911 Operators on Reddit Share The Craziest Calls They've Ever Gotten and It's Hilarious | 22 Words

We typically think that 911 operators have one of the scariest, most traumatizing jobs ever. And that's mostly reigned true. That is until a recent Reddit thread revealed some of the hilariously weird, and crazy 911 calls operators have ever gotten. Believe me, these stories are great.

Between calling the cops on weird animals or participating in a couple's intimate moment, these stories are maybe going to wish you'd enrolled in police academy after all. Or maybe not.

The case of the killer crocs.

Female: There are alligators in the river. Me: Yes ma'am, this is Florida. Female: But my kids play and swim in that river. Me: Why do you let your kids play and swim in alligator infested waters? -BizzyM

Your classic haunted house.

My dad used to work as a 999 call operator. He says the best (or at least the strangest) was an old woman who regularly used to call in saying her house was either being haunted or broken into - she was never quite clear. Apparently, nearly every day she would go up into the attic and find a new half-finished canvas painting (before it mysteriously vanished a few days later). It turns out it was her husband, who had been secretly painting at night all through their marriage (and running a business selling some of these paintings). He had always kept it a secret from her, fearing she would see it as 'unmanly' - but in his senility was forgetting to hide away the paintings in the day. I think she helped running his business and when he died, she took up painting herself as a way to remember him. -wanderingpixelhead

This one has such a cute ending!

I am not a 911 operator, but once when I was a kid I called 911 really quick and then hung up, just to see what might happen. The first responders showed up, talked to my mom, realized everything was fine, and I got off with nothing more than a stern talking-to. It had a happy ending however since one of the first responders ended up dating and eventually marrying my mom. They've been together happily for over two decades now. -Misanthrope_penguin

This is the type of reason someone would call 911 on me for.

I once got a call from a man who wanted to file a report because he believed his daughter was doing witchcraft on him and he only wanted a deputy that believed in witchcraft to assist him. -Cuzimawesome86

This 911 operator got to listen in on a very special moment.

Man calls to say his wife is in labor and they’re driving to the hospital now. I advise them to pull over (way too far from the closest hospital) and let medical personnel meet them. (If you’re on the road, EMS is not going to chase you down...) He’s telling me he sees the head. I’ve barely gotten the medical protocol program going when he says “oh my god! The baby’s out! She’s here! The baby’s here!" I could hear the baby crying in the background. So I switch over to the post-birth protocol and make sure everyone’s good as the fire truck shows up and I get off the phone. I didn’t really do much to help, but to be able to hear that new baby cry and know that everyone was okay and happy made it the best call ever. -ohTHATone

How did this guy even get up in a tree?

Best call I heard was one about an extremely elderly gentleman stuck up in a tree. He had climbed up to the top of this big maple tree and then forgotten why he was up there. He refused to try to come down, and I guess when the first responders got there quite a few of the neighbors were standing around with blankets in case he fell. The fire department eventually got him down, although I guess he was kicking and complaining the whole way. -benevolent_penguin

This is the sweetest 911 call ever. Just a kid and his ball.

I'm not a 911 Operator, but I work in EMS billing and occasionally have to read the written narrative of ambulance calls. That is, the ambulance crew's written report about the events of the call. The one that sticks out to me most was the time the ambulance crew responds to a report of a 4-year-old that "hit a car" when chasing after a ball. He seems ok when they arrive, but the parents want the ambulance crew to look him over just to be safe. So they check for internal bleeding, age-appropriate behavior, no broken bones etc. Everything is looking good so they ask him how he feels and he says "I'm ok, but my ball has a boo-boo!". So they check the ball for internal bleeding, age-appropriate behavior, no broken bones etc. and tell the kid "your ball is OK!" before returning to the ambulance and leaving. -Dubanx

A prank call gone wrong.

Not an operator but as a young kid my brother told me about the concept of 911, I didn’t believe him so I called and said our house was on fire. Not long after I got a stern talking to by my mom and a couple of policemen. -jcorno24

The funniest call involving a cow ever!

I'm a former jail officer for a small county jail. Dispatch was in the same building so I used to sit and talk with the dispatchers and hear calls that came in. The best one I heard was a guy who started out the call with "I HIT A ______ BEEFALO!" (cow/buffalo hybrid) Dispatcher and he share a laugh and she asked if the car was disabled and blocking the road. He said "NO. I RAN OFF THE ROAD AND ENDED UP PAST THE FENCE WHERE THE ______ BEEFALO OUTTA BE!" -earnedmystripes

This lady hates ducks.

The funniest call I ever saw was a lady called in wanting officers to intervene at a local lake. She said that two male ducks were attempting to drown a female duck. -PsychoStryder

It was a little too stormy for this Floridian.

Working in FL during a small hurricane. A lady in a rich condo in the rich people part of town calls because her AC is out. I explain to her that: yeah, there's a hurricane, and she explains in a panic that her windows don't open and she's running out of the air. I try to explain to her, but she tells me she's using up her air and hangs up. -gunmedic15

When your airplane "stops working" mid-air.

