Ah, marriage. In many ways, it's a true joy: feeling that level of commitment to someone you love, knowing you're building your lives together, that feeling of someone constantly having your back - it all sounds pretty hard to beat.
But, on the other hand, sometimes marriage kind of, well, sucks. Being so close to your spouse means that they have a pretty unique ability to get under your skin. And for those moments, it's nice to feel like you aren't alone in just being over your nuptials. Here are fifty of the best marriage-related memes to get you through the tough times - and to help you keep it together until you come out the other side.
When you need to manage expectations.Marriage is not all rainbows and unicorns, people!
When you feel you're in it alone.
me [holding wife's shirt] Can this go in the dryer? wife: What does it say on the tag? me: “Made in Vietnam” wife:… https://t.co/6eR4Ck0yQN— Josh (@Josh)1547940456.0
When things have changed.
50 Shades of Grey, the married-with-kids version: Attempting to sort 50 white (now grey) socks in laundry basket while husband snores.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Stephanie Ortiz)1492652907.0
When things get stale.
wife: Let's fool around after the kids go to bed narrator: But they never did fool around— Josh (@Josh)1483369833.0
When you have to wait your turn.
Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]— Grant Tanaka (@Grant Tanaka)1457305594.0
When you're stunned into silence.
My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth— Josh (@Josh)1412972321.0
When you disagree on what's important.
WIFE: Stop spending money on stupid stuff ME: Okay [later] WIFE: What the hell? [dog walks by in a tuxedo] ME: He's getting married, Karen— Floyd (@Floyd)1471449981.0
Two partners, united against a common enemy.
wife & I just overheard the kids talking about how they'll decorate the house after we die, so I guess we're sleeping in shifts from now on— Grant Tanaka (@Grant Tanaka)1509154887.0
Sharing is an important skill to learn.
Toddler: *crying bc it isn't her turn with the princess crown* Me: Sweetie, you need to share Husband: Just give her the crown, you're 35— Lurkin' Mom (@Lurkin' Mom)1486299927.0
me: honey you need to embrace your flaws wife: ok [hugs me]— Grant Tanaka (@Grant Tanaka)1502922432.0
This guy knows how to dad.
Wife: *trying to open a can of tuna* Our can opener is broken. Me: So it's a can't opener? Wife: I can't believe I married you.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1496362350.0
It's all falling into place...
Wow, you forget to buy beer a few days in a row and suddenly your husband is offering to do the grocery shopping, my plan is working, guys.— Lurkin' Mom (@Lurkin' Mom)1486035219.0
An attempt to be sexy was made.
Me: I'm gonna take a shower. Husband, raising eyebrows suggestively: Need any help? Me: Yeah, keep the kids busy.— SpacedMom (@SpacedMom)1500822109.0
She's going to be so mad.
I'm never more nervous than when I insist we're out of something and my wife goes to look for it herself.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1506554859.0
"And here you'll find the coat closet, where we keep coats."
Offering home tours, not for prospective buyers, but for my husband, who doesn't know where anything is.— Foxy Wine Pocket (@Foxy Wine Pocket)1486059433.0
There's a reasonable explanation.
Weird, my wife caught the cold that I just got over and she does not act like she is dying. Colds must effect women differently.— Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe)1505692131.0
"No I cannot pause it."And they always talk during a good part too, like when The Joker is talking to Two-Face in the hospital in The Dark Knight. (That's the best scene in any movie.)
My man got roasted.
*RSVP’ing to Christmas party* Whispering into phone: is it ok if I bring my weird roommate? Husband, from behind me: STOP CALLING ME THAT— Sara Buckley (@Sara Buckley)1511728927.0
"Who's a good boy?!"
[leaving for work] *gives wife a quick kiss* *spends 10 minutes saying bye to the dog*— Josh (@Josh)1484745046.0
"General! The pun threshold is critical!"
wife: "no" me: "its a good name" wife: "keith we're not calling the dog sarah jessica barker, keep thinking" me: wife: me: "woofie goldberg"— k e i t h 🐤🥔 (@k e i t h 🐤🥔)1488555724.0
A day we will never forget.
