg d o g)1520412337.0
Art for the sake of art.Paint me like one of your french dogs.
Our least favorite movie.
ME: ugh turn this off, I hate depressing movies GOD: This is your life flashing before your eyes ME: Put Ratatouille on— Jon (@Jon)1519652529.0
Confidence is a major key.
DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT https://t.co/Kr48zBcL1m— Klaudia Amenábar (@Klaudia Amenábar)1501689211.0
We stan a happy marriage.I can't wait to see his face when he pulls back that plastic veil. What a beautiful union.
I’m just a girl Sitting in front of a computer Holding a phone Which is open to the same website as the computer I’m sitting in front of.— Allison Tolman (@Allison Tolman)1527190650.0
Having a good roommate.
Roommate has date coming by later and asked me to clean bc he's not home. So I made a Princess D shrine in his room https://t.co/wfOeVUm7yW— Deno DeMartino (@Deno DeMartino)1498871125.0
The truth they don't tell you.This is a pretty accurate description of college.
When you really aren't a morning person.
Me setting my alarm for every 5 minutes in the morning https://t.co/TjCBc9hPcY— Brendon Uriethra (@Brendon Uriethra)1505100348.0
A girl can dream.This is relatable on another level. I'll spare you the selfie for proof.
The vegan sacrifice.
finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.— rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle mandik 🕳)1453385698.0
Pleasure to meet you. The name's... https://t.co/Auq5ynNTHJ— Jay 🖖 (@Jay 🖖)1471546241.0
Degrees are overrated!
STOP ENCOURAGING EVERYONE TO GO TO COLLEGE THERE IS NOT ENOUGH PARKING— Austin Sawyer (@Austin Sawyer)1504016573.0
Showbiz, baby!Don't quit your day job.
Being a human is exhausting.
i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die— pascalle (@pascalle)1393473657.0
Jeff and Geoff.
"Anybody here named Jeff?" Jeff: "Yes" Geoff: "Yeos"— mtobey (@mtobey)1453334553.0
Meet my other friends.
"Anyone in here named Steven?" Steven: Yes Stephen: Yeph— Mia K. (@Mia K.)1505343047.0
Loyalty at its finest.
Nailed it. https://t.co/L7mrWA2xC2— James (@James)1484553335.0
Fame is hard for a shark.
Shark week is actually the safest time to go to the beach because all the sharks are busy being on TV— Eric Thomas (@Eric Thomas)1500936543.0
No more clownin' around.
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns— Cohen is a ghost (@Cohen is a ghost)1386892209.0
Potato mashers mashing any and all convenience.
We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.— Simon Holland (@Simon Holland)1502821023.0
me: skincare! my other organs: please help us .— sam (@sam)1501043545.0
Omg my bad!Sorry for being a terrible person! It's just who I am!
Who's a good boy?
[while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?— brent (@brent)1499116878.0
Proper time management.
me (after spending two hours watching old Vine compilations): how do people have time to listen to podcasts— Deirdre (@Deirdre)1522794379.0
That dang duvet!
CHANGING YOUR DUVET COVER -remember to use your energy sparingly. It's a marathon, not a sprint -make sure you stay hydrated -don't panic— Manytypesoftea (@Manytypesoftea)1500115992.0
We all know a kitchen that looks like this.Keep calm and carry on to another white woman's kitchen.
Life hacks with men.
I’ve learned in my 27 years of life that you cannot send 2 questions to a man in the same text message, or separate… https://t.co/2VQeAGLWQs— peach 🍑 (@peach 🍑)1552318118.0
Some serious wisdom.
socrates: to do is to be plato: to be is to do scooby: do be do— nard (@nard)1552505347.0
If this isn't me.
no one: not a soul: literally NOBODY: me: https://t.co/896bahseZM— sarah (@sarah)1553128949.0
It was a team effort.
Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second— Gabby Noone (@Gabby Noone)1461620147.0
An instant genius.
how'd he have time to write all those plays then https://t.co/O6I4qc4YPY— tatiana (@tatiana)1490051862.0
our cats had a fight and my parents are trying to make them resolve it lol https://t.co/O7IHihmPo1— allie oetken (@allie oetken)1466967364.0
Don't be a Carol.
"Wow 3 tattoos.. those are pretty permanent you know" Me: wow 3 kids... those are pretty damn permanent CAROL— Emily Barry (@Emily Barry)1501037478.0
Why is it so loud!?
[slipping DJ $20] my good sir would you turn it down a skooch— ♥ mark magark♥ (@♥ mark magark♥)1512238259.0
Singular! Not! Plural!
stop naming your babies James. name him Jame. he is one Jame.— kelky (@kelky)1510589409.0
I think everyone thought this.
Why did my momma make me think it was illegal to turn a light on in a car while you were driving throughout my whole childhood— ari. (@ari.)1486348327.0
Just for clarification.
When you're struggling to reach the word count whilst writing an essay https://t.co/czr48f5EYT— Dan (@Dan)1495140706.0
This kid has a bright future.
Riley, you're a genius. https://t.co/Lp3VAf7C2Q— Joel Willans (@Joel Willans)1501405695.0
This is my nightmare.Good thing you only have to see him twice a year.
Sorry for apologizing!
someone: you don’t have to apologize for everything, you’re good me: oh ok......ˢᵒʳʳʸ— َ (@َ)1516161186.0
Spinach is deceiving!
How much spinach I start cooking vs how much I end up with. https://t.co/DWmWEKQFkm— Simply TC (@Simply TC)1515112336.0
This is the bane of my existence.
People who put plates with bones & cups with teabags in the sink... What exactly is your problem?— Queen B ❣️ (@Queen B ❣️)1554139384.0
me: (texting boss) we still on for work today? boss: yes. you dont have to text me this every morning. we're "on" for work every day mon-fri— slick (@slick)1492186358.0
A fresh dose of reality.
[son hands me a picture he painted] Me: what's that Son: it's our house Me [walks outside with son]: do you see how it absolutely isn't?— David Hughes (@David Hughes)1504199421.0
Down with tuna-shaming!
really just spent two minutes like "why would you shame someone with tuna?" https://t.co/jACWpwJBET— tech fleece tormund (@tech fleece tormund)1503951121.0
Just one more day.
I've been hitting "remind me tomorrow" on a computer update for the last 68 years.— summer goth 🦇 (@summer goth 🦇)1532622550.0