Not an operator, but I was at a small, private airport and met with an officer responding to a 911 call. It was a windy day out and apparently a woman had called the police to complain about a plane that was “stuck in the air." It was just a small, underpowered plane struggling to make forward progress in the wind. The cop was laughing the whole time as he was “investigating" this “stuck" airplane. -MSchumi101

A game of hide-and-go-seek gone wrong!

We live on a farm with 7 acres. Our house sits at the front of the property and behind the house is the shop, then the grain bins, then our hog operation. I was cleaning our car out and turned out to my 4-year-old daughter not playing where I last heard her. I called her name and literally searched EVERYWHERE. Went in the house and looked in all the rooms and her favorite hiding spots, not there. Ran out to the shop, she's not there. Then I panicked and ran to where the pigs are and saw no signs of her. I then called my husband, he left the field and rushed home. We looked for over 10 minutes before I broke down bawling and called 911. I absolutely have to give credit to our dispatcher and our local sheriff’s office. It takes about 15 minutes to get to our house from town and they were there within 8 minutes while I was on the phone. As soon as I see the officer, I look over to where we keep our pigs feed (it's inside the shop) and see two little eyes peeking over the top of the trough. She hid when she thought she was in trouble, I know the dispatcher and she said she cried when she heard we found her. -schuser

This guy just needed a hug. And maybe a nap.

Had a dispatch from a complainant who was "hurt deeply, but not bleeding. Is not sure if he is awake or sleeping" among other things. When I arrived we quickly found the guy who’s first questions were, am I alive? Are you death? Can I get a hug? And proceeded to start crying until I gave him his requested hug. I managed to convince him to let me give him a ride to the hospital. During the ride, he disclosed that he was recently diagnosed bi-polar and was coming down off salvia which explained a lot. Dude was tripping so hard, really glad he wasn't violent. -BlueHerogen

Classic boy-scout shenanigans.

When I was about 8 I was in Boy Scouts. We went to a Police Station as a field trip. We sat in the waiting area for a tour. While we were waiting a kid (who’s always been a trouble-maker) used the pay phone, dialed 911 and hung up. Not even 30 seconds later a female cop bursts through the door and fury in her eyes. And yell “who called 911!" No one fessed up so we got a long lecture on how serious it is for prank calling 911. The stupid kid never got caught. Last I heard he’s in jail right now ironically. -epicnate932

It's a St. Patty's day miracle!

St Patrick’s day 2007. Guy calls in about 5 mins from his house saying he got a call that his wife’s water just broke. After asking how far apart the contractions are he stated 10+ mins. Having to get other 9-1-1 lines I told him to call back when he got home. Well a couple mins later he did and I happened to answer the call. Her contractions at this point were less than 2 mins apart now. I had him lay her down and get ready for delivery. This was their second child btw. A couple pushes later I hear a brand new baby girl wailing in the background. Now it usually doesn’t take an ambulance that long to get to where they were but other calls and lack of resources that day led to an 11 min response time. Turned out that these people were friends of a friend but I didn’t know that until after they called the local news to come and do an interview with me and share the story the next week. I got to hold the baby as well! :) -shooty80

I swear these people had to be running a meth lab.

Not a dispatcher - but I did have to call recently because my (former) drunk neighbor had a habit of setting his house on fire. By this phone call, the house was gone, and only the basement was left. (He was living in a trailer on the property.) 911: "what's your emergency?" me: sorry, my neighbor's basement is on fire. 911: "what?" me: the basement, is on fire. I know it's 4 am, but the basement is on fire. 911: "is there a house on top? is the house on fire?" me: nope. No house there to burn, just the basement. 911: [silence] [whispering] "...how" ... "okay I'm dispatching someone, what's the address? -WeeklyPie

This citizen was concerned over a cute seal.

During some particularly stormy weather: [Police Emergency] Hello yes, I'm down by the beach and there is a seal in the water [...] Well he just looks like he is struggling a bit [I'm sorry I'm not entirely sure what you require the Police to do?] I thought you could come and help it. [With all due respect, a seal is an aquatic mammal, if it cannot survive in the ocean then I'm afraid that's a concept called natural selection] ... [Plus I'm not sure exactly how much help a Police officer will be to the seal] Call ends. I'm informed a few hours later that the person then, complained about me. Speechless. -Tommo-5oh

And similarly, about a deer!

Caller: A deer just swam across the river behind my house. Me: Okay? Caller: Well I am worried it might be cold. Me:.......Well, there is nothing we can do about a deer being cold. Didn't it run off after swimming the river? Caller: Yes. Me: Well ma'am it's a wild animal and I'd guess it's going to be fine. Caller: Ok -NodePoker

This is the best 911 call ever.

Had a drunk person call to report he was being harassed. Truth was..... He was being arrested by our officers for throwing pizza at people. All I heard in the background was one of my officers saying to him "that better not be our dispatcher on the phone" followed by some muffled talking and my officer taking the phone and saying "he will be taking a ride with us now" and hung up. -tkokilroy

Not that kind of peanut allergy.