My wife combined so many coupons the grocery store actually paid her. She's been talking about it for 20 minutes. This is her Super Bowl.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1501624454.0
Aww, a sweet one!Or, the less sweet interpretation is that the husband was just going to wolf down whatever was in front of him anyway, so he didn't care what it was.
Modern problems require modern solutions.
Wife: *sends a Facebook invite to an event called “Clean the House”* Me: *clicks “can’t go”*— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1509197722.0
This sure escalated fast.
Wife: Don't tweet that Me: *thinks about it* Wife: I'll divorce you Me: *thinks harder* Wife: And give you all 4 kids Me: *hits delete*— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1502027048.0
Marriage status: My wife refused to move, so I made the bed over the top of her. https://t.co/DPEz9buSPi— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1497211000.0
"And I just went to the store for these!"
My arm could be chopped off and I could be covering the wound with paper towels and my wife would be like, "Too many. You're wasting them!"— Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe)1495942103.0
A true conundrum.
Dear Abby, I told my husband I didn’t want a grilled cheese when he was making one and now I want a grilled cheese. What do I do?— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaTriesToTweet)1507247540.0
Burn these tapes.
[Husband 911] Me: I just shattered the gravy boat. 911: She'll kill you. M: I know. 911: We never spoke. M: What? 911: Good luck * Click *— Twin Dad (@Twin Dad)1483458865.0
This is accurate.
How people walk when they’re: DATING *holding hands* ENGAGED *arms locked* MARRIED *one person is 5 feet in front… https://t.co/4BuHGvvPzf— Josh (@Josh)1513525120.0
"We mentioned this in our vows, honey."
"You see, when a man loves a woman very, very much, he makes her coffee," I explain to my kids while looking at my husband.— Jennifer S. White (@Jennifer S. White)1487333987.0
Look at this jerk, chewing like that.
Until I got married I didn't even know it was possible to chew bubblegum arrogantly.— Donna McCoy (@Donna McCoy)1484683584.0
"We are having guests."
*wife runs back into our house which is on fire* What are you doing!? W: I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here— The Cre Master (@The Cre Master)1491408040.0
Let's get it straight.
wife: [talking & making baby noises at cat] me: you must be bored af wife: no I'm not me: I was talking to the cat— Grant Tanaka (@Grant Tanaka)1508203722.0
Is this the best use of our time here?
[marriage counseling] She doesn't think I'm very romantic "He wears a fanny pack to bed" IT'S FOR HOLDING SNACKS, KAREN— Floyd (@Floyd)1503942047.0
Some husbands are very mean.Read the room, hus-bo. That was not the right thing to say.
I would have a great answer.
Protip: If your wife asks you “How lazy can you be?” it’s a rhetorical question.— Boyd's Backyard™ (@Boyd's Backyard™)1512309686.0
"This is important to me."
*about to be executed Executioner: Any last words? Me: Tell my wife I.....I....I’m still technically correct.— The Cre Master (@The Cre Master)1507745477.0
When you go above and beyond.
ME: honey, it's really muggy out today WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u ME: *sips coffee from bowl*— Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash (@Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash)1434388539.0
When you find out what's the line.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently— Boyd's Backyard™ (@Boyd's Backyard™)1374250314.0
When you have to buy something.
Wife: We need milk, eggs, and bread. Write it down. Me: No need. I'll remember. [an hour later] Wife: What did you buy? Me: A panda.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1462567180.0
When you're trying to keep it super casual.
*pulls curtain back while wife is in the shower* me: Are we - stop screaming, it's just me- are we out of Cheetos?— Josh (@Josh)1456334470.0
When you can't shift gears.
MARRIED SEXTING: I'm not wearing any underwear...because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times.— Christie Johnson (@Christie Johnson)1442693373.0
When you're stuck in limbo and need to make a call.
When my husband goes outside to investigate a strange noise, how long do I have to wait before un-pausing the show we were watching?— Amy Dillon (@Amy Dillon)1451449241.0
When it's time to call a spade a spade.
me: want me to make dinner wife: nah it's ok honey, I know you're still tired from doing it back in 2003— Grant Tanaka (@Grant Tanaka)1472009352.0
When there is very much a wrong way.
Before I got married I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge— Josh (@Josh)1433958087.0
When you have something to tell them...
ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first M: The penguin pooped in the tub W: We don't own a- M: *smiling* And now the good news— Floyd (@Floyd)1449074535.0
When you forget to use Incognito Mode.
Wife: Where are you Me: The store W: Don't lie to me M: Wh- W: I saw the internet history M: *hangs up* https://t.co/CbhMqKVGkq— Marcus “The Worm” Hicks (@Marcus “The Worm” Hicks)1464190963.0
When you're very proud of the name you came up with.
Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck. Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs.— Annie Hatfield (@Annie Hatfield)1436395109.0
When you're at your wit's end.It could be worse — she could have a sick husband and one thousand babies. And those babies could get sick!
When you can't help but think about what you'd spend the money on...
My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.— Stella G. Maddox (@Stella G. Maddox)1414962050.0
When they don't see the whole picture.
wife: You forgot to turn the TV off last night [flashback to me leaving it on so the dog could finish watching Air Bud] me: No I didn't— Josh (@Josh)1469463339.0
When you try to be romantic.
I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words... Were you fired??— Boyd's Backyard™ (@Boyd's Backyard™)1427343073.0
When you've got to calls 'em like you sees 'em.
When I awoke from the car accident in a full bodycast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful.— Kent Graham (@Kent Graham)1432463805.0
When you need some space right then and there.
My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70mph.— Brad Broaddus (@Brad Broaddus)1337994917.0
When you're just plain wrong.
Relationship status: My wife asked me what I wanted for dinner and then told me I was wrong.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1456101096.0
When you start thinking about how much things cost.
Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I've learned that I don't need to use so many paper towels, and they're expensive.— Pete Lynch ⚪️ (@Pete Lynch ⚪️)1364254596.0
When you lose your voice.
The Mrs and I have been married so long she can finish my sentences. She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.— The Alex Nevil (@The Alex Nevil)1460422382.0
When you're just trying to snack.
Me: Look, I love you, But I made exactly the amount of cheese & crackers I want to eat right now. Wife: But I only... Me: EXACTLY the amount— keith (@keith)1415072157.0
When you need to get the facts straight.
Tell me again how I unloaded the dishwasher too loudly when you were watching golf. Detectives will want to know exactly how this went down.— Annie Hatfield (@Annie Hatfield)1433289622.0
When you've found The One.
My wife & I just snoozed 2 separate alarm clocks for 2.5 hrs. This is the exact relationship I hoped for.— Cameron Esposito (@Cameron Esposito)1463587306.0
When it all starts to click.
Me: I spent HALF as much as YOU usually do on groceries. Wife: Congratulations. [2 hours later] Me: We have nothing to eat in this house.— Rodney Lacroix (@Rodney Lacroix)1452352371.0
When you achieve a dream.
It was while watching husband eat 9 hard-boiled eggs in one sitting that I realized I'd achieved my childhood dream of marrying Gaston.— Val (@Val)1463333594.0
When you think you know, but you have no idea.
When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.— Simon Holland (@Simon Holland)1445878737.0
When you've done all you can do.Gonna need a little more information on what kind of fancy socks those are before I can make a ruling as to whether or not this endeavor will be successful.
When you start to notice something worrying.
Husband: UGH that kid is JUST LIKE YOU. Me: Wonderful? H: M: Charming? H: M: Light of your life? H: [leaves room] Me: [shouts] SUPER COOL?— Kim Bongiorno (@Kim Bongiorno)1445715347.0
When you aren't in the mood to share.