Had a lady trying to call an ambulance because she opened a package from Amazon at home and she was afraid that her kid was about to have a major allergic reaction from the packing Peanuts, because the kid was allergic to peanuts, and when her kid mentioned what they were called, she freaked out. -Random-Miser

This is the smartest little 4-year-old ever.

Dispatcher: what's your emergency? 4 Year Old: um, I got a cut on my finger Dispatcher: is your finger bleeding? 4 Year Old: yeah, a little bit Dispatcher: okay sweetie is your mom or dad there to help you clean it up and put a band-aid on it? 4 Year Old: my mom is but she fell over and isn't talking anymore. He didn't call 9-1-1 because of his cut. He called because he showed his mom his paper cut and she passed out from the little pinprick of blood. She hit her head and was lying unconscious on the ground. Mom was taken to the hospital, they gave her oxygen or something I’m not sure but she woke up that day and was fine, no brain damage or anything. She's really squeamish but an awesome mom. Nick (the four-year-old) got a super cool Elmo band-aid! Nick's older brother Mitchell had a firefighter visit his class at school that week. When he got home from school that day, Mitchell called 9-1-1 "to see if it was true." The firefighters came to the house and explained to Mitchell and Nick when to call and when not to call. I guess little Nick was listening. He got the paper cut a few days after the firefighters came. -Rachie_Bean

The case of the stolen microwave.

Guy lived in a rooming house that had a public area where all the residents could hang out. It had a microwave in it provided by the landlord. Guy called 911 around midnight one night because the microwave wasn't there. The conversation with the dispatcher went something like this: Dispatcher: "So... you called 911 because a microwave you don't even own is missing? Did you ask your landlord if he took it?" Guy: "Uh, no." Dispatcher: "Well, that's not an emergency, sir." Guy: "But I'm really hungry." -Shaydu

A concerned grandma.

So this elderly woman calls 911 and it goes like this: “Ok, ma’am what is your emergency?" “If my husband has a stroke should I call you?" I'm sorry you said your husband having a stroke ma’am?" “Oh no, he’s fine, I just want to know if I should call you when he does" “...ma’am is he showing any signs of stroke? Unusual speech? Facial distortion? One side of his body not working?" “No deary none of that, he’s just getting old and I want to know if that would be an emergency" -DanHam117

An unknown housefire?

Volunteer firefighter here. Long story short, get a chimney fire call. Go to the address. Old lady greets us with confusion. Tells us she just lit a fire in her fireplace. Check the chimney, fine. Check the house, fine. Check the fireplace, fine. Ask dispatch if the call was from home address, she says it was a cell phone. The old lady didn't make the call. OFW a random passerby called in a chimney fire because smoke was coming out of a chimney. -Haiku_lass

Some killer bees.

Had someone call because a bee was in their car. The person wasn’t allergic or anything, but there was a bee flying around. PD got on scene and opened the door and the bee flew out. Problem solved. Have also had someone come into the fire station to alert us of a dead monkey in the road in front of our station. It was a raccoon that got hit by a car. She swore it was a monkey though. -IcyYes

It's a Christmas miracle!

6:30 am Christmas morning. 9-1-1 goes off. "9-1-1. what's your emergency?" Breathless, panicky voice "How do I get the cranberry sauce out of the can without it coming out in chunks?" "Open the other end and slide it out on a plate." "OH! THANK YOU! You are brilliant!" -malloryparker

You should definitely call an ambulance for this one.

Worked at a Level 1 trauma center. We had a guy come in with his wife after demanding that an ambulance transport him to the hospital. He was less than two blocks away. All he had was a broken finger. -benevolentbearattack

The over-reaction of the century.

I'm not a dispatcher, but back in my EMS days, I was dispatched on a call of a child being poisoned. Upon our arrival, we find a 14-year-old male and his mother. The mother was insisting we take them to the hospital so he could have his stomach pumped because he had swallowed chewing gum. The child was looking at us as if to say, "I'm sorry my mother is crazy." One year later, same address, same family, called for poisoning. Upon arrival, we find the same kid and mother. The mother wanted to be taken to the hospital because the kid had admitted to his mother that he had taken a hit of marijuana when he was visiting friends the week before. The kid had the same look on his face. -EdwardStarsmith

When you're the one making the dumb call.

Oh, this was me doing the dumb call. I was the passenger and my boyfriend was driving, I had my phone locked and in my pocket and accidentally butt-dialed 000 (Australian equivalent of 911). The radio was on so I didn't hear anything, but the dispatcher obviously heard muffled voices and random noises. I started to receive calls back from a different number I didn't know. I tend not to answer unknown numbers but after 2 or 3 callbacks I picked up. Queue awkward conversation where the dispatcher clearly thought I was in a domestic situation and couldn't talk and was trying to talk in code, but with the possibility of the phone being on speaker or whatever. Especially when I denied calling 000 in the first place. Bless that person who was trying to do the right thing in what they thought was a serious situation but it was honestly just my butt. -lakesharks