Wife: How many times have I told you NOT to use my face moisturizer as body lotion? Me: *skin absolutely glowing* is this a trick question?— PunchyK (@PunchyK)1492601317.0
When you're not on the same page.Why is it that one of you gets to be the "fun one" while the other has to be sensible?
When they can't do anything right.
wife [on phone] Did you preheat the oven like I asked? me: Yep wife: What temperature? me: 534 wife: That's the clock me wife me: 535— Josh (@Josh)1492378549.0
When you've simply had enough.
*sitting in the dark at the kitchen table waiting for my wife* Hello Karen. Maybe you'd like to tell me who used all my essential oils— Dan Duvall (@Dan Duvall)1487183625.0
When you can't get your story straight.
My husband doesn't seem to realize I'm mad at him which is ridiculous because I just spent the last 20 min convincing him I'm not mad at him— Lurkin' Mom (@Lurkin' Mom)1478394440.0
When you don't share the same interests.
[crawls out of burning house] "SIR, IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE INSIDE?" [flash backs of wife making me watch Big Bang Theory] "No."— David Hughes (@David Hughes)1459289725.0
When you can't be bothered.
Wife: You wouldn't believe the day- *puts TV remote to my ear* Hello? Hey Bob- [hand covering remote] -sorry honey, I have to take this.— Chad Read (@Chad Read)1445368068.0
When you know what they're good for.
Wife: IT’S OVER! GET OUT! Me: Ok, good luck killing spiders Wife: Wait— Dude-Bro Dad (@Dude-Bro Dad)1542680717.0
When you realize you've married a giant baby.
Sorry. I was late because I had to find all the things that were in plain sight for my husband.— Housy Wife (@Housy Wife)1437104062.0
When you have a different kind of secret.Is there anything sexier than eating chocolate in bed?
When you misinterpret your role.
Me: I'm glad I got married. Everyone needs a sidekick. Wife: Good point, Robin.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1490187350.0
When you learn a valuable lesson.
#MarriageIs the insurance that someone will be there to criticize everything you do once your parents are out of the picture.— Staz Trudeaux (@Staz Trudeaux)1441071119.0
When you need to take a stance.
Establish dominance in your household by staring at your husband while you unplug his phone from the charger and plug in your own.— Mommy Owl (@Mommy Owl)1511397489.0
When they're always in the way.
Marriage is just your spouse perpetually standing in front of the kitchen drawer or cabinet you need to open.— SpacedMom (@SpacedMom)1523322396.0
When you can go one of two ways.
*watching husband sleep* Me: "I just love him so much, he's my everyth-" *husband snores* Me: "I can't live like this."— Stephanie Ortiz (@Stephanie Ortiz)1472356803.0
When you see who wears the trousers.
My wife wanted two kittens but I am the man in this house so we got two kittens— Justin Guarini (@Justin Guarini)1421457594.0
When you weaponize your knowledge.
Marriage is about understanding what irritates your spouse and using it strategically.— The Alex Nevil (@The Alex Nevil)1516197604.0
When you know them better than they know themselves.
*walking into store* Him: You need a cart? Me: No, I'm just getting 2 things. Him: *rolls eyes, grabs cart* Marriage level: Expert— Sarcastic Mommy (@Sarcastic Mommy)1505673058.0
When you have to choose your story.
wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] me: I'm having an affair— Josh (@Josh)1471527048.0
When you have to take the bad with the good.It could be worse! We're not sure how - but we're sure it could be.
When the lines of reality blur.
Still waiting for my husband to apologize for what he did in my dream last night.— Jennifer S. White (@Jennifer S. White)1485644981.0
When you just get them.
Just listed my wife as my emergency contact and added the note “please text, she doesn’t answer calls.”— Kent Graham (@Kent Graham)1526378346.0
When you sweat the small stuff.
[sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations*— Simon Holland (@Simon Holland)1541727761.0
When you notice a shift.
I’ve reached the point in my marriage that my husband fell asleep on the couch and OMG I AM SO EXCITED I GET THE BED ALL TO MYSELF— Lady Lawya (@Lady Lawya)1508040043.0
When you take arguments to the next level.
My wife and I hit an important marriage milestone. We had a fight entirely in fridge magnets. http://t.co/sUvXbe2Fnn— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1433415142.0
When you look on the bright side.
I read that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and all I could think was, "Lucky bastards."— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭)1554500235.0
When you have your priorities in order.
I hope my husband likes his Father's Day present and also the twelve things I bought for myself while shopping for it.— Amy Dillon (@Amy Dillon)1466180269.0
When life is a constant competition.
Tell me how tired you are so I can upstage you and tell you how much more tired I am. -marriage— Mommy Owl (@Mommy Owl)1504393695.0
When they can't quite let it go.
"Oh, and another thing......." Wives 10 years after a fight ended— 🌴 Envy 🌴 (@🌴 Envy 🌴)1550124069.0
When you realize what's important.
My husband is off to the grocery store so I can stay home and day drink. That is the definition of true love.— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭)1560618513.0
When you need to compromise.
After many heart to heart talks my husband and I have decided at this stage of our marriage to go ahead and get sep… https://t.co/jPktpOd7IV— sophielou (@sophielou)1515593944.0
When the honeymoon is over.Sure, you love them with all your heart - but you wouldn't be sad to take a teeny little break from them, either.
When your spouse is a liar.
Me: are you ready? Husband: yes Me: great, I got myself and the kids ready and everything’s packed up and we’ll a… https://t.co/6pdnNg3Dme— Momarazzi. (@Momarazzi.)1540664851.0
When you realize everyone is terrible.
Before you marry someone, sit next to them on the couch and try to watch your favorite show while they eat a bowl o… https://t.co/rfNVTP8z3L— Lady Lawya (@Lady Lawya)1519611941.0
When you're always suspicious.
Me to my husband: Why don't you ever buy me flowers? Me to myself when I see a dude buying flowers: What'd this motherfucker do?— Ramblin Mama (@Ramblin Mama)1526003570.0
When their expectations are too high.
If you enjoy answering questions like, “Do we have orange juice?” while your husband is literally standing right in… https://t.co/LviaIWakbx— Marriage And Martinis (@Marriage And Martinis)1561641733.0
When you get excited by different things.
If you've been married for any length of time, you've thought about grocery shopping during sex. Don't front.— Stabbatha Christy (@Stabbatha Christy)1518730973.0
When you understand one another.
I'm at the level of marriage where "getting lucky tonight" just means we're having tacos for dinner.— mark (@mark)1438039060.0
When you lower your expectations.
Marriage is basically just eating together and watching HGTV until you die.— Mr. Fox (@Mr. Fox)1424384608.0
When you hit a rough patch.Hey, if you pass the IKEA test, you know you've found yourself a winner.
When you can't stop comparing.
I wonder if Beyoncé gets this annoyed when Jay Z opens a new box of Breathe Right strips before the current one is empty.— Amy Dillon (@Amy Dillon)1447820648.0
When you know your place.
Marriage is mostly about knowing which hand towels you can use and which ones are for the better people who visit your wife's home.— Troy Johnson (@Troy Johnson)1432849546.0
When you celebrate small victories.
[out in public] Me: A kid is crying. Wife: It's not one of ours. [we fist bump]— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn)1450021701.0
When they're up to no good.
Wife [walking into house]: Ummm.. Me: [recreating "You Better Shape Up Scene" from Grease with my dog dressed as Sandy]: You're home early.— Rodney Lacroix (@Rodney Lacroix)1453561422.0
And when you've learned the secret to a happy marriage.
At least 10% of divorces can be avoided by buying bigger blankets— X Alqee (@X Alqee)1341848158